Life in quarantine has been different. We've never lived this way before. Stores are shuttered. We grocery shop as infrequently as possible. We wear masks, many of which were made by an army of everyday people who pulled out their sewing machines and created for the common good. All learning has moved online. The thought of setting my alarm clock at 9:30 just to lay in bed every day for my first class. Suddenly falling asleep in between the warmth of my blankets between our lunch breaks and struggling to rise from the depth of my bed for the next hour long class. Thankfully, the internet can handle my household simultaneously working and learning from home, but many, I realize, don't have that luxury.

Shelter-in-place was supposed to be easy, but it was really monotonous. I honestly didn't want to turn into a lazy couch muncher, so I quickly found things to do. In the first few weeks, I stayed in my room and heard the blue jays chirp and chatter, which gave me some type of hope. I also spent more time watching movies to the point I memorized lines in films I've watched multiple times. I started to learn to cook new dishes. Lamb chops seasoned with salt, pepper, and a dash of cajun seasoning topped off with a garlic butter spread of my own. I was pleased when everyone liked my food. However, after a month, I could not maintain the same activities because repetition caused me to live my life in a continuous slouching position. So I decided to get serious with "gaming." I bought myself a gaming chair, new headsets and fixed myself a setup. It may seem so simple, but in the end I acquired a sleepiness from the process of rewiring and finding places to put things. Anyways, my hard work paid off, which meant I don't have to fix simple mistakes during the time of my gameplay sessions. 

For a few hours, I just wander around with the bareness of my feet caressing the softness within the carpet. I make hot chocolate, go on a walk, or attempt to paint my current mood in the form of a seasons breeze. Occasionally, I read and sometimes I could feel the horizontal motion of my eyes caused by prolonged reading, as I follow the levels of scripted lines. But all the time, in the back of my mind, I'm thinking about the things I could be doing: homework, playing games, or listening to soft and relaxing music. If I’m being honest, my productivity has taken a severe hit since we became quarantined. Usually, I'm very organized, but I'm having trouble adjusting to this new situation, even though we're months in. My ability to focus on schoolwork comes and goes in waves. Rather than do work, I spend hours refreshing and juggling between two different Apple Music playlists. For the last two years, who would've thought Covid-19 would be a thing. It was already bad enough when Ebola came to town. 

Opening my eyes and wiping off the glasses I place on my face to see a clear view, I log onto my school's online grade system. I can't remember what I've turned in and what I haven't, in a state of confusion, trying to wish myself the best of luck. I have no idea what's due. I don't even know what week we're in. Not only that, but I'm supposed to participate in an internship, but I'm constantly anxious about how all this will work. What's going to happen soon, and will more people catch the zombie disease? I've been fortunate that so far, no one I am close to has had a known case of the virus, but I'm waiting for that call that my parents or siblings are sick, or my friends (who are like family), or that I might get it.

The laundry isn't going to get folded; my essay will get haphazardly finished. The gaming CDs aren't getting put up. Social media tells me what I'm experiencing is normal. I've got a support system. I'm not alone in this, and yet I still can't finish anything. I can't sleep, and I find my ability to care about most things diminishing. Just like this story, everything feels incomplete. Like my homework, like the laundry, it's supposed to be expected; but really it isn't. 

Today is warm, like yesterday. Sometimes it is sunny, occasionally rainy, and sometimes I hear lawnmowers through the early morning or late at night over the hum of movies I watch. Spring is the month of rebirth, but I don't understand how the soil is expected to grow anything right now.

It's April 1st, and I know this because my little brother's birthday is today. Apparently, a virus, "by April, you know, in theory, when it gets a little warmer, it miraculously goes away." But in theory, it's April right now. And today is warm, and it hasn't gone away also. It doesn't really seem like spring. Time acts weird inside. And outside, there are masks everywhere. 

I believe in God, always have, and sometimes I wonder if it's because I need to or because I've been raised around a Christian environment. All the churches are closed, and God is still the man; everything goes out too. But right now, everything goes out to the person who is working, struggling, or is less fortunate than I am. All I can hope is that they feel even just a bit of warmth today. And I will be still, stay inside my house, and thank whoever that I am privileged enough to stay home. I am lucky enough to hear the birdsong and feel the warm air through my window for another day. Accepting the process of Covid has been trial and error, but the warmth of love from friends and family helped me push through.