When you do something bad all you can focus on is that one thing
It stays in your mind and never goes away
It hurts and pounds
It screams and kicks
Sometimes you hide it and allow it to destroy you from the inside out
And sometimes you let it all out; you mess it all up
Sometimes a hidden emotion is revealed in a single stupid action and that action changes everything
Suddenly waking up has a different meaning
And falling asleep hold a secret desire; a hope, a prayer that everything will disappear
And if it must return it will reappear as it was before and not as it really is
Although we know that time can never be rewound we wish it could be so we can avoid facing our harsh and painful realities
You wait for the pain to go away all the while knowing it never will
You try to cut it out of your body and let it drip away but it always comes back
It hits you harder at certain moments and hurts so badly you feel like you can't breathe
You allow yourself to forget your normal healthy desires and go days without eating and nights without sleeping
Until someone realizes that you need help...until you finally realize that you need help.