I was doing my regular morning routine getting my little brother dressed, going through his morning tantrums of not wanting to get out of bed, the kicking an scratching of my skin felt like fingers on a chalk board. But eventually he gave in because I pretend to cry like a baby that’s hungry. So we would wait on his bus and I would walk to school. Soon after school I walked home and noticed that half of my church was there. Immediately I remembered my mom had told us two weeks before that she was pregnant. So I just assumed she was telling everybody in the church or something bad had happened. But as soon as I walked in the house I felt an unusual and uncomfortable tension. Everybody was asking how my day was going and I was like “oh it’s just fine.”
I went back outside in search of my brother’s bus and it wasn’t there of course so I waited impatiently as usual. So then I took my brother in and put him in front of the TV with his cheese crackers, and juice. Then I walked to my room to try and start on some homework. Well I sat down for about ten minutes and in walks Hardi to my room. Its one of the women that goes to my church. She told me that my mama wanted to see me in her room.
So I went in there and I saw that my mama had been crying because she still had tear marks on her face so as she began to talk to me I remembered she had told us that my dad was going to be tested for cancer a while back. In my mind I was thinking “surely my dad doesn’t have cancer.” So of course I was just expecting it to be that he had a virus or something but then she opened her mouth and said that he had cancer and I was like huh? I was in shock I didn’t hear anything else it was like somebody had it on repeat playing that same sentence in my ear over and over again and I shedding some tears but them I remembered that my mama was pregnant.
I had to be strong for her so I left her room, I went to my room, and I began to cry and I was questioning God like how can you let that happen to a man of God and his family how can you do this to my mama. I brushed my tears and let the rosiness of my face go down and went to the bathroom to wipe my mascara from my face from it spreading from the tears and as I was walking out Hardi came and hugged me. I began to cry again and I could see my tears rolling off her shoulder. I again wiped my tears and went and did my homework and went to bed shortly after because from all the crying my body was exhausted.
So I awoke the next morning doing my normal routine. I didn’t speak to anyone and I went to school and I was crying for the very first time at school. So I cried in first hour I tried to stop but something wouldn’t let me I could hear my inner man crying out, screaming with desperation to relief to wake up from this horrible dream I thought I was having. I got a note to call hardi and me she was asking me if she needed to come and get me. She could hear the change in my voice and I was like “no I’m just upset a little ill be ok.” So then she went on to tell me how my mama was saying that my mom had talked to her that morning. She said I didn’t talk to her then hardi explained how my mother needed me. So I was like ok but that still didn’t change my state of mind not even God could help me I felt at that point I had entered a state of depression. I went on to second hour and I had cleared my tears up from the morning and I went in Mrs. Shore’s office and I began to tell her what was going on with my family and stuff and it was like she was like and Angel that God had sent to give me a message. So she began to tell me how her father had prostate cancer which is the exact same kind my father was suffering from and how he survived it even though the doctors said he had it for at least thirteen years before they had caught it in which they also claimed my father had it for nine years or more before they had caught and as you can tell im not to fond of doctors of hospitals in general.
So she told me that God wouldn’t let anything happen to my family and even though she didn’t know my father it was like God was speaking through her because she was saying how God takes care of his Sheppard’s and things like that and it was ironic because my dad is a pastors but I ended up singing that day and from that day forward I believe that me and Mrs. Shore had a strong bond and I sing now when I want to get things off my chest but some time had passed and both of my parents were on bed rest and just in case you didn’t know my mother wasn’t suppose to have Kids so Keenan was a miracle all in itself, and me and my other brother Kevin(Kj) were adopted. We know that it was just another test or hurdle that we had to overcome; both of my parents are fine now. My mother just had the baby on August 24, 2008 and he is healthy he wasn’t due till October but God just wanted him to be a blessing to this world a little earlier. I know now that the pain was only Preparation for our destiny, and all the plans that God has for me and my family. “It’s over now, its over now, I feel like I can make it the storm is over now.”
So from this experience I learned if you pray and believe well with my religion and the God I serve I know that now anything is possible. “I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). Also no matter what we go through we go through it for a reason that God doesn’t put anything on us that we can’t bare.