Hello people. I the same person you see in the picture. Yes, an old man. You would think how an old man like me could get arrested by the police of Salt Lake City. Well, let me start off with why I went to the dark side (other than the cookies of course).

It all started with my neighbor. He is, I mean, was a bad person. He would leave the bathroom light on 24/7, and play classical music when he fell asleep and never turned it off. So, on a night in which the crickets chirped, and all seemed fine, I carried out my master plan. It was ingenious I say! I took my assorted knives. A short knife for close combat, five throwing knives for sniping, and a filet knife for skinning and torture, and a small knife in case I need a secret knife. I lined a wooden plank from my roof to his. I shimmied across, and got on the roof of his house. I was jumping inside with joy, I was going to end my restless sleeps once, and for all. I let myself in through the window. I remembered to step by the walls, so I wouldn’t creak the floorboards. As I approached my neighbor’s room, I took my short sword in my mouth, and readied three of my throwing knives. As I opened the door, I quickly chucked one of my knives into his heart. It hit dead on; I could almost feel the knife, piercing through his skin, his ribcage, and his heart. Blood then exploding in a mass confusion from the wound, and soaking the knife. I crept over, and I looked him in the eyes, and said to him “This is the last you shall see of anything Daniel, your killer.” I finished the job, and plunged the short sword into his heart. After a couple of seconds, I quickly removed the knives from their wounds. I skinned him using my filet knife, which cut through the skin quite well. I then hung him by the ceiling fan, and went back home.

I took a quick shower and went back to bed. I admit, it was the sleep of your life. The next morning, I awoke with a squadron of people with dangerous looking guns pointed at me. The person poking me with his gun said “Sir, you have been charged with unlawful killing of the first degree. You have killed a civilian. You have the right to not speak. Anything you say may be held against you in court. You have the right to a lawyer.”
I whirled around and stabbed the SWAT member to the right of my bed, laughing as the short sword plunged through the Kevlar and pierced his skin. I leapt up, snatched his 10mm Heckler & Kotch G36, and let loose a round. I killed a handful of police members. I let loose a battle cry, and detonated a random grenade I found. I then picked up another and detonated it also. By that time, the street was crowded with agents from all over the state. I had chosen a flash bang grenade which stunned me for a minute, and a gas grenade which knocked me out. I later found myself being dragged out of my house, and being thrown into a high security truck. So, now you find me writing my last words on paper, before I serve my death sentence. The judge has said that I have killed four SWAT members, and one civilian. I laughed in glee as I realized I snuffed out the light for four people. During the trial, I leapt up and tried to strangle the judge. The bailiffs restrained me and put me in a special chair. The judge muttered “He was a nice guy, and was a veteran Navy SEAL, it’s just he turned on us all”