January 30th,

I could feel things were becoming different. I was aware my husband wasn’t quite himself anymore. But why and how?

We woke up as usual this morning. A good morning kiss followed by going downstairs to start the coffee. We sat at the island in our kitchen and chatted a bit about what we had to do today. I then went upstairs got dressed for work, grabbed my purse, and gave my husband our routine goodbye kiss then I was off.
Short day at work for me today. But even the busiest days at the post office are never too overwhelming. I was excited though, because I could finally cook dinner for my husband tonight.
Before arriving home, I had stopped at the store to get pork chops, salad, and wine. But oddly, enough when I had got home, my husband hadn’t arrived yet. Which he always gets off work before me and if i’m lucky I come home to dinner made.
In his absence, I begin dinner myself. I wait for him to arrive but he didn’t show up for an hour after dinner was made, and the food was getting cold. So I decided to make myself a plate and put it in the microwave. I set the table for one and begin my meal.
As I’m eating I hear the my husband’s car pull up. He slams the door behind him and greets me with a “who the heck do you think you are?” At this moment I’m so confused as to what I had done wrong. After, he turns around, giving me no acknowledgement and continues upstairs.
I tidy up the downstairs and head to get ready for bed.
The steam coming from my husband’s shower floods our room. I grab my pajamas and open the door only to get a slap in the face and “Are you dumb? Do you not know how to knock? Get out.”
I deicide to listen. Partially because I’m in shock and also because I fear what might happen if I don’t comply. 
Lying in bed with fear over my shoulder. I feel him crawl into bed and face away from me. I can feel my face throbbing and I want to cry but I slowly close my eyes and try to fall asleep.

Nearing the AM hours, I feel his side of the bed lift and I hear him quietly creep out of the room and down the stairs. With this being highly unusual of him, I wait until he is all the way out the front door then dart for my keys and follow him.
My mind is clustered with thoughts about where he is going all the way to questioning myself if I’m crazy or not.
Just as I make the decision to turn around, I see him turn into a lot and go behind a alleyway. I park far away and walk down to where I believe he had went. I was only a few seconds behind him. But seeing what I had seen at that moment made me realize that even a few seconds can change everything. As I approach the turn to the alleyway I see my husband stabbing young man repeatedly. I couldn't make out the man's face.
I look back down and meet eyes with him. He takes a knife out of the young man's lifeless body very slowly then he stands up and begins to charge at me. I see a spark flash right before me. I realize that I was so dazed that I failed to hear all the cops behind me, nor the one that tazed my husband. He falls down and shakes. I watch as they handcuffed him and read him his rights.

After being questioned, I took one last glance at my husband in the back of the cop car. But I had realized that was no longer my husband in there after being questioned I took one last glance at my husband in the back of that cop car. But I had realized that was no longer my husband in that car.

March 3rd,

It's been about a month since I've seen, let alone spoken to my husband. I've gotten calls the from prison. But I hang up right as I hear “the inmate “John” is trying to..”. I can't speak for him. I don't even know who he is anymore.“ His final court hearing is today. In five minutes actually. I'm sitting outside terrified to see him. But I need to be there, and I know that I have to. As I finally get the courage, I pull open the court doors and sit near the very back, trying to avoid eye contact with everyone as if they know who I am. The judge orders everyone quiet and proceeds.

“How do you plead against the 1st degree murder charge Jonathan Nicholas Jackson?”
“Not guilty” he mumbles.

I then here next to me a quiet whimper, and see tears from the young lady next to me. I then see what looks to be a promise ring on her finger. It looked so familiar, yet I couldn't quite figure out where the deja by was coming from. Then it hit me, I pieces two and two together and realized that the girlfriend/wife of the man my husband killed was sitting right next to me.

I was petrified.

“The jury has come to their decision. What is your verdict?” the judges says.
“We find the defendant guilty of all charges”

The judge sentences John to life without parole. As they are handcuffing him and taking him away, we meet eyes for the last time. He mouths something to me.

