Ten easy steps to the perfect manicure for all you people with NNS (nasty nail syndrome). Disclaimer: I don’t know how to do any cool designs or abstract nail art, so don’t ask me.

Step 1: Ready your hands
Wash you hands, c’mon people. Rid yourself from unwanted germs, dirt, and any old (probably chipped) nail polish. Nail polish remover can be found at any old drug store, and you can find so many types as well. Choose the one that smells the least chemical and strengthens your nails. When washing, be sure to use soap all over your hands; the cleaner the hands, the cleaner the manicure. And please, make sure you’re digging the dirt out of your nails.

Step 2: Moisturize.
This may sound repetitive considering you just washed your hands, but believe me, it’s a necessity.

Step 3: Preparing you nails.
Clip your nails to just the right length. This may vary from person to person, it’s really just personal preference. I would suggest filing your nails down after you clip them, to make sure that each nail is exactly the perfect length for you. When preparing your nails, you should buff them. Some people don’t see the necessity for this, but I believe it goes hand and hand with a strong nail. After buffing you should clip all of your hangnails and push back your cuticles. Don’t know what a cuticle is? The little skin at the top (or bottom) of your nail, depends on how you look at it. Now, I do this everyday, constant pushing back of my cuticles. I believe it’s really healthy for your nails in order to grow.

Step 4: Wash again.
You heard me right. Wash. Your. Hands. Again. Focus on your nails this time.

Step 5: Base Coat.
Pain you nails with a clear top coat. Now days, they have all different types of these; green tea strength (my favorite), regular growth base coat, high shine base coat (for those wanted a “natural” look), just about anything you can think of. Base coat doesn’t really matter how it looks because once it’s on, it’s clear and the only job of base coat is to protect your nails. Apply base coat with quick strokes, starting from your cuticle all the way down. Don’t worry, base coat CAN get on your fingers, no one will see it and you can wash it off afterwards. Don’t stress.

Step 6: Picking out the perfect polish.
Wow okay, nail polish. There’s so much of it. It’s so expensive. Where do I get the best kind? How do I know that this nail polish is going to be the best? Calm down people, it all starts with searching at the right place. I, for one, never buy nail polish online. I look for places where nail polish can be tested, usually most beauty supply stores have a tester lying around somewhere. Test the nail polish on one of you fingers with a few strokes. Make sure it doesn’t need 800 coats to look good, make sure it’s well-blended and doesn’t go on gloppy. Everyone has their own personal favorite brand of nail polish. Find the one that’s easiest for you to apply and stick with it. Any old beauty magazine shows the “popular colors”, so be mainstream and go with the trends, or find your perfect match. Reminder: you can never change your nail polish too much.

Step 7: Painting.
Now that you’ve got the perfect color, you’re ready for the big guns. First you should shake up your polish to make sure it’s all mixed properly. Getting the right amount of polish on your brush is essential; not too much, not too little. Make sure the whole brush is covered, but there’s not enough excess polish to drip. Just like painting with base coat, start at the top of your cuticle when painting with the polish. Although, this time, you should start at one end, right or left, and paint with slow, steady strokes from top to bottom until you’ve reached the other side. After doing one whole hand, give it time to dry. DO NOT GO ONTO THE NEXT HAND. I repeat: DO NOT GO ONTO THE NEXT HAND. Air dry your first hand before putting a second, and maybe third coat on. Once you have proceeded with letting your first hand air dry for about five minutes, repeat the process with your remaining hand.

Step 8: Drying.
This may be the easiest step for you, may be the hardest. All you need is patience. If you have a mini fan, get that sucker out. Stick both of your hands, spread apart evenly, in front of the fan, rotating occasionally. The first time you think your nails are dry, they’re probably not. Wait another five minutes. The problem with drying is that, the nail polish wont rub off easily, but an indention could be caused if you accidentally bump your nail into something. Wanna hear my trick? Lick your nail. If it tastes like nail polish (aka gross), you still need drying time.

Step 9: Top Coat.
If you’re asking yourself, ‘isn’t top coat the same as base coat?’ then you’re the whole reason why I wrote this essay. No people, top coat is NOT the same as base coat. Although both protect you, top coat is to protect the paint job, not your nail itself. And just like with base coat, there are several different types of top coat. Pick your favorite. High-gloss shine? Matte finish? Glow in the dark? The sky is the limit.

Step 10: Cleaning up.
After you have given your top coat a chance to dry, it’s time to clean up after yourself. I mean, yes, your supplies, but your hands as well. Not everyone can be perfect and get zero nail polish on their fingers. If (and when) this happens, dip a Q-Tip into nail polish remover and wipe around the edge of your nails.. carefully! After you are 100% positive your nails are dry, wash your hands one more time.

And there you have it; everything I know about maintaing a manicure. I hope you can now enjoy looking at your nails and show them off to everyone who once doubted you. This is a good skill to have, trust me! Do go into the world and share your new knowledge of beautiful nails. You’re welcome.