Me: Yep! I am. I say to my inquisitive listener.
Are you really? I nod my head yes.
Do you ever miss your real mom and dad? Well, I guess, I never really knew them.
So, are your new mom and dad nice to you? Of course! Oh…

This is the usual conversation once I finally let someone know my secret. That is exactly why. Yes, I am adopted. Yes, I really am. Yes, at times I miss being able to hear the story of how my father quickly rushed my mom to the hospital, how he panicked and began sweating through his shirt, how my family crowded the hospital the minute they could and how when my mother held me for the first time and knew she never wanted to let go. Yes, sometimes I don’t want to share that I don’t know the exact time of my birth, that I don’t know the actual date of my birthday and how I don’t know how much I look like my parents. Yes, sometimes I cry at night because I can’t stand the thought that my mother left me at a street corner. I can’t stand the thought that my parents might have been drug addicts and that they never got to know me and that I will never know if they are okay or not.

Other nights, I don’t cry. I pray a prayer of thanks to God. I pray because I have a story of how my parents saw my picture for the very first time, of how they jumped and leaped for joy when they heard they had a little girl, how all of my family gathered around the airport just to get a glimpse of their exotic baby and of how my adoptive mother always wanted to hold her daughter. I love to share that I was almost 2 when my parents finally got me, that the day was one of the happiest days of their lives and how so many people say I act so much like my mother. I always smile knowing some kind Chinese citizen cared enough to take me off the streets, I always smile when I think of how much I helped my parents learn from their mistakes if they made any, I always smile knowing they think of me in their hearts and I always smile thinking that they might have a wonderful and prosperous family by now.

Question: So, wait, who do you consider your family? Answer: both.

Question: Who do you love more then? Answer: I always reconsider and rethink my answer inside my head, but it always comes out the same-

I have, will and forever love both my birth family and my adoptive family the same, because withut them, I wouldn’t be me, I wouldn’t be; adopted.