“You're next”

June 15th,

“You’re next”

That still haunts me. But I feel safe knowing he's in prison and not getting out.
Actually I've met a guy named Kevin. We met I was out getting dinner. We grab coffee and since then we had been chatting often. We have a date tonight as well we're meeting at seven at a really fancy restaurant. I'm excited, I really needed this.

7:15 pm

I'm lame. I just kept hearing my husband and felt this was wrong of me.
As the waiter shows me to my table I keep having flashbacks of the alleyway. Although I'm a mess I pull myself together and paste a smile on for Kevin. On our date we laugh, eat, smile, and connect. Nearing the end of our date Kevin ask me, “How long have you lived in this area?”
I pause. How does he know I live over here? I told him that's why I was late. Because I live far.

“Not too long. A month I’d say” I lied.

Maybe he passed me while I was pulling out? I live awfully close on the main road. I keep giving  myself explanations.

After my response he changes the subject. We had small talk then hugged goodbye. I went home, making sure he left after him.

Once I got home I thought I do my research on this guy. Maybe he's a stalker and has been charged before? I look him up but only to find the most terrifying thing I could.
He just got out of prison.

The one my husband is in. I freak out. At that exact moment I get a call. I flinch. It's Kevin. I ponder if he’s watching me but I answer very uneasily.

“Hello?” I say.
“Just wanted to thank you for tonight and maybe we could see each other tomorrow?” he says.
“What did you have in mind?”
“Coffee?” he suggest.
“Ok” is all I can say.
“I’ll pick you up around 6.”
“Ok, i’ll send you my address?” I say.
“Oh, yeah! I almost forgot to ask! Thanks.”

June 16th,

All I can think out work is what is he knows John..

Driving home I debate on canceling. But I decided to just give him a chance. Maybe it's a coincidence after all.

Come 6:45 pm, he still hasn't arrived. The coffee shop closes at 7. I decided to go and sit to watch TV and just as I get comfortable I get a knock on my door.

“Sorry I’m late. Traffic.” he says. “Since coffee closes soon would you like to just talk and lounge at your place and have a drink? I brought all the stuff!”

I agree but am very alert considering if he wouldn’t have gotten all that he may have made it on time.

We sit in the kitchen. Cracking jokes and laughing our butts off. He asks if he can use the bathroom. I tell him yes and that I'll be right back and that I needed to grab something from upstairs.

I run to my bathroom and throw myself against the door and start to cry. What has my life become? What am I doing wrong? Why am I so miserable?
But time flies and I forgot I have company. So I come back to reality and figured I should go back downstairs and just finish out the night.

As I'm walking downstairs I see Kevin’s reflection in my hanging mirror. He's on my computer. I see him on the same webpage that I had found his background information on.
The stair creaks and Kevin and I are looking at one another. His eyes have the look that my husband's had as he stabbed that man to death.
Lifeless.

I run to the kitchen as he comes after me.
I'm rustling through drawers trying to find a knife or something sharp of some sort. Of course  he came prepared though and I feel his knife graze against the back of my neck.
As he holds a knife at my neck asking me to plead before I die, I finally find a turkey temperature reader and drop to my knees. Kevin falls on top of me with the knife inches from my face.
He's pinning me down. My minds in survival mode. I manage to knee him as hard as I can in his back. Causing him to fall down and giving me time to get away.
I rush to the door. Tripping over nothing but fear, and just as I feel my hand grab the doorknob I feel the knife go through my side from behind, near my kidney. Out of instinct, I turn around and jab the baster through his neck.
After, I see the evilness in his eyes dissipate. 
I call the police then lie next to his lifeless body thinking how could my husband could do this to me.

The next week,

I still feel uneasy. The doctor said he was inches from nicking one of my major arteries.

I've had time to think and I've decided to move away from here. A new state actually. I figure if my husband is capable of this, why wouldn't he try again? I have to learn to trust everyone again. My husband did this to me.

My “husband”.