you have no idea how i feel inside, i might be smiling on the outside but on the inside im dying. every time i see you i think of the many reasons of why i even loved you. then it comes back to me and i feel like something inside of me has just died. I never thought that losing you would hurt so much, you were always there for me when i needed you but now i rlly dont know how im going to survive with out you anymore. i want to cry but i have already shed all my tears for you all my pain has been caused by you. my heart aches for you and it wants you so badly but im afraid that i cant take the hurt anymore than i already have. yes there are many reasons, i know, you dont want me back but i will always want you back. you loved me from the very start, or at least that is what you have said. but the truth is things are easily said. but are they always true? do you rlly mean what you have just told me? i will never know, i will never find out. how i wish that you would be sitting at my doorstep when i got home. but theres no way that, that is ever going to happen.

i'm trying, i rlly am. im trying to figure out why you left and why it has to be so painful. i know you dont love me anymore. but no1 not even god can just stop loving some1. there has to be a reason, and no its not the answer of b/c. the answer is you never truly loved my you thought you did but you rlly didnt. i loved you with all my heart no matter what anybody said or thought i loved you. thats until you ripped my heart and tore it into pieces. god has looked down at this and feels very ashamed that you out of all the ppl would even think about doing this. god sheds a tear every time a heart is broken. i guess he sheds a tear every day b/c my heart hurts every day, and every night. you may think that your heart has been broken but not as many times as mine has. i dont believe that you have realized how much pain and suffering i have went through to continue on with my life.