Feedback on Dawn | Teen Ink

Feedback on Dawn

November 10, 2016
TheAnonymousPeanutButterProfile PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York
27 articles 89 photos 12 comments

Had I not run my eyes up to the top of the page, I would probably have never noticed the tiny poem placed on top of the page. It was a simple and straight-forward poem, titled “Dawn”, written by Sierra Ross R. At first glance, it is only a slight twist on a haiku – the only change to this short form of poetry being 6 syllables in the first line instead of 5. It describes dawn with the use of personification, and with even fewer words than I have in this sentence. Perhaps that it was makes it just another haiku. Or that is what gives it its beauty.
       

 It is difficult to express a meaningful idea in less than 20 syllables, even though it is relatively easy to write a haiku. This specific poem, though, succeeds in describing a universal experience through succinct and vivid word choice. Every part of it seemed to fall into place, and though the writer was limited by syllable count, they still created a clear image of dawn coming seeping “through inky fingers.” It was captured in a thoughtful and innocently simple manner – an account of a wondrous gift brought to humans with every day and yet often overlooked by many.



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