I loved looking back at the pictures that captured the memories from my days in college. I always planned on staying in my hometown of Flagstaff Arizona, after all that's where I grew up and went to college. “Hey babe come look at these pictures from NAU.” I yelled to my boyfriend of four years, who was helping unpack boxes into their new home. “How About you come help unpack Jill?!” Derek replied in a frustrated tone. I got up and walked over to the nearest boxes.

“Things had been a little rocky between us lately, but we’ve dated for four years we can get past anything! Besides this new and exciting step in our relationship will teach us a lot about each other, and I love- “Babe! Could you unpack any slower?! I thought we wanted to get this all done today!” Derek said in an upset tone, interrupting my thoughts. Not knowing what exactly to say since I didn't want to make things any worse, I just looked up to him with my facial expression as if to say “really dude”. He walked outside to grab more boxes to bring inside.
It finally started to get dim inside the house, I looked up at the time, it was 7 o’clock. “Hey want to order a pizza?” I asked him. “Yeah that sounds good, you're paying right?” “Uh, yeah I guess I can.” I answered.
Dinner was quiet and fast, neither of us felt like talking because nothing we seemed to say went without one of us getting frustrated. I washed the dishes and decided to go shower. I turned the water on the handle creaking as it turned. It was quiet in the bathroom when I realized going to reach for my shampoo that I left the conditioner by the sink. Rolling my eyes at myself I pulled aside the curtain then, startled I gasped and threw myself against the back wall of the shower. “Sorry baby, I didn't mean to scare you.” Derek said not taking his eyes off of his phone. “It’s okay, I just didn't realize you were in here, could you pass me the conditioner?” He passed it to me still staring at his phone. I pulled the curtain shut, then asked “interesting stuff on facebook or what?” I waited, there was no reply. I peeked out and he had left. “How was that man so quiet?” I thought to myself.
In the morning I woke up to the sound of his phone ringing, and the creaks of the floorboards as he walked out of the room into the hallway. I sat their silently trying to listen to him, all I could make out was the words “Okay I’ll be there today.” He walked back into the room and laid his phone down on the nightstand before grabbing clean clothes and going into the bathroom. When I heard the squeak of the handle turn and the shower turn on I sat up. His phone started to ring again, I looked to see who it was and the name said “Joe.” I never had known him to have a friend named Joe, not sure of what exactly to do, I answered it.. I just sat there with the phone up to my ear not saying a word, I froze. It was a womans voice on the other end just repeatedly saying “Hello? Babe? Hello?” Feeling hot I quickly hung up the phone and put it back where it was.  I sat there is disbelief, all I knew is that in this moment I didn't want to be here in the home with the man I loved and who I thought loved me too. So many questions crossed my mind like who was she? Did I know her? How long had they been talking? Was she the only girl he was talking to? I knew I was bright red I could feel the fury consuming me. I heard the shower turn off and the creak of the floor as he walked back in, the creaking had become very annoying to me. He came into the bedroom and leaned over to me with his lips puckered. I leaned the opposite way just looking up at him. Although I was feeling angry as ever I now started to feel sad. Tears started to pour down my face faster than ever. “Baby whats wrong? Are you alright?” He looked at me with big eyes. I knew there was no way he really cared, not if he was cheating. It seemed impossible for me to get any words out. But with all my strength I managed out in reply “I know who “Joe” is. Get out of my house, get all of your things, and be out completely by noon.” Now he was the one who was bright red. I left the house and decided to go to my family's home, It only took ten minutes to drive there.
For  the next three hours I cried and I yelled, so confused and upset. My parents did their best to comfort me, but I knew only time would heal me the best.
Arriving home I saw Derek's car still parked outside, but it had all his stuff in it. When I opened the door he stood there in tears begging for my forgiveness “You don't understand Jill, you have to listen to me I can fix this!” He yelled. “Nothing you say or do can fix this, how do you tell someone you love them everyday, and make them believe you are faithful, when you're not?!” “He now stood closer to me and said “I do love you!” and he grabbed my face tightly with his sweaty hand. Now I was scared. Never had he been physical when we fought. I opened the the door and told him to leave, locking the door behind him.
In the following few days I got endless amounts of texts and phone calls from him, I never replied that would be foolish. I went to Verizon and got a new number to relieve myself of his words. Next it was flowers and letter on my doorstep. Although I was tempted to read the letters I threw them in a drawer incase I needed to use them as evidence to file a restraining order. It was scary having him come to my home every morning to leave letters.
Trying to put that past me I decided to walk over to me neighbors house to finally meet them. Walking over to her home I saw something move out of the corner of my eye, I thought it was his jeep, but I wasn't sure. Running around the corner to see, I saw it was him speeding down the street. So now he’s sitting outside my house watching me? Sick to my stomach, I turned back towards my house.
I decided to just stay in and watch movies. The living room walls started to dim, I shut off the television and went into my bedroom. Although I was awake with a million thoughts I knew my body was exhausted from all of the drama. My eyes shut and I was warm with comfort finally.
I woke up to the sound of something creaking, I figured it was just the wind against the old small house, I fell back asleep. I woke up to more creaking, now I was a little worried, so I laid in bed with my eyes wide open. Reflecting from the moon light I saw my bedroom door move the slightest bit, I wanted to believe it was the breeze from my open windows, but no windows were open. There he was, peeking in through my door, the face that whispered “If I can't have you, no one can.”