the haunted hotel | Teen Ink

the haunted hotel

October 7, 2014
By elyse16 BRONZE, Paragould, Arkansas
elyse16 BRONZE, Paragould, Arkansas
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

It was a cold windy Halloween night, Alison and her friends Jake and Breanna were on their way to a haunted hotel in Memphis. They had heard a lot about it and how scary it was, they had been planning this trip for months now. They had heard that a little girl had died there a few years ago and was now haunting the hotel, they also heard that a lot of other things too.
They had finally arrived, the hotel was very old and creepy there were some shattered windows and it looked like it hadn’t been taken care of in years. The front door creaked as they opened it. “Welcome.” said a tall dark slender figure behind the front desk. He walked around the desk and came closer to them. When he got closer they noticed that he had bleach blonde hair and green eyes. “It’s so nice to have you guys here, you will be staying in room 215 on the top floor oh and by the way my name is Charles.” he said “Thanks.” said Alison. So they walked up the stairs all the way to the top floor and all the at the end of the hall was room 215. They unlocked the door and opened it the room smelled like something had been rotting in the floor boards for years. “I don’t know about this guys” said Breanna “It’s going to be fine Breanna don’t be such a baby.” said Jake “I’m not a baby!”  As they unpacked there things for tonight there was a knock on the door, when Alison opened the it nobody was there “Must be my imagination.” Said Alison
  It was around 11 a night and they still hadn’t heard a single noise or even seen anything. “Well this was a waste of time to come up here this place isn’t even hunted.” Said Jake “it’s only 11 we still have all night” said Alison “True but I still think it’s not haunted” Said Jake all the sudden the lights flickered on and off. “Whoa!” said Breanna “It’s an old hotel Breanna calm down.” Said Jake “shut up Jake” then there was another knock on the door, Alison opened the door while Breanna and Jake were still bickering. When she opened the door nobody was there that’s strange thought Alison I could have sore someone knocked on the door. “I thought I heard something too.” Said Breanna “Yeah me too” said Jake.
Then around 3 a.m. they started hearing noises out in the hallway when Breanna went out to see what was in the hallway she saw a little girl walking up and down the hallway. “What are you doing out here?” The little girl didn’t answer. The girl turned and faced Breanna she was very pale she had long silky black hair she was very tiny too but the one thing Breanna noticed most was the big wound on her side were it looked like she had been stabbed. Breanna ran to get Alison and Jake. “There is this little girl in the hallway and it looks like she’s been stabbed.” Said Breanna all out of breath from running down the hall. So they all ran down the hallway to go get the little girl, but when they got there she was gone.  “Do you think that was the ghost girl they were talking about?” said Jake “maybe” said Alison “I think it was.” Said Breanna so they started walking back to their hotel room. When they were about to go into the room the power goes out.
   It was pitch black they couldn’t see anything everything was so dark “Breanna. Jake.”   Said Alison nobody answered so Alison started walking around trying to find Breanna and Jake but she found nothing she started looking for candles and matches but still she found nothing. Finally the lights came back on she had found herself what looks like a basement or some kind of cellar the walls were made of like stones and it was very cold. “Where am I?” Said Alison but nobody answered. Then a really tall figure appeared and then two more appeared they all had knifes in there hand and they were dripping with blood. “What’s going on? Where are my friends?  What have you done with them?” said Alison but the figures just kept coming closer and closer till they were inches away from her.  But she couldn’t really tell what they looked like they were all dressed in black. The figure on the right said “your friends are gone now” the figure on the left said “And you’re next.” “Please don’t I’ll do anything please!” said Alison. The middle figure came closer and brought his hand in the air but all of the sudden the lights went off again. Alison soon found herself back to the hotel room not remembering what had happened after the lights went out, with both Breanna and Jake lying on the floor unconscious “what is going on here?” thought Alison.  At around 4a.m hours Breanna finally woke up so did Jake. “Do you guys remember anything that just happened?” asked Alison “nope the only thing I remember is the lights going off” said Breanna “me too” said Jake “huh” said Alison “I was captured by some people but I guess they brought me back here” this is also strange said Breanna  I’m ready to leave this place said Alison I think we all are said Jake lets go said Breanna so as they were walked out they passed Charles at the front desk hope you enjoyed your visit come back again he said with a smirk on his face.   


The author's comments:

this piece is about a haunted hotel that some people go to visit on halloween night


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This article has 1 comment.


jimi211 said...
on Oct. 13 2014 at 11:02 am
jimi211, Las Vegas, Nevada
0 articles 0 photos 6 comments
Hello Elyse16.   I think you should work on your conventions, punctuation, spelling and  narrative voice a bit more to make your story clearer.