The Revenge of the Walrus
By: Elliott Mann
One summer day in a frigid, arctic paradise, Thadius, a husky Walrus, was sunbathing on an icy ridge overlooking the Weddell Sea. Eldridge, a passive aggressive narwhal, swam up to the ridge followed by his colleague Cletus, a discourteous sea lion. “Hey tubby, why don’t you come for a swim”? Eldridge said with a hearty laugh. Thadius had no response, he was just calmly enjoyed his sunlight. Eldridge swam several feet back and began to ram his magnificent spiraled tusk repeatedly into the side of the ridge. After several minutes of chopping at the icy wall it began to give way. Thadius realized he was in serious danger and rolled off of the ridge. Thadius submerged at least 20 feet before landing in the frigid arctic water. Filled with fear Thadius realized he had never learned to swim. Trying his best to surface, Thadius, gasping for air, slowly sank. Then, as if by chance, something large abruptly bumped Thadius in the rear. Gaining speed Thadius was returned from the icy depths to the sweet feel of southern oxygen. Then complete darkness.

Thadius regained consciousness. He lay on an abandoned shelf of ice. A black and white figure appeared out of the water. Thadius was relieved to see his best friend Holly, an enthusiastic killer