It burned. God, it burned so brightly. So beautifully. The fire climbed up the tree so quickly. So smoothly. So peacefully. I backed away from the flames that had now spread to the front of the site. The flags that people had left were now starting to burst into a fiery bliss, and the flowers left by white statues were beginning to char. Each and every tree had now been taken over. Orange, yellow, red. All of the colors molded together perfectly as branches and statues tumbled over. I had done it. I dropped the gasoline canister as I began to laugh. I had done it. God, I had f***ing done it. I danced. I laughed. I cried. And I danced some more. The whole world was crumbling in front of me and I could not have been more proud. The shrine was destroyed. I had done it. My soul was pure. Or, it would be soon. Twelve years I had been waiting for it. A pure soul. The voices were already gone too. Within seconds of dropping that match into the puddles of gasoline I had created, the voices finally stopped. I finally reached peace. I had done my jobs and everything was ok. Everything was absolutely beautiful. I fell onto my knees and bowed my head as tears of joy poured down my cheeks. I brought my hands up to my face to try and catch them, and that’s when I saw the blood. So much f***ing blood. My hands were covered in it. From my thumb to my pinky, God I had her blood all over me. I tried to remind myself that it wasn’t my fault. The voices were the ones that had told me to do it. To kill her. It was a beautiful death too. I loved her. I followed her home one night and ended up putting a hatchet through her head. She fought it for a few seconds, but finally accepted it as I performed the last few blows. I didn’t bury her either. I just left her there, lying outside of the clinic. Irony, isn’t it? Coming home from a doctor’s appointment and now she needs a doctor more than ever. Now I am here. On my knees in front of a fire that looks like it is reaching for the moon. I came here with her, but she didn’t even know my name. She found out that her soul was pure. I found out the opposite. I looked at the tree, where you’re supposed to see the Virgin Mary; and I saw evil. A beautiful evil. I mean, do you know what it’s like to realize that you are staring into the eyes of the devil and then realize that those eyes are so recognizable. Those eyes are your own. I cried for hours after that. I was afraid of myself. I was afraid of what I could do. But, God she looked so pretty that day. To see pure evil where absolute good is supposed to stand does something to you, ya know? But she, her…Sam. Sam was absolute bliss. You see the world has monsters. The world has so many f***ing monsters. The world has evil and death and rape and crime. The world has sin and the world has wrong. But, in order for the world to have all of the bad it needs to have good. Bad needs to have good. Evil needs justice. Horrifying needs absolutely beautiful. That’s what Sam is. That’s what Sam was. F***, I killed her. But, I had to. The world needs evil because the world needs good. I slaughtered her. And then the shrine. I didn’t want to destroy beauty. I didn’t want to take away the world’s one gift. I didn’t want to kill Sam but that f***ing shrine. I am what the world doesn’t want. I am what reminds the people that they should still be afraid of what is under the bed. They should realize that nightmares are just as real as dreams are. But, it doesn’t matter. Because dreams are still there. You see, the devil just robbed a liquor store on 43rd street. But the devil ran. The devil ran from all of the good people. The devil ran from the good that stand up against him. Right before the flames ignited the gasoline from the canister I had dropped, as I sat there crying and staring into the heart of the bright beast that I had just created. As I cried and laughed. As I felt the blood burning deep into my hands. I remembered that I had never even told Sam my name. I remembered waking up in the middle of the night when I was a kid, and climbing under the bed; only because it felt so safe under there.

I remembered that I had never given my friend Kyle his skateboard back. I really hope Kyle finds his skateboard.