Attack of the dwarves | Teen Ink

Attack of the dwarves

June 5, 2014
By Trent Flieger BRONZE, Pasco, Washington
Trent Flieger BRONZE, Pasco, Washington
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Normal people have no chance. People are disappearing, but we all know it is actually the Midget Ninja Attack Force getting their revenge on being mistreated for years and years. The midget ninja clan is angry with every single average person on earth, because of the fact that products that are made throughout the world aren’t made for people of midget size. The little bastards took my one true love away from me and I will do anything to get her back.

My name is Alex. I am 5’11’’ tall. I have short cropped black hair. I’m not very muscular, but at the same time I’m not very scrawny. I guess you could say I’m as average as average as a person can possible get. I got engaged last year to the most beautiful girl I have ever met. Her name is Anna. She has thick, curly, long dark chestnut brown hair that flows down to her shoulders. Her deep dark blue eyes are the most amazing things I have ever seen. I can look in them for days upon days. Her smile is so perfect that it will brighten up anyone’s day that sees it. There is no possible way that I deserve someone as perfect as she is. Anna is the most amazing thing that could have happened to me in a hundred lifetimes, so I am on a mission to destroy the midget ninja clan and get my love back.

In west Philadelphia I was born and raised. On the playground, is where I spent most of my days. I’ve seen many short people being made fun of, so I can’t really be upset that the Midget Clan is angry. But to go so far, all because of a few words being said is insane. No one should go this far.

The Midget Ninja Clan is led by the vicious little man who calls himself Sir Midge A Lot. He started this whole war that our two clans have together.

I grabbed all of my gear, which included a matchbook, a 44 revolver with 6 rounds, and my trusty machete. I was on my way out the door when my buddy Mark stopped me. “Yo Alex, where are ya going man?” He asked me.

“To the store to grab some food to eat,” I told him not wanting him to try and come with me.

“Really?” He asked. “Pretty sure no one’s going to be packing a machete to the grocery store. Seems to me you’re finally growing a pair and going to take out Sir Midge A Lot, and if that’s the case, of coarse I’m coming with you!”

“Sorry Mark, I can’t have you join me on this trip. I have to do this alone,” I told him.

“Hmmmm alright, well goodluck. Give him a beating for me.” He said.

We then walked our separate ways. I have known where the base of Sir Midge A Lot has been for about a week now. I finally mustered the courage to take my revenge. I got into my car and headed out of camp for about 10 minutes. Right behind the 4th billboard coming out of the city there is an entrance to the sewage line. Apparently Sir Midge A Lot has been camped out there.


I parked about 100 yards away from the entrance. I walked over to it and removed the grate. Surprisingly it wasn’t at all locked. I put it to the side and started climbing down the ladder. There was a river of nasty green sludge flowing at the bottom, giving off a smell worse than rotten eggs. Luckily, there was a path to walk on by the side of it. About 100 yard down the pipe I could see a small light appearing through a door, as if someone was giving me a sign to follow the light. I walked as quietly as I possible could towards the light. When I was about halfway to it I heard some sounds behind me. I quickly flipped my head around to where the noise was coming from, but couldn’t see anything. Hopefully it was a rat, I thought. I turned back around towards the light, and started making my way there again.
I peered into the room from the outside. I saw Sir Midge A Lot sitting in a throne reading a book. There were no other midgets that I could see. I took a step in the door and yelled at him, “Where is my wife you bastard?” He looked up shocked to see someone standing before him. His expression then turned to one of amusement while a smile slid across his face.
“Oh how nice of you to bring yourself here. Your wife is mine now, hidden where only a few of my elite midget guard know. You will never find her!” He said.
“Well then I will just have to kill you for my own revenge!” I screamed. I took a step forward and drew out my gun. Before I could shoot Sir Midge A Lot, he threw a throwing star at my shooting hand causing me to throw my gun back out the entrance. My hand was in searing pain. I looked up to see Sir Midge A Lot running at me at full speed with a sword raised. Using my left hand I grabbed my machete to block a few strikes. He was too fast for me, all I had time to do was block. He swung low and I pushed the blade back with my own, then he stabbed in. I didn’t have much time so I brought my blade as close as I could. His blade connected with mine close to the hilt causing me drop my blade and stumble backwards. Sir Midge A Lot stood over me holding the tip of his blade to my throat.
“How sad you must die this way,” he said. He then raised his sword high enough to make a devastating swing to my head. Just when he was about to swing down, I heard gunshots. Sir Midge A Lot fell backwards with blood gushing out from under his kingly robes. His final words were, “You don’t deserve your wife, you’re just a bully like the rest of your kind!”
I responded, “I’m not a bully like you are.” He then preceded to cough up blood until his eyes eventually closed.
I turned around to see Mark standing there holding my gun.
“You saved me Mark.” I exclaimed.
“Oh it was nothing. I knew I couldn’t let you try and get revenge all alone. Something bad could have happened,” he said. “Any news on Anna?”
“She isn’t here,” I said. “But to find her, and it’s going to take killing every dwarf we come across to get her.



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