*About a year back*
I had always been what polite people called ‘healthy’ or ‘big’ but never really considered it to be any kind of problem. After all my parents always assured me that I was ‘big boned’ and it was ‘muscle weight’ and I was more than happy to believe them. This was until one summer break I went clothes shopping with a couple of friends and cousins. We returned from the mall, satisfied with our shopping haul and proceeded to carry out a new-cloth-trying session for the benefit of my family. We each took turns putting on clothes and showing off. It was all fun and games until my turn arrived. I put on my new dress and stepped out. There was a discreet murmuring and exchange of expressions I did not, at first, notice. Then when I realized that there was something going on, I asked them what the matter was. My best friend immediately jumped in to assure me that it was nothing. But after a couple of seconds one my friends finally spoke up, “That dress is not really for your body type...”,she remarked. Still clueless, I asked,“What do you mean?” She said,“Oh it’s just that, don’t you think before you wear that dress, you should lose some weight?” I was utterly taken aback.
Now this incident may not seem like much big of a deal to many, but to me it was and I had my reasons. Firstly, it immensely hurt me that people whom I considered to be my closest friends would even think let alone say something like that about me. Secondly, that was just the trigger to many following events. Since that day, the more I looked around, the more I realized that the world was full of thin, pretty girls and I was the fat and ugly exception. Moreover, social media, television and everyone else seemed to agree that to be beautiful, one has to be thin and thus began my obsession with being thin. Slowly I stopped eating and became obsessed with working out and counting calories. It wasn’t long before I started losing weight and it was not even a slow or healty process. I lost 25 pounds in the span of about 3 months. Now, things were getting out of hand. My parents were getting seriously worried and I was threatened to be sent to doctors and counselors if I did not eat. But now I couldn’t help it, I just could not eat. I soon became underweight and a target for a host of diseases. Though not officially diagnosed, I became anorexic.
*The present*
My condition has improved since and though I am still underweight, I have slowly started to eat and have become a lot better. I am still recovering and I have a message for everyone like me...
You are beautiful
No matter what
And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
Not even yourself