CHARACTERS

RONALD REAGAN: President of the United States

ROBOT MASTER: An adult man who, halfway through the movie, fuses himself with a robot. Then he is half-robot and has a metal body. The only parts that aren’t metal are his head and neck.

RONALD REAGAN ROBOT: A robot that looks and sounds exactly like the real Ronald Reagan

NANCY REAGAN: Ronald Reagan’s wife

SECRET SERVICE MEMBER(S): Middle-aged men who wear suits and carry guns. They are very formal and stoic.

ALL ROBOTS: Human-shaped robots

January 1987

INT. HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES CHAMBER

The Ronald Reagan Robot is in the middle of giving his annual State of the Union before Congress. Senators and Representatives are sitting in seats watching.

  RONALD REAGAN ROBOT
We won't know how my words tonight will be reported there for one simple reason: There is no free press in Nicaragua. Nicaraguan freedom fighters have never asked us to wage their battle, but I will fight any effort to shut off their lifeblood and consign them to death, defeat, or a life without freedom. There must be no Soviet beachhead in Cen-

The doors to the Chamber open, and an army of robots flood in. There is a chorus of yells from the Senators and Representatives. The Secret Service surrounds Ronald Reagan Robot and begins ushering him out through the back doors.

  RONALD REAGAN ROBOT
What is happening? Were those robots?

  SECRET SERVICE MEMBER
Come along, Mr. President.

The robots attack the members of Congress. Everyone is trying to escape, but the robots have blocked the way out.

  ALL ROBOTS
(in robot voice)
We have captured your leader. Surrender now, humans, or face your death.

  RONALD REAGAN ROBOT
I haven’t been captured; what are they talking about?
FLASHBACK:

Earlier that week in the Robots’ Compound

Robots and their master are assembling another robot that looks like Ronald Reagan. There is a table at the far corner with two swords on it.

  ROBOT MASTER
Put the head on.

A Builder Robot places the head on the robot they’re building.

  ROBOT MASTER
Good. Now turn it on. We need it to be just like the real Ronald Reagan.

The Builder Robot switches the other one on. The Ronald Reagan Robot begins talking and walking. His movements are very robot-like, and his speech sounds very mechanical.

  RONALD REAGAN ROBOT
How must I serve you, master?

  ROBOT MASTER
Gahh! He’s too obvious! We’ll never get anything accomplished with him! He even looks like a fake! Build me a new one, and this time, make it perfect.

  BUILDER ROBOT
Yes, master.

The Builder Robot switches off the Ronald Reagan Robot and begins to disassemble it. He starts to build a new one that looks like Ronald Reagan.

  ROBOT MASTER
  (muttering to himself)
I swear. I’m surrounded by morons. I should’ve just hired humans instead of robots. At least most humans can follow simple directions. I’m so tired of doing this. I thought that robots would be more intelligent than humans, but it seems that they lack all common sense.

The Robot Master starts observing the robots.

   ROBOT MASTER
Maybe if I could fuse a human— myself possibly— and a robot together, they’d be more capable of doing what I want. They’d have the strength and intelligence of a robot, but the sentience of a human. I could have the strength and intelligence of a robot. I’d be unstoppable.

The Builder Robots finish the new Ronald Reagan Robot.

   BUILDER ROBOT
Master, we are finished.

The Robot Master inspects the Ronald Reagan Robot and switches him on.

   RONALD REAGAN ROBOT
(sounds like a human)
How must I serve you, master?

  ROBOT MASTER
Perfect! He looks just like the real thing! Come, Robots. It’s time to begin step two: get the president. And Robots, one more thing. Build me another Robot.

  BUILDER ROBOT
Why, master?

  ROBOT MASTER
No one will be able to defeat me after I fuse myself with a robot. I will be unstoppable! I will rule the world!

BACK TO PRESENT DAY

INT. WHITE HOUSE BUNKER

The Ronald Reagan Robot, Nancy Reagan, and the Secret Service are in the bunker. There are some chairs and tables around. One of the tables has a baseball bat on it.
  
