I shouldn’t wear that I look fat. Maybe I should put some makeup on. What if people think I look ugly?

These thoughts were constantly running through my mind. Always worrying about other people’s opinions. Always hating myself for not living up to the high expectations our society sets for teenage girls. The never-ending self-criticism was flooding my mind daily. I had to swim away. 

Although it may not seem like it, over the past few years I struggled greatly with my self-confidence. If you asked my friends, they would describe me as a tough person who doesn’t care what others think. Which couldn’t be farther from the truth. I became pretty good at putting a smile on my face and acting like I wasn’t scared of being judged by others. But in reality, I was extremely insecure. Social media played a big role in continuously making me have unrealistic expectations for myself. I felt if I didn’t look like all the beautiful social media influencers, I wasn’t good enough. 

It was important for me to get out of that negative mindset and start focusing on feeling good rather than looking good. I began to surround myself with good people and cut toxic friends out of my life. I also started journaling which was a great way for me to express my emotions because it’s hard for me to open up to someone by talking. I started to look at each “flaw” of myself as beautiful. And rather than tearing myself down, I would try to think positive thoughts about myself. Over time I learned that beauty is only skin deep and the only important thing is how you treat others, and especially how you treat yourself. 

Although loving myself is still something I’m working on every day, my mental health has become way more positive. It was important for me to swim away from the negativity flooding my mind.