Reading is an activity that many people enjoy, people enjoy fiction, nonfiction, all kinds of books. But to enjoy these books you have to know how to read, that's what i’m here for. Of course if you're reading this to learn how to read I won’t be much help because you already can’t read so how is reading something going to help you learn to read, unless you can turn this into an audio book I don’t know how to help you. Anyways, let's get started, first if you want to read you need to know how to speak. Now I can’t help you with this. It's not my specialty but I do know a very good mom who can teach you how to talk. Anyways so if you fit both requirements of being able to read and being able to speak then let's get started for real.

First of all you're going to need a novel, or a magazine, or a piece of poetry or an essay, or anything that has words on it. You then want to take whichever of the named pieces of literature you have found and hold it in front of you at a comfortable angle, of course finding the right angle is the hardest part. Hold it too high and your arms start to hurt, hold it too low however and you could hurt your neck, so right now just find that sweet spot before we go any further. Okay now that we’re all comfortable let’s get started. So first thing you want to do is open the book, there will probably be a thank you section just go to the next page. Now there should be a list of all the chapters in the book, now with other word-filled things I'm not entirely sure if they have a list of chapters but whatever. Anyways keep turning the page until you reach the first chapter or whatever page is filled with words, this will be your starting point in reading. 

Okay so now you kind of just have to look at the words, now that your eyes are on the words you have to look at each individual letter after you do this, if you know how the english language or whatever other language you speak works then you just have to put the sound of the letters together and boom you just read a word. Of course reading a single word isn’t much progress but hey it’s something right. So now that you understand how to read a single word one minute at a time just keep doing that until you can read like 10 words a minute. Although that is not much faster, at least you're making progress right. So now you just keep reading words getting faster and faster at it until you can just kind of read good. Oh and I forgot to mention, do not under any circumstances eat salty, powdery, or powder covered snacks such as potato chips, doritos, cheetos, or any other food like those. For if you eat a snack like this and then touch the pages of a book you will ruin it. Everyone knows that a salty page is not fun to touch, also do not eat any sticky foods like ice-cream this too will ruin the book, because no one wants to turn a sticky page

Anyways now that you understand those important rules, you can read freely, hopefully, unless you are being held hostage and cannot read a book you should be good to go. And if you are being held hostage I don’t know what to tell you, cause this whole essay is about how to read so yeah I won’t be any help with helping you escape, anyways have fun reading.