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Surviving Is Not Loving
To the ones who survived today,
Living is easy. Surviving is excruciating. You survive everyday. You know what it feels like. You say that surviving is a constant battle with pain and grief. You say that surviving is like that old, rusted box occupying a small space in the most hidden corner of every house filled with fragments which never became a whole. You hid them because they remind you of broken dreams, never-ending sorrows, half-torn hearts, shattered souls, almost lost lives.
You survive daily watching your mother in tears because she doesn't have the money to fill your empty belly. You survive lying to your parents that you have found a new job. You survive on footpaths with your almost shattered dream of becoming an actor. You survive trying to quit alcohol everyday because you cannot see your wife getting embarrassed everytime you create a drama in public, failing at every other attempt. You survive being a victim of acid attack. You survive with a hole in your heart. You survive absorbing the death of your husband who got killed by two militants and the pain that came free with it. You survive with the last haunting memory of your son on his deathbed screaming with pain that cancer had given him.
You say that sometimes, you close your eyes and are unable to open them, not because you cannot see the harsh reality but because now, it even aches to open them.
I know it's been enough of surviving now. I know that your pain has become intolerable. Your battle is difficult but you cannot stop like this. Just a little more, just a few more 'todays', definitely you will open your eyes. One day, definitely you will stop surviving. One day, definitely you will start living.
Yours truely
Lavanya.
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