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Unloved
Every human being is meant to be loved. The truth is, some of us never recive the love we need. I realized this five years ago when I fell in love with the worst person I could have possibly chosen. I realized it eight months ago, when who I was ended up dismissed as "just a phase."
Everyone deserves to have a soulmate. I can't remember exactly the first time it was that I liked another girl, and it's been too many years to try. I craved their attention as a very young child, too young to understand why I wanted them so badly, but the boys never attracted me much. I never understood the way I looked at them in middle school, faisinated by their long hair and soft skin. The next few years were hell as I tried to reconcile the idea of who I was becoming with who I had been. I know now that I can find my soulmate in another woman, despite what I once was so conflicted about.
Every parent needs to love their child unconditionally. As humans, we have dealbreakers in every realtionship. Love should not be a dealbreaker for love. I can no longer talk to my mother. I can no longer stand to touch my father. How can love destroy love?
Each one of us needs a best friend. You were my best friend fourteen years ago. You are my best friend now. But something changed in between. When did we start destroying ourselves to mask the pain of everything else? I try to fix the scars through emotional repression. You fight it with pills because you don't want to be constantly thinking like I am. How do I keep you alive without kiling myself?
I see it now. I am truly unlovable. That can be the only explaination for this. My friends cannot love me. My family cannot love me. I cannot even love myself. Every human being is meant to be loved. To find someone who will love you...that's the trouble.
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