I was fast asleep when my pager went off. I groaned at the thought of having to get up, I looked at the clock, it was three in the morning. I fell asleep in my scrubs, like always. Groggy, I poured some coffee into a thermos and headed out the door.

By the time I got to the Hospital, I was completely awake. I barely got in the door when Mrs. Nash greeted me, she told me Doctor Ellis was waiting for me.

“Of course he is.” I jested with a hint of actual frustration. I boarded the elevator at went to floor eight. I stepped out to immediately see Doctor Ellis yelling at a nurse. He had a short fuse, which is understandable with our line of work, but he really is a great man. He noticed me and handed me a clipboard, he told me to head for room eight twenty-three.

I glanced over the files on the clipboard and began prepping for surgery. The surgery itself wasn’t a problem, excising a tumor, I’d done it dozens of times. It was a quick surgery, I think I might have even beaten my personal record.

As usual after the surgery, my assistants and Doctor Ellis gave me almost unreal praise, telling me they’d never seen a surgery go so smoothly. Of course, I muttered thanks for the compliments and left to relax before being told to do another surgery.

The rest of the day would pass, surgery after surgery with some down time in between until I was about to leave. I was walking toward the elevator when a patient called me into their room. The patient was a man in his thirties though he could pass for a man fifteen years older. He asked me for a drink so I went to the vending machine and got him a soda. He asked if I could sit and keep him company, which I did even though I had been at work for the last twenty hours. You see, I had a vow to never turn down a patient and to help them in any way possible.

I talked with the man and he told me had been in and out of the hospital for the last couple of years, he had undergone almost a dozen surgeries and been on several medications. Doctors had told him his condition was incurable, that they didn’t know how long that they could delay the inevitable.

I may have been a master surgeon in the eyes of others, but incurable means incurable. No matter how good I was there was nothing to be done about situations like this.

He told me his condition had been a drain on his family, both emotionally and financially. He said he couldn’t handle the constant fear of death anymore and that he couldn’t face his family knowing the burden they are going through on account of him. He wanted to die with dignity and he asked me to do the unthinkable.

I told him that I couldn't, but I would visit him again tomorrow. I went home that night and as tired as I was, I couldn’t sleep. I layed in bed, thinking about what the man had said. Euthanasia, the practice of assisted suicide, is a serious offence and all doctors must swear against it. But I also promised to help any patient however I could. This is what he wanted and as morbid a thought that it is, it would benefit others. He should have the right to die with dignity, but if his family found out it was a suicide they would be in ruins, that’s why I had to do it. He could do it himself, but it would be obvious if I did it right no one would be able to tell, not even the other doctors.

The next day went like any other and when I was about to leave I visited the man. I told him that I thought about his proposal and that if he was absolutely certain I would do it. He agreed and I gave him an injection, it would take effect in a few minutes, giving me time to leave and avoid suspicion.

I don’t know exactly what happened after I left, but when I came into work the next day, he was gone. Now all there was to do is wait for the autopsy results. For the next few weeks, I was haunted with paranoia. What would happen to me if someone found out? I could lose everything, I definitely didn’t want to spend life behind bars. I prepared myself, I stole some pills from the hospital and hid them in a prescription bottle. In truth just one of the pills could kill in minutes, I had about half a dozen.

Eventually, the dread of being caught was lifted. I got my hands on the autopsy report and I had successfully fooled them. I was left with an important decision, live my life as if nothing happened, or become a euthanasia doctor, I left it up to fate. If I were to stumble across others who had no purpose, I would comply to their requests.

Of course, I was not a murderer, I had standards. Only those who were incurable, couldn’t function outside of the hospital and were of a sound mind to decide for themselves what they wanted would be eligible.

I did eventually stumble upon another and decided that I was destined for this. I sought out others and I found them before I knew it I had five under my belt. Each one would be a greater risk, but I had chosen this life if it wasn’t for me they would suffer.

Nobody had a clue. I was still the pride of the hospital, Doctor Ellis and the others loved me. My relationships at the hospital flourished more than they ever had. I spent most of my free time with Doctor Ellis, my best friend and fellow surgeon, Danny and my surgical assistant, Alisa.

