The Dream was recurring and frightening to say the least. I’ve been seeing my therapist daily now. He said it looks like I’m improving which is a good sign. It has been seven months since the shooting, and seven months since I lost my best friend. I think about ‘that day’ all the time. I think about what I could have done to help, and I ask myself “why me”? Why would I be the only one who made it out not only alive but without a single scratch?
There were 32 people dressed in their best attire, ready to work that warm Thursday morning. Nobody ever suspected that 31 of them wouldn’t be coming home to their families who happened to be awaiting their arrival, eagerly. I had been working there for about 6 months. In the meantime, I had met so many new people and also had made a best friend. I loved working there. Even though I may have sat in a bare and boring cubicle all day, we somehow made the best of it.
No one ever suspected anything was wrong. It all started out as a normal morning. Phil, as usual, said hi to me as I passed his desk, and Janet, our secretary, gave me a piece of my favorite candy for the 20 foot commute to my desk, and when I got there I had began to work.
It was nearing lunch-time. My friend, Grace, and I went to the downstairs cafe everyday for lunch and today was no different. The lunch buzzer rang, I went to Grace’s desk but she wasn't there. I was confused because she usually waits for me so I had just figured that she had probably already went to the downstairs to the cafe and was saving us a table. So then I was on my way. Before I made my way down I stopped at the ladies room to fix my hair and makeup.
I was beginning to open the door to exit the restroom, that's when I heard the most high pitched scream I’ve ever heard. I heard familiar voices crying for help, praying for mercy. But I didn't know why. I began to pull the door open, to check and make sure nothing crazy was going on. I heard a loud noise that felt as it had deafened me for a minute. In the moment of total silence That's when it all sunk in, those loud noises are gunshots and all of those cries and screams are my friends in danger. I panicked . I cried and then I hyperventilated. I couldn't handle the pressure and I was so scared. I begin to think of a plan in my mind, I quickly stood up and locked the door, I stepped back and sighed in relief.
I was sitting for about two minutes when someone began to pound on the door, “Open up… Please help me”. It was a girl, and the voice sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. The girl started to  scream again but this time she was not screaming for me to open the door. You can barely understand her mumbled words through her sobbing. I'm listening thinking about everyone in the office trying to figure out who this mystery girl is. “I know who this is, it's Grace”, I thought to myself. The loud gunshots returned and then I heard the loud thump of her lifeless body falling to the ground following.
I sobbed, Grace was one of my only friends and now she was gone. So many thoughts were going through my mind at that time. I didn't know what to do and I didn't  think I could ever forgive myself, I thought about it and maybe if I had opened the door just a fraction of a second sooner when she was still alive and breathing, before the shooter came she was alive and I could have helped her, maybe she would still be here. Maybe I wouldn't have to be thinking about this.
I stopped crying and I stopped listening to the voices in my head, that's when I realized it was silent. There was not a single sound in the building. No talking, no footsteps, and no gunshots.