Hearing voices in my head, screaming for help, others just screaming not knowing what to do I took my life, a simple death. Roaming the world like a lost cause. I soon figured out that I was a spirit. Only few can see me or hear me. Seeing others alive lacking life wanting to end it but something or someone giving them hope. I see them and I notice i’m the one lacking life i’m the one who killed myself so I shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover.

I’ve been like this for a week feeling hopeless trying to communicate but no one sees me or hears me. I feel empty like I should have stayed and lived a better life. She was trying to help I should have taken her advice. I saw her and she looked horrible her eyes were red because of all the crying. I noticed she was lacking life and it made me worry. One day she went to the roof,  she was standing on the edge about to jump. I don’t know what happened I grabbed her arm and I was suddenly visible to her. she collapsed on the floor just crying asking questions.
It’s been a month and she is starting to believe it was all a dream and I would rather keep it that way. I’m starting to feel bad again feeling hollow because when I was alive I knew I could lose something and that was my life. But now I got nothing to give up. It’s depressing seeing my loved ones live their life but knowing they will someday forget me made me feel better. Seeing this I thought I was ready to leave this world but the more I attempted it the more it seemed like it was impossible to.
I’ve been roaming this world for sometime now I lost track because I don’t have to sleep. I’ve  seen people be killed and I saw how the spirit leaves the body and the soul dies. I’ve learned just to give up and face my destiny that awaits me. But there’s nothing to look forward too, it was all pointless. I’ve gone to the place that attracts me the most  an old house. I started having flashbacks. They hurt my head. I wanted to know why so I got closer to the home. A light lit on my chest as I was getting closer. The light started growing bigger and bigger until my life flashed before my eyes and I was reliving my most cherished memories. I felt free, I felt at home.

When that was over I could not resist the urge to cry so I fell on my knees and with my hands on my face I cried. Until I heard a loud noise  coming from the house there was a door with my name on it. I did not want to open the door because I wanted to stay in this world now to see the people I love live their life and stand by them. The door was so bright and so I opend it out of curiosity and a big flash burst out the door. I woke up I know i’m awake but I can’t see anything it’s dark. I’m so confused not knowing what to do I scream as loud I can but no one hears me.
I started thinking about my life but I was very young when I took my life so I can’t say I had a wonderful life. So then I was thinking of who was the person or thing that made me not kill myself sooner. And so I was thinking for so long then I realized it was her we both held each other down but I guess I couldn’t take it anymore. I must have made her go through hell it makes me feel horrible knowing I made her go through a lot and realizing I did on her birthday March, 30th she was turning 15. I wish i was with her instead of doing something stupid but it’s too late for that. I used all my strength to leave where I was and it was just a box I don’t know how I got there and I don’t want to know either.

I saw her one morning so I used the trick I learned. I showed myself and I said I was sorry for what I made her go through and how much she meant to me. She just looked at me her eyes full of tears and asked “Why” her eyes were so beautiful I remember looking into her eyes. Right there I just told her “ I don’t know” I hugged her and then I had to leave because looking at her made me realize what I have lost and how I made one of the biggest mistake of letting go and so I said “Goodbye.”