  NANCY REAGAN
(to Ronald Reagan Robot)
Ronnie, will you come over here for a second?

  RONALD REAGAN ROBOT
I only serve the master.

  NANCY REAGAN
What? What’s that mean, Ronnie? Who is the Master?

  RONALD REAGAN ROBOT
I only serve the Master.

  NANCY REAGAN
(to Secret Service Members)
Uh, will you guys come over here? Something is wrong.

  SECRET SERVICE MEMBER
(to Ronald Reagan Robot)
Sir, is something wrong?

The Ronald Reagan Robot starts twitching uncontrollably, as if he is breaking down.

   RONALD REAGAN ROBOT
I...only serve...the Mas...ter. Mas...ter. Mas...ter.

The Ronald Reagan Robot’s arms start flailing and hitting everything in the room. Nancy Reagan exits quickly, and the Secret Service Members draw their guns.

   SECRET SERVICE MEMBER
Sir? Sir, are you okay?

  RONALD REAGAN ROBOT
Mas...ter. I...only..serve...the ...mas...ter.

The Ronald Reagan Robot starts to move faster. The sounds of gears can be heard, making it apparent that it is a robot. Suddenly, he stops moving and stares at the Secret Service members.

   RONALD REAGAN ROBOT
Surrender now, humans. The Master is on his way, and all who oppose him will face their death.

  SECRET SERVICE MEMBER
(whispers, shocked)
Is he a… robot? He can’t be! That’s… impossible!

  RONALD REAGAN ROBOT
Surrender now, humans. The Master is on his way, and all who oppose him will face their death.

  SECRET SERVICE MEMBER
(addressing other members of the Secret Service)
Fire on my command. We must protect the First Lady.

The Ronald Reagan Robot walks toward the Secret Service Members.

   SECRET SERVICE MEMBER
Fire!

The Secret Service Members begin to shoot the robot. The bullets go through him, revealing wires and gears. The Ronald Reagan Robot does not fall. He continues to walk toward the Secret Service Members. Nancy enters behind the robot while carrying a baseball bat.

   RONALD REAGAN ROBOT
Surrender now, humans. The Master is on his way, and all who oppose him will face their death.

  SECRET SERVICE MEMBER
Mrs. Reagan, no!

The Ronald Reagan Robot turns toward Nancy Reagan, and she hits it repeatedly with the bat. After several hits, the robot’s head flies off. The robot falls to the ground and twitches before lying completely still.

   NANCY REAGAN
What was that thing?

  SECRET SERVICE MEMBER
I’m not entirely sure. It was definitely not the president.

INT. ROBOT’S COMPOUND

The real Ronald Reagan is being held by two robots. The Robot Master, who has now fused himself with a robot, is pacing in front of him. There is a table in the corner with two swords on it.

   ROBOT MASTER
You know, Ronnie, you made this too easy. You really shouldn’t have left your windows open last night. Bad idea, Ronnie.

  RONALD REAGAN
Don’t call me that. I’m Mr. President to you.

  ROBOT MASTER
Oh, but Ronnie, you’re not in charge anymore. I am. All I need to do is have my robot tell the public to do what I say.I can control everyone.

  RONALD REAGAN
And why would they listen to one of your robots?

  ROBOT MASTER
That’s the best part! The public won’t know that it’s a robot! They’ll think it’s you. You see, I have a robot that looks identical to you. Whenever I give the command, he will tell every citizen of the United States to do whatever I want.

  RONALD REAGAN
They’ll never beli-

  ROBOT MASTER
(interrupting)
Shh… Ronnie. Everyone will believe. You are the president, after all. It will be your name in the history books as the one who caused the fall of humanity.

The Robot Master walks to the table in the back of the room and grabs the two swords on it. He returns to Ronald Reagan with the swords in his hands.

   ROBOT MASTER
Listen up, Ronnie. I’m going to have my robots release you. And since you’re so confident, we will have a sword fight to find out who the real winner is. We will settle this like men. Robots, release.

