This is how I am now.
Numb.
Blank.
Empty.
The moment Isaiah left this life forever, I knew that everything would change.
That didn't mean I had to accept it.
The pounding behind my left temple seemed to increase the more I thought of last night. The horrific tragedy that had been my brother’s last waking moments. A tremor rocked through me. I closed my eyes, pleading the darkness to swallow me whole and cut my suffering short; even temporarily. Sleep finally took me captive. And of course, that's when the nightmares commenced.
I leaned my forehead against the cool glass of my Bug’s window. The rain pelting the window was like a lullaby luring me to sleep. My eyelids sagged as I noticed a semi speeding towards us from the left side of the intersection. I jolted awake, but before I could warn Isaiah, the truck smashed into the driver’s side of my Bug. With a ground shattering crunch, the entire door caved in. The impact sent us soaring through the air. We rolled for what seemed like eternity, until we collided with a tree on the side of the highway. I cracked my head against the window, which sent thousands of scarlet glass shards everywhere. My lights went out.
When I came to, I was a couple feet from the car; I must've been thrown out of the windshield. A giant gash was engraved within the length of my forearm. It wept blood; had already seeped through my jacket. I cursed under my breath and hesitantly lifted my fingertips to my head. They came away crimson. Shaking, I stood; only to initiate a lightning bolt of pain through my skull. I hobbled to my broken brother. The sight of him ripped my heart to shreds.
My Bug had flipped. The windshield and two front windows were completely missing. Glass stars littered the asphalt, twinkling in the moonlight. Isaiah lay wedged with his head and shoulders outside of the car, his neck at a disturbing angle. He was soaking in his lifeblood, it was impossible to tell where all of it was coming from. My calls of his name went unanswered. Dread engulfed me. I tried to pull him out, but I couldn’t. I could feel his pulse beating like a hummingbird until the faint drumming was gone.
He was dead.
I was alone.
I jolted awake, screaming his name; my t-shirt clinging to my frail body, searing tears choking me. I wrapped my trembling arms around my knees and maniacally mumbled until sleep finally took me once more, this time smothering me in a blanket of dreamless bliss.