Fitting In | Teen Ink

Fitting In MAG

By MonicaMS BRONZE, Providence, Rhode Island
MonicaMS BRONZE, Providence, Rhode Island
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

I wouldn't ask for a dressing room. My mom always asked for me.
The evening before I had repeatedly risen from my seat and piled on excess noodles suffocated in meat sauce. Then I licked my bowl with the buttered garlic bread, leaving no evidence of the four servings I had inhaled. In the morning I would be forced to lie on my bed and suck in my stomach just to button my jeans. I dreaded school shopping. The sale rack, with its slender size markers, knew my number continued to bloat.

I learned how to eat from my dad: fast and without thinking. In our house, the dinner table involved battle, with the children on defense. One false move and our dinner would be snatched off our plates without warning and gobbled up by our father faster than we could blink. We soon learned to keep a hand up while devouring our chicken strips, and if Mom decided to cook that night we needed to hurry and get seconds before it was gone.

Only one pair of jeans I tried on fit. I lied and told my mother I could button every pair but only needed the jeans that lay guarded in my hands. We walked to the checkout.

I kept my head down as we passed a group of girls. They whispered. I glanced up only long enough to know my place. Their eyes cut at me, hands cupped over their mouths in secrecy.


The recess bell rang and I followed two girls in my third grade class out past the monkey bars to the fenced grassy area. We all wore the same clothes that year: khaki pants and polo shirts. Everyone was the same, or that was the idea.

“I like your pants. Where did you get them?” Marcy asked Alicia. I nodded in agreement, thankful they had removed their cupped hands and I could hear the conversation.

“Really? I like yours better,” Alicia replied.

“We should trade. What size are you?” Marcy asked.

“I don't know …” Alicia said, finding the tag in the back of her pants. “Seven.”

“Me too,” Marcy said.


I hid in line as I held the jeans, tag folded in so nobody could see the number inscribed on it was 12. I am not a size seven.

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This article has 348 comments.

JoeBiden said...
on Feb. 18 2021 at 11:27 am
JoeBiden, Washington, District Of Columbia
0 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
My fellow Americans, here's the deal!

Here's the deal.

-President Biden

on Jun. 26 2019 at 12:07 pm
Roxanna_Foxe SILVER, Anonymous, North Carolina
8 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." - Mark Twain

Your storytelling is spectacular! As someone who is born thicker, I (and a lot of other young women) understand what it's like to hide behind that curtain of shame. Keep it up.

on Dec. 6 2018 at 11:38 pm
_Emma_Lynn_ SILVER, Hemet, California
6 articles 7 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
When something bad happens, you have three choices: let it define you, let it destroy you, or let it strengthen you.

I know personally that being a bit thicker can be hard and stressful. But just remember: your size does not define you.

Ellea SILVER said...
on Oct. 31 2016 at 4:01 pm
Ellea SILVER, Touchet, Washington
5 articles 0 photos 16 comments
I can relate so much! Though I probably don't go through exactly the same struggles.

po0patin3 said...
on Oct. 1 2014 at 12:53 pm
po0patin3, Houston, Texas
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"when life's worth living, it's worth recording"


on Jun. 4 2014 at 2:34 pm
Caitibug SILVER, Powell, Tennessee
7 articles 0 photos 10 comments
Omg, this article is amazing! I can so relate.

on Apr. 21 2014 at 9:00 am
this is an amazing article it is written well and i know what you feel

on Mar. 8 2014 at 8:34 am
Lady.J.xoxo GOLD, Winston Salem, North Carolina
14 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"live your life, don't let life out live you"

Amazing! Definetly can relate 

. said...
on Jul. 23 2013 at 9:42 pm
This article was beautiful. And I have insecurities about my body too. Maybe not in the same way... but I understand what you are saying.

James6737 said...
on Apr. 30 2013 at 4:00 pm
Well I looked and looked and read and read this comment and I like it

on Apr. 26 2013 at 1:43 pm
Malorie PLATINUM, Des Moines, Iowa
22 articles 10 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
"So shines a good deed in a weary world."

Simpley amazing.

on Jan. 28 2013 at 2:38 pm
HiddengoldTee SILVER, Brooklyn, New York
7 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Procrastination was created to give you time for the things that you'd otherwise have no time for"

Beautiful story!

on Jan. 24 2013 at 5:23 pm
SunshineKarmaGirl, Weedsport, New York
0 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
If You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say, Don't Say It At All

You are very talented!! Check out my story You Know My Name Not My Story in the "Other" section

KaTie98 said...
on Sep. 26 2012 at 8:56 am
KaTie98, Reykjavík, Other
0 articles 0 photos 5 comments
First when I started reading your story, I got a bit bored and did not understand the point of it. But when you got to the point I started getting interested and when finally you got to the end it made the boring part worth it! You are a very good writer but what you need to work on is making the beginning more exciting :)

katie98 said...
on Sep. 19 2012 at 8:40 am
This is very well written and you give a good view of how the world really is! I don't think that it's a bad thing to use size 12 at all, it's actually normal. I didn't get a lot of the first paragraph though and didn't think you were getting to the point but when you got to the point it was really good! You are a good writer. 

on Aug. 22 2012 at 10:49 am
MadamMercy BRONZE, Atlanta, Georgia
2 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
my motto is to keep moving

i do feel that you are right people only think of what size you have to be to fit in well their shallow and its stupid you can be whatever size you want as long as you think that you are beutiful inside and out. people should judge you on  who you are on the inside not on the outside and even though you dont like them does not mean you dont have to respect them!

on May. 26 2012 at 9:43 am
Plethora BRONZE, Austin, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 3 comments
I love how your piece makes a point without blantantly stating it. Well done!

on Mar. 16 2012 at 9:21 am
Black_Tiara BRONZE, Navi Mumbai, Other
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments
Really nice.... But dont worry... Be nice to people & don't giv a damn bout wat they say.... eventually ppl will realise your worth... cuz ppl don care bout anythin but personality... atleast dats wat i do... n i luv d way u write :) keep smiling!

LaraMei GOLD said...
on Jan. 18 2012 at 9:35 pm
LaraMei GOLD, Commack, New York
19 articles 1 photo 3 comments
this continues to be one of my favorite pieces ever =]

dotn_me BRONZE said...
on Dec. 23 2011 at 3:42 pm
dotn_me BRONZE, Camarillo, California
2 articles 0 photos 23 comments
this was awesome, and like the majority of other comments said, it does give a very open perspective on the struggle with weight that many many people face :)