There is a consensus among the American people that, nowadays, the outcome of many elections is crap.
According to several renowned-and-prestigious-sounding institutions this trend of lousy elections is becoming a serious issue for many Americans. The results of the surveys these institutions conducted are alarming and deserve an once-over by all reasonable people.
   

 FACT #1: Eighty percent of Americans complained that their opinions were not represented in local elections. Scientists originally thought this lack of representation might be connected to the fact that the same amount of people did not vote. It has since been proven that there is no discernable correlation between the two.
   

 FACT #2: Not everyone hates the results of these local elections. The outcomes drawn from these surveys present the terrifying conclusion that some voters out there actually LIKE these results. Surveys show that such voters also like Brussel sprouts and filing taxes.
           

FACT #3: Recent election results have been so awful in showing the wants of the people that a real estate tycoon and actors of the past can now dominate the nation’s most influential election. The scarier part is that some members of the American public actually WANT this to happen. These people represent a small, but vocal minority of wealthy or just stupid Americans.

So what can we do to get accurate representation in our election process?
           

For one, we can use our words to express our dissatisfaction with current election results. Kindergarten logic dictates that “using our words” to show how we feel is a better method than taking action against those that we don’t like. For example, sticking an axe through a pumpkin with the note “YOUR HEAD” and placing it on your nemesis’s doorstep is definitely a better method of attack than actually committing the dastardly deed. Inflicting emotional trauma is a much more effective method of getting the job done in both social and political situations. But expending our energy in devising such creative ways of using our words is hardly necessary. Using our words in loud complaint more efficiently generates change in the voting scene, and it requires little-to-no effort to get started! Sitting around and complaining eventually will bring the change that America has been begging to come around in some way or another, someday, hopefully, before all their descendants pass away in the inevitable explosion of the Sun.
     

This complaining method can also fix another facet of election problems- getting rid of real voters! Current elections are dictated by the twenty percent that actually show up, and obviously America doesn’t like the way they think. Getting up and voting is a waste of Americans’ precious time, so why not convince those that do vote to act the way that you do.  By complaining about how inefficient this nation is and how much you hate the way the country is run — perhaps leaving a threatening pumpkin on their doorstep to bring the point home — you can sway these delusional people into invoking some real change.
     

Americans at large are so tired of dealing with these election problems that it would be so much simpler to do away with the whole process altogether. Maybe the American people would be happier without the ability to vote. You know what kind of government system offers this great benefit? A dictatorship! Why not eliminate America’s voting issues by doing away with the process altogether? Elections are messy and voting in them is inconvenient, so why not create a nation without that choice? This way the American people don’t have to clean up this pesky voting mess; they can just have one person take care of the whole problem for them. You’re happy, I’m happy, the Great Leader is happy, and we can all just live in blissful ignorance of the issues around us. After all, the freedom to choose what happens in our nation is completely overrated.