A Moment of Clarity
I've always had to say goodbye to the people in my life that meant something to me, but at some point I thought that would change. I never gave anybody the chance to hurt me because I always anticipated it ahead of time, so I'd often go through the motions of being in a relationship knowing that I didn't trust who I was with. Then, when it was over, I moved on to the next one with no problems. Then I decided to let my guard down because I figured maybe it was time to grow up and let someone in instead of keeping my guard up. Or maybe it was because I couldn't help but be in love from the moment we met. That smile made me believe in you, in us. No matter what happened between us all you had to do was smile and everything you had done would be forgiven. And even with all the stuff we've been through I still wanted to make it work because the thought of having someone in your place was unrealistic to me. No matter how hard it got, i was still willing to hold on because I knew you were it for me. But just like everything else, its done because you left me and went away. I have no choice but to let go because life made that choice for us. And I'm sitting here thinking "what about me?". I'm suffering the consequences of life's actions by myself. So I'm left by myself to pick up the pieces. But I'm tired of picking up the pieces. I don't even know if I have anything left to hold on to. I desperately want to disappear or maybe fall of the face of the earth...I still love you though & that’s forever. I miss you Granny.