Mean girls- you’ve seen them in films, you’ve heard songs written about them on the radio, and chances are you’ve either been victimized by one, been a bystander of one of their attacks, or had the title of “Mean Girl” yourself. These are the girls who tear down others with every chance they get, the young women who step all over everyone to get to the top. Whatever stands in the way of their prize, they will destroy. A mean girl’s weapons consist of vicious words, harmful lies, and backstabbing actions. Jealousy and emptiness flows through their veins, overpowering them. Unfortunately, they often prey on females that don’t quite “fit in”, or don’t meet their so called “standards.” Inaccurate stereotypes of popularity are used to determine who the social insiders and outsiders are. Using social media to cyberbully, these girls attack others online, using their words to cause harm and bring pain. These ladies often don’t have the right role models to look after, not realizing that if they weren’t so cruel, they could be role models themselves. Frankly, girls are just too mean to each other.
Perfect skin, a thin yet developed body type, luscious hair, blinding white teeth, an expensive car, name brand clothes, a popular boyfriend with the same physical characteristics, and a clique; these are the stereotypical traits of a popular girl. Ironically, their often the same characteristics portrayed by the well-known mean girl. Popularity too often coincides with “desirable” feminine traits, materialism, and status symbols. If a girl dares to be different or is missing any of these attributes, she is automatically labeled as odd or unpopular and is often the target of cruel jokes. But, if that same girl just so happens to meet the popular girl standards, she will be pushed off the ladder by her fellow clique members, as it is a battle trying to reach the top. Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees and Wannabes, tells the story of a ninth-grade girl who feared for her life. She had a crush on a boy at her school, and it turned from cute to criminal in an instant. The girl began receiving anonymous text messages from girls at another school threatening to physically harm her unless she stopped liking the boy. Julia Taylor, another school counselor and author, remembers a girl terrorized by a clique of girls she thought were her friends. Knowing her allergies to peanut products, the girls shoved crumbled-up peanut butter cookies in her face and asked her to smell them. When her mother took action and made a fuss about it to the school, the administrator's reaction defended the bullies, replying "Oh, they probably didn't know she was allergic." Wiseman describes cliques as a life raft for adolescent girls, because they are self-reinforcing. She writes "As soon as you define your role and group, you perceive others as outsiders. It's harder to put yourself in their shoes, and it's therefore easier to be cruel to them or watch and do nothing."
Social media has because widely prominent in the lives of teenage girls, and many of them are using these sites to cyberbully others. Technology nowadays has made it easier than ever to reach out to someone, and behind a computer or phone screen, many nasty things can be written to one another. Rumors and gossip can be spread like wildfire with one simple text or status update. Face-to-face conflict is a lot more intimidating than screen-to-screen, which is why many girls choose to torment through social networking. In fact, 81% of young adults feel that bullying online is easier to get away with than bullying in person. Females are about twice as likely as males to be victims and perpetrators of cyber bullying. One click, and girls can ruin each other’s lives.
So why do these girls behave the way that they do? Why do they torment others and act aggressively towards those around them? It’s because the role models to these mean girls aren’t exactly doing a considerable job mentoring them. Teenagers nowadays are looking towards immoral media and it’s no surprise they are with the countless provocative TV shows broadcasting and suggestive music available to them. Shows like 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom are glamourizing pre-marital sex and pregnancy, causing girls to believe this behavior can land them their own television program. Keeping Up With The Kardashians sets an example to girls stating that pounds of makeup, plastic surgery, and scandalous drama will give them the title of praiseworthy. Joan Rivers on Fashion Police communicates to young girls that taunting others based on their physical appearance is acceptable and just “fun and games”. Music nowadays is encouraging youngsters to smoke weed, get drunk, look lustfully at the opposite sex, disobey the law, and not care about anyone but themselves. The next generation is growing up with and admiring celebrities who condone all sorts of disorderly conduct. From Miley Cyrus parading around in her improper wardrobe of little to almost no clothes and coaxing teens to puff on marijuana until they’re high to Justin Bieber crooning his disrespectful songs towards women and their body images, participating in brawls, showing violence towards random strangers, and frequently having brushes with the law- it is definitely no wonder that our youth is lost. So how does this tie in with mean girls? With all the pressure on these young ladies to be perfect, they are forced to shed their shy, innocent personas and trade them in for a wild, rambunctious image. They are persuaded to “let loose” and their focus on education, building healthy relationships, and growing in Christ is put on the back burner while they begin to concentrate on their physical appearance, newfound enemies, and rank of popularity. Girls become so absorbed in the fight to be accepted, they will do whatever is called for, even if it means bullying others so harshly that it leads to the victim’s death. Additionally, mothers don’t often realize this, but their own conversations at home can transfer to their daughters. A girl can quickly pick up on her mom bashing her coworker’s outfit or making fun of the mail lady’s weight. She can then take this behavior with her to school or church and not feel guilty about poking fun at someone’s new hairstyle because her mother performed those actions last night over dinner. How can a girl be a healthy mentor to someone else when she does not have her own suitable adviser?
Stereotypes, technology, media, celebrities, and sometimes even personal home lives teach young woman of this age that it is acceptable and desirable to be a mean girl by presenting to them that it is the only way they’ll ever be important in this world. The time has come for us ladies to put out the mean girl flame by connecting with one another, despite false stereotypes and the thirst for popularity. Girls need to stop using words to harm each other and start using them to heal. Social networking needs to be used to make someone’s day, not ruin their life. Celebrities’ dishonorable choices and media’s deception cannot mentor us. We must seek God’s plan for our lives, He is our perfect role model and will always lead us down the right path. With Christ as our mentor, we can reflect his light and become role models ourselves. Bookworms and beauty queens, social butterflies and wallflowers- together we can make a difference. Women, young and old, let’s leave this world a better place than we found it.