The Kissing Disease | Teen Ink

The Kissing Disease

November 7, 2019
By Anonymous

At the start of my sophomore year in high school, I was diagnosed with mononucleosis, better known as the kissing disease. It all started when I got home from school on a Friday. I was exhausted from multiple soccer games and volleyball practice. Staying in to take a nap sounded like a good idea. Well… once I drifted off into a deep, heavenly sleep, I was alarmingly shaken by my mother. When I opened my eyes, she let out a relieving "Thank goodness! I thought you were dead!!" Apparently, I had been asleep for the past twenty-two hours and hadn't moved a muscle, not even when my mother had been screaming my name from down the stairs. What can I say!? I was tired… geez, kids can’t catch a break these days. Well, my mom flipped, and within the week I had multiple doctor appointments scheduled to figure out what was wrong with me.
"How can we help you today? What's the problem?"
"My mom thinks something's wrong with me."
"Why is that?"
"Because I slept for a straight 22 hours."
"Yep. That would be a problem."
For the next couple hours, I became the doctors’ human pin cushion. Seriously, it was the worst. If I wanted to be poked this much, I would have become a drug addict. I didn't even think it was possible for a person to be living after that much blood was taken out of them.
The results came a couple weeks later. My mom and I sat down with the doctor.
"Well, you've got mono,” he said.
"WHAT? I HAVEN'T EVEN KISSED ANYONE…recently."
The doctor chuckled and explained that I didn't need to kiss anyone to catch it. I guess there's something called EBV (or Epstein-Barr Virus if you want to sound smarter) floating around in my system. And despite very slim odds, it decided to turn itself into mono. But seriously, the odds are so slim. They say that EBV turning into mono is less likely than catching the common cold. Well, let me tell you something- I NEVER catch colds. So tell me, why the heck am I sitting here with mononucleosis? Of course, I was frustrated, but little did I know, being sick would definitely have its perks. Besides the monthly checkups to make sure my spleen hadn't burst and having to sit out from practice and feeling like I was going to fall asleep the majority of the day, having mono was kind of the best. Why? Because guess what the only treatment is: Sleep.
For the next six months, I was about as useful as a hibernating bear. It was awesome. When my mom asked if someone could do the dishes, my body would be "too tired" and I'd "have" to take a nap. So if you're looking to get out of chores for a while, I highly recommend catching mononucleosis (feel free to give me a kiss).
Overall having mono sucked, but I was able to learn a lot of important things along the way. Up until that point, sports were my life. So when mono kicked me out for six months, I had to find other things to do. These things are called books. Turns out they’re not so bad. Also, I found out I’m even better at Wii sports than real sports. I set every record for Wii baseball and tennis. And to make things even better, I did this all from my living room couch. The day Wii sports make an appearance in the Olympics, I’ll be first in line for tryouts.
The next thing I learned was that we all have moments in life that just suck. And I had to learn that that’s okay. Having a positive outlook on bad situations definitely doesn’t fix everything, but it can make them a little easier to bear. Instead of looking at my time with mono as six months of hell, I looked at it as a six-month relaxation vacation and probably slept more hours than I was awake. My brother was sure jealous of my luxury cruise on the couch while he spent his time as room service cleaning up after me because I was “too sick.” Take what you can get and roll with it.
Although I would never deliberately go back to the days when I had mononucleosis (even though I’d kill for an excused nap sometimes), it’s our struggles that teach us and make us a little stronger. The doctors told me that once mono was in my system, it could come back whenever it wanted. Hopefully when that day comes… instead of drowning myself in a puddle of my own tears, I’ll be able to take my own advice, hop on the cruise ship once again, and continue to happily navigate through the seas of life, as should we all.


The author's comments:

This piece is based on a true story that took place while I was a high school student. During this time it was really hard not to be frustrated and angry at the situation, but through this piece I was able to have a more positive and humorous outlook on the situation, which I encourage all to have when faced with challenging situations. 


Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 0 comments.