As I stepped out onto the morose atmosphere of my front lawn, an atmosphere of eeriness went through me. So I took a deep breath, and I felt instantly relaxed. I sat down on the front step of my porch, trying to look around for inspiration. The dusk of Halloween brings out the unsettling nature of outside. My neighbor’s decorations, dancing skeletons, humongous spiders, it all seemed wrong to me. I was brought up not to believe in any of it, all the witchcraft, haunting, and death parts of Halloween. “Harvest” is what my family called this time of year. I had to dress up as a farmer every year. So my thoughts turned towards this bubble of protection around me, my own lawn. This place, this familiarity, has been with me, and I with it for 16 years. Since birth, this has been the same place, a constant reminder of aggression, peace, or refuge depending on the day. So much has happened in here, and yet, I rarely have gone outside, especially in my front yard. Perhaps it is the social awkwardness of always being seen or judged. Or perhaps that I rarely seek aesthetic beauty outside of the bubble of my home, or deeper yet, my life. My whole life has been entirely composed of school, SATs, work. But what’s new? Isn’t this the same for everyone? We go about our lives working and working, trying to achieve that unattainable goal. What really is that goal? Wealth? Power? And once we’re there, what satisfaction is there? We enjoy life until we die, something inevitable to everyone. Then what? Is all our work for nothing?

My attention was disrupted when an ant started to nibble on my leg. I quickly flicked it off, sent it flying. My eye caught a dark line of moving bodies. An ant trail. My gaze followed it to its anthill. I leaned over, trying to get a clearer look at the hardworking maniacs. All I saw was a mad race for the tunnel, going in and out, back and forth. This is their life. Working and working towards that unattainable goal… sounds familiar doesn’t it? It reminded me of our society today and our unceasing desire for more. And more. When will we stop and “go outside” and realize that it’s not just about us? There’s so much more.
A soft breeze stopped me in my thoughts. The orange leaves rustled through the branches of my maple tree. I stood up and outstretched my arms. It felt good. The evening had dimmed out, I could now see the Halloween lights create an orangeish glow over my neighborhood. Or was it the sky? The red hue stretched over the horizon and into eternity, far beyond the reaches of human grasp. A twinkling point on the sky caught my gaze. A star. Billions and billions of miles away, it still shines its light to us, puny beings on earth. God is there. God is here. He gives us any chances we need. The opportunities are endless, all thanks to my God, the Giver of Life, the Beginning, the End, the Creator of everything I have been seeing and will see in nature. Throughout the hectic work schedule that a junior has to take on, I find refuge in my Savior, now and forevermore, for I will never die as long as my trust lies in Him.
A leaf flew into my lap, a brown, damp, dirty leaf. I turned it over to find a green side, full of life and potential opportunity. It reminded me of symbolically “turning over a new leaf”, a new start, a new outlook on an otherwise relentless world that we have made life to be. As long as my hope lies in my King, why should I ever worry?
We can learn from this in so many ways. We can choose to either conform to the model of the world, or step back and appreciate whatever we have and bring happy things into our lives while we go on. There is so much more after this life. Don’t stress yourselves over the things of this world.
“Trust in Him at all times you people;
Pour out your hearts to Him,
For God is our refuge.”
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Psalm 62 : 8