The robots let go of Ronald Reagan and walk to the edge of the room. The Robot Master hands a sword to Ronald Reagan.

   ROBOT MASTER
Here you go, Ronnie. I do wish you the best of luck. I promise I won’t tell anyone how quickly you lost once this is all over.

  RONALD REAGAN
I could promise you the same thing, but I won’t. I’m going to tell everyone how weak you and your robots are.

  ROBOT MASTER
Robots, block the door. We don’t want Ronnie here running out on us.

The robots walk to the door. The Robot Master points his sword at Ronald Reagan.

  ROBOT MASTER
En garde, Ronnie. Your move.

Ronald Reagan runs at the Robot Master and swings his sword. The sword hits the Robot Master’s arm, which is made of metal.

  ROBOT MASTER
Ronnie, you’re gonna have to do better than that.

  RONALD REAGAN
(to himself)
He’s made of metal, but there has to be a weak spot. If only I can find it…

  ROBOT MASTER
I’m not deaf, Ronnie. I can hear you.

The Robot Master and Ronald Reagan continue sword fighting. Ronald Reagan tries to stab the Robot Master but keeps hitting metal.
  ROBOT MASTER
Sorry Ronnie, but this is boring me. I’m tired of playing this little game with you. It’s time to end it.

The Robot Master uses his sword to chop off one of Ronald Reagan’s legs. Ronald Reagan falls to the ground and screams in agony. The Robot Master leans over him and looks at him lying on the ground. His neck can be seen while he leans over Ronald Reagan.

  ROBOT MASTER
I hope that leg wasn’t important, Ronnie.

Ronald Reagan realizes that his neck isn’t covered by metal. He raises his sword and stabs it through the Robot Master’s neck. The Robot Master falls forward onto Ronald Reagan, who pushes him off. The robots guarding the door approach Ronald Reagan.

  ROBOT ONE
You have defeated the Master. You will now take his place. How must we serve you?

  RONALD REAGAN
My leg… my… leg.

  ROBOT TWO
We will fix your leg, master. You will be just like the previous Robot Master.

The robots carry Ronald Reagan over to a table in the corner of the room. Around the table is various medical equipment. The robots hook Ronald Reagan to an IV, which causes him to go unconscious.

SEVERAL HOURS LATER

Ronald Reagan wakes up with a metal leg. The robots give him crutches, but Ronald Reagan doesn’t use them. He stands and addresses the robots.
 
  RONALD REAGAN
Take me to the White House. I need to see my family.

  ROBOTS ONE AND TWO
Yes, master.

  RONALD REAGAN
Also, what did you to me? I feel… smarter. More powerful.

  ROBOT ONE
You are now one of us, Master. A robot, but also a human. You now have the intelligence and strength of a robot in addition to your human qualities.

SEVERAL MINUTES LATER

INT. WHITE HOUSE BUNKER

Ronald Reagan arrives at the White House Bunker. Inside, the Secret Service Members and Nancy Reagan are surrounding the robot version of Ronald Reagan.

  NANCY REAGAN
Ronnie! I was so worried! What happened?

  RONALD REAGAN
I don’t really know. I was kidnapped by some crazy Robot Guy who attacked me.

  NANCY REAGAN
I’m just glad you’re safe.

  SECRET SERVICE MEMBER
What’s our next step, Mr. President?

  RONALD REAGAN
I don’t know. And I’ve recently decided that I want to be called “Robot Master.”

  NANCY REAGAN
Robot Master? Really? Why?

  RONALD REAGAN
Why not? I’d say it fits my personality, wouldn’t you? My robots sure like to call me “Master.”
 
  NANCY AND SECRET SERVICE MEMBER
Your robots?

  RONALD REAGAN
Yes. And I am their master. From now on, I will be addressed as Ronald Reagan: Robot Master!

Ronald Reagan turns away from Nancy and The Secret Service Members and winks at the camera.