School can be hard on you. When I was at British International School in 2020, I was battling anxiety and depression. During November and December, I started being bullied by people I considered my friends. At the time I did not realize what they were doing. But after winter break when I came back it got much worse. I was being harassed for my sexuality and many other things that I already thought were bad about me.  

During February I started not being able to go to school. I started staying home every day and even my parents didn’t know what was wrong with me. The first week I did not go to school I had a panic attack, and I was terrified as I never had one before. I began thinking that I was an outcast, and I didn’t know what to do anymore.  

Eventually, my depression and panic attacks got worse. My mom would get fed up and tell me I wasn’t trying hard enough until one day I also got fed up and screamed back at her saying,  
"Mom I am trying. I'm trying every day to not kill myself. I'm trying to go to school but it's like my body is physically stopping me. I'm ready to throw up at any given moment and can't get up no matter how hard I try.” My mom didn’t want to believe anything I said so she got up and left to go to work. When she came home, she was more sympathetic, but I asked her; 

"Mom, why did you completely ignore what I said? I told you I wanted to kill myself and you didn’t even bother to care.”  

“Honey I'm sorry I didn’t know. I thought that you were saying it out of spite.” “No mom I wasn’t but even if I was why did you not care.”  

After that, I began going to a therapist. I didn’t like talking to her because no matter what I said she would tell my mom even if it was confidential. Now I realize based off of things I would say to her it might have been best to tell my mom so she could help me but then I didn’t realize that then. 

I changed therapists about 3 times until I ended up with the one I have now. I changed schools and came here to TIS. The biggest thing I realized while being at this school was that missing out on school because of anxiety was making my anxiety worse.  

Almost all high school students have a kind of problem with their mental health even if they can't understand it or accept that fact. Going into high school with mental health issues has a big toll on you and how you continue. Some students thrive because they need academic validation, others, however, can do worse. In my case, I did and am doing worse.  

Learning to accept the fact that I had a problem and was willing to do something to help myself is how I was able to change schools to one that better fits me and talk to someone about my problems instead of bottling them up.  

By realizing that you are not alone and that there are ways to help yourself if you put in enough effort, you can make things like anxiety, school-related depression, and other things much smaller.