All was going well, of course, that would change. After performing an emergency operation on a young girl, Alisa and I visited her room. The girl’s name was Serena, she was seventeen years old and suffered from a chronic lung disease. She has had several close calls but seemed as though she was holding strong.

We got to talk to her, but she was very distant. She was hooked up to a breathing machine and would have to stay in the hospital for some time, something she had gotten used to by now. Alisa tried to console her, “High school isn’t that fun anyway and with help from the doctors here you’ll be able to have a full life from here on in.” I shared the sentiment, but Serena didn’t seem to buy it.

Alisa made it her mission to cheer Serena up, of course, that meant I’d be dragged along. Serena definitely brightened up, I think all three of us looked forward to our breaks so we could talk. It was saddening to know that for hours a day she was practically all alone. When her family came to visit it was easy to tell that they didn’t have the greatest relationship. I think she was happier in the hospital than she was at home, but there was nothing I could do about that.

During this time there were others I euthanized, I looked at the autopsy reports and they found traces of the Injection I used. I don’t think they were on to me yet, otherwise they would have sent investigators sooner.

Alisa and I were visiting Serena, when out of nowhere her heart rate spiked, she began spasming and eventually passed out. We managed to stabilize her, but we found traces of Cyanide in her system. I don’t know how she got it, but it was clear to me that she did it to herself. Others were in denial and thought that maybe someone else poisoned her, or it was an accident.

She wanted to die and she was going to do it herself, even if I didn’t. She was young, I didn’t want to do it. I couldn’t talk to her about it, Alisa was always there. Serena wouldn’t say anything anyway. She was the first one I befriended, it was hard, but she didn’t have close friends her age and she despised her family. If she felt that was enough of a reason not to go on, who was I to judge. I stayed late so I could do it without anyone watching. I didn’t leave the hospital immediately afterwards, I wanted to see it take effect myself.

She was the first of my assigned patients to die on me and thus the first to die on Alisa. She handled the news hard. We went to the funeral, when I saw Serena’s parents I couldn’t help but hate them, if it weren’t for them Serena could have been happy.

The next day at work we were notified that there was an investigation into the hospital regarding the deaths of some of the patients. They were on to me. Over the next few days members of the staff would be questioned. Alisa and I were on the list.

The lead investigator, Detective Mahon, seemed to have his eyes set on me. He asked Alisa about me, but she insisted that I would never do such a thing. Serena’s death was ruled a suicide, so he had no information regarding her. Since all the other patients weren’t my own it was harder for him to confirm his suspicions.

Eventually the investigation cooled down, they were still working on the case, but it lost priority. This allowed me to continue seeking out others. In just one month there were almost twenty more, they weren’t hard to find. Despite the spike only Detective Mahon seemed to put effort into the case. He managed to get a warrant for all patient records, including my own.

I was about to go into surgery when Mahon confronted Alisa and I. He accused me of killing Serena. Before I could say anything Alisa had an outburst. She was outraged and in tears, “Serena was our friend, there’s no way either of us would ever do that to her. To even say such things is disrespectful to us and more importantly to her.”

The thought occurred to me, if anyone knew they would hate me. All my friends, hated me, they just didn’t know it. It was my fault Alisa was like this, I forced her to defend a murderer. And I was in fact a murderer. Mahon left unsatisfied. Alisa and I were too distracted to do the surgery, Doctor Ellis insisted that we let the others handle it and take the day off.

I thought more on what I had done, I hold by it, it is what they wanted. But it was too big a burden, I couldn’t carry the weight. I decided that I wanted to be caught, but I wouldn’t just turn myself in.

I gave the injection to the last person for them to use themself. I told them to wait until I had left and sure enough I came in the next morning and they and the injection were gone. In a couple of days Mahon came back to the hospital. As he walked toward me I took the pills I kept on me out of my pocket and held them tightly.

“We found a syringe with your fingerprints on it in the room of a deceased patient. You are under arrest.” I told him I stood by my actions. Alisa, Ellis and the others stood in awe. Alisa was forcing herself back, I knew she had a few choice words to say.

Detective Mahon, let me speak a few last words to my colleagues. I used this opportunity to explain myself and my decision to be caught. Before I was taken off I forced the pills in my hand down my throat.