It all started on a cool, summer afternoon. It had been a slow day, and my assistant decided to home early. I was sitting in my office chair staring at the lukewarm coffee that I had barely touched since my arrival. I decided that I would close up early, when suddenly a tall figure blocked the light that was illuminating the clouded glass of my front door. A middle aged man calmly walked up to my desk, and removed his hat; exposing his balding forehead. There was something about his appearance that made me recognize him……somehow.
“Is this the office of a Detective Quinn?”
“That all depends on whose asking?”
He didn’t seem to take too kindly to my last comment, but replied in the same mature tone.
“I am Mr. Wilcox and I am in need of your assistance.”

I was a bit reluctant at first. He seemed to have a certain air about him; something that kept bringing me back to his eyes. They were mismatched! The right one was a deep blue, and the left was a vibrant green, almost the color of jade.

He must have noticed my questioning stare at him, for he turned his gaze from me to my name tag, and continued with his request,

“I have been a victim of a thief.”

“And why do you need me? You don’t seem very distraught over your loss.”, I shifted my chair and balanced my feet on the edge of the mountains of paper that I still haven’t found the time to file. “Why don’t you call the police about your little problem?”
He balled his hands into tight fists and slammed them down on my desk, scattering my cup of pens all over the place. Being used to upset people, I hardly flinched.

“It was a priceless artifact that I don’t trust any standard, sticky-fingered cop within a step of it."

"Ok fine what is so important about this priceless artifact?"
I still wasn't too thrilled about this guy. He seemed to have an issue with his emotional stability, but I knew that I needed the job. Besides how hard could a simple burglary be. He quickly composed himself before he spoke again.

"It is a pocket watch made of the finest jasper. It was taken from my homeearlier today."

"Then we better make our way over there, first."

Mr. Wilcox shook his head and stepped out of my office. I picked up my wide brimmed fedora and followed him to a black Rolls Royce,where he proceeded to tell his driver to take him home.

If this was his idea of a house then I would love to see his interpretation of a raise. The front double doors themselves looked like they were worth two of my apartment combined. He led me to a fancy parlor where he seemed to have kept an interrogation of his own. Hegave me a box lined with velvet and a picture. As I laid my hands on the image he seemed reluctant to give it to me. This must be his precious watch.

"Well this is the box that it was kept in,and this is everyone that was in my house throughout the day."

"Hey I thought you hired me to find your stolen watch, not for you to do my job for me."

He didn't take to kindly to my attitude, but his opinion of me was not my problem. What I needed to see now was where all of this happened. He walked me to a smaller study that was left almost in shambles. Papers left everywhere and chairs flung all over the room.

"And I thought my office was a mess."

"I refused anyone to come into this room since the incident."

There was a small wall safe that seemed to have been hidden by a torn painting of a woman that sat silently in a delicate embroidered armchair.

"I see you have found the scene of the crime." he seemed very proud of himself and his extensive knowledge of the law. "It seemed like someone had forced their way into my safe."

"Now where did you get that idea? The safe is almost completely unharmed." I looked at the handle, the latch, and the dial; there wasn't even a scratch left by a crowbar or even a screwdriver. I opened the safe and noticed that nothing else was even touched. “When did you notice that the watch was missing?”

“About 9 a.m. this morning.”
"Okay, I am going to have to talk to the rest of your...witnesses."
We returned to parlor where his suspects were waiting around a tray with fresh hot tea.

"This is my daughter, Lillian; my wife, Emma;Gabriel, our butler; and Carol, our maid."

He pointed at each person with a seemingly accusatory stare that seemed to intensify with his mismatched eyes. Lillian was a girl that knew she was pretty and made sure that you were aware of it. Emma was no more than forty and couldn’t have been married to this know-it-all client of mine. Gabriel was a tall, thin man with a handlebar mustache. He was the stereotypical butler. Just looking at him you would say, “That man is a butler”. The maid, Carol, was not very pleased to be here. It seemed as if she had somewhere more important to be.

“How long is this going to take? There is still so much work to get done before this house is even remotely up to par… I don’t know about the rest of you, but I cannot just stand by with such a mess in the other room!”
Carol appeared as if she was going to fall to pieces from suffocation. Emma reached over and laid her hand on her shoulder.

“Calm down miss this shouldn’t take but a minute. Right mister Quinn?”

Carol sat down with a disgusted, on-edge frown. Emma looked up at me with hopeful eyes. She was truly elegant; with her loosely curled blond hair that framed her delicate face.

“I will do my best Mrs. Wilcox. Now, I need to know, where each of you were during the time of the attack.”

Lillian looked at me and flipped her hair from her face.

“I was in my room fixing my hair. Ever since I lost my favorite white silk gloves, I can’t seem to look as good as I was.”

Gabriel spoke next.

“I was in the kitchen preparing the master’s morning coffee…Again.”

“What happened the first time?”

“I made it too strong. So he told me to make it again.”

Gabriel’s white suit shirt had a large brown stain on the front of it. If I was him that coffee would have gotten right in the Master’s face. Carol spoke next still fiddling with her hands.

“I was cleaning the hall for the third time. When I heard the large crash I ran down the stairs and saw the study door open.”

She began to tear up.

“It was horrible. I just cleaned that room. ALL THAT WORK GONE TO WASTE!!!!”

Emma pulled Carol in for a hug as she started to speak.

“I was in the garden when I heard Carol scream. I ran in her direction only to find her passed out on the floor.”

Finally Mr. Wilcox spoke up.

“I was in the living room writing a letter, waiting impatiently for Gabriel to return,when this travesty happened. I ran to my study to find my useless maid on the ground, my wife bringing her too, and my watch missing.”

“Ok then. Lillian you said you were missing some silk gloves where did you see them last?”

“They were in my room in the same place that I always put them yesterday. It was devastating when they weren’t laying on the satin pillow on my nightstand. I knew that this was going to be a horrible day.”

“Can you show me where this pillow is?”

She stud up and directed me to her room. There was a heavy scent of perfume in the air. It was almost enough to suffocate a smoker. Everywhere you looked there was a mirror, and every time we passed one Lillian had to fix her hair or touch up her makeup. The plush floors were covered in with piles of brand new clothes.

“They were right here, and sorry about the mess, I couldn’t find an outfit that matched my mood.”

The royal purple pillow was laying on the cherry wood nightstand. There was no sign of the gloves but a smudge of dirt was left behind by the perp.

“Gross is that manure? I am going hurl.”

“If you do don’t aim it at me. Although by the look of this room everything is much too important to soil.”

I have such a way with words. Making two of my clients mad at me in one day, and three if you count the germ phobic maid. Lillian was furious that her attempt at swooning didn’t catch me off guard, and took me back to the parlor.

“I have one more question and then I think I have this all wrapped up. Gabriel may I take a look at your mitts?”

“My…. what?”

“Your hands…Can I see your hands?”

He showed his white gloved hands to me. They were still very clean a little too clean.

“Didn’t you have coffee spilled on you earlier?”

“Yes. But what does that have to do with the case?”

“If you had been in the kitchen making coffee for Mr. Wilcox you would have had stains on your gloves.”

“I switched them out with my spare that I keep in my pocket. I still have the filthy pair if you want to check my story.”

He took the horribly stained gloves from his jacket pocket and showed them to me. Carol’s eyes turned red and swollen as her voice began to crack.

“How could you just let those beautiful gloves be ruined like that? Does anyone here care about cleanliness? This is a travesty! An absolute crime!”

Emma patted Carol’s back trying to calm her down before she passed out again.

Seeing the gloves made me worried. This case wasn’t as open and shut as I first thought it to be. I had to spend more time with these crazy people.

“Okay one more question. Emma you said that you were working in the garden this morning?”

“Yes, I was pulling the weeds. Why?”

“Well I think I know who took your husband’s watch.”

Mr. Wilcox’s eyes began to shine.

“Really? Who is it? I bet it was Carol.”

“No. And would you please let me do my job.”

He shut his trap and I went on with my explanation

“As I was saying…… I know who did it. It wasn’t Gabriel because he was making your coffee, which I’m sure was fine the first time he made it.”

“But how do you know Mr. Quinn?”

“Well with the coffee stained gloves and the slight brown dribble mark left on your husband’s collar tell me that he was busy. Next it couldn’t have been Lillian because, by the mountains of clothes in her room tell that she had been occupied with her looks all morning.”

“It takes time to look this fabulous sir. Maybe you should take some beauty time.”

“No I think this I as pretty as I’m gonna get honey. Now as I was saying. Mr. Wilcox couldn’t have done it unless he really wanted to steal his own watch. And Carol couldn’t have done it without completely braking down over the fact of the huge mess that she would have left behind to hide the evidence of her crime.”

“So are you saying that I did it?”

“Well the safe was not tampered with so the robber must have known the combination. The safe was very clean around the dial, so the person was wearing gloves. And finally there was dirt smudges on the pillow where Lillian kept her precious silk gloves and you were the only person that was outside.”

Mr. Wilcox stared in disbelief at his wife.

“But why Emma? Why would you hurt me like this?”

“You always loved that stupid watch more than me. You never even used it. All you ever do is sit in your office and polish that watch of yours. You never pay attention to me anymore.”

“Mr. Wilcox I you look in the flower bed where she was working you will find your watch, and with that I want my pay.”

“Fine Mr. Quinn, I will pay you. Please except this as payment.”

Mr. Wilcox gave me a wad of cash that would choke a horse. Of course he didn’t press charges on his wife, and he seems to have learned his lesson that love is more important than a fancy watch.

I returned to my office only to find that my coffee was cold now and a small package was on my desk. I opened the box and found the jasper pocket watch and a note by Mr. Wicox.

Dear Mr. Quinn.

I don’t need this anymore so I thought that you may want it. Hopefully you can find more use for it than I have.

I went to the pawn shop the next day only to find that this priceless piece of crap was worth nothing but fifty bucks. That idiot rich guy wouldn’t know a priceless artifact if it hit him in the face. So I decided to use it. Wouldn’t do much good trying to sell the dumb thing; in Fact I think it suits me.