It is far beyond annoying when people chew with their mouths open. I’m not sure how many times I need to remind someone that their mouth is open for them to get the picture. There have been so many times I want to (and have) left the room because someone is slopping or eating like a pig. 

When I sit with someone who slops I count the minutes until I can leave. I examine their plate and strategically figure out when they will finish. I don’t want to be rude but sometimes it is just better for me to remove myself from the situation before I snap. The only thought going through my mind is OH MY GOD. Will this ever end? I’ll just sit there quietly because I don’t want to be rude, but if I had an opportunity to get out of the situation, I would take it. 

Shut up. I can’t help myself. The need to say something, anything to get them to stop is the only thing on my mind. Maybe if I go on my phone they will stop trying to talk to me. But alas, they don’t and so for the rest of the day, I am mentally scarred. I sit through my next class just having to imagine that wetted bread in their mouth. The chewed-up peas. The damp and soggy crackers. It never ends. Someone put me out of my misery, I think to myself, as the only thing I can think about for the rest of my day is how gross that applesauce in their mouth looked mixed with saliva. 

But then again, what am I supposed to do. Should I say something like, “Chew with your mouth closed before I smash your food into your face”? No, I probably should not. If I bring it up then I would be the rude one, somehow. Since your parents didn’t teach you how to eat with manners when you were five years old, and you were clearly never bright enough to pick up on it, now I’m rude for asking you politely to chew with your mouth closed. 

If I were to look at this on the bright side, at least I can be thankful that my parents raised me with manners. As much as people chewing loudly or with their mouths open is egregious, I’d much rather be the person who has to watch it than the person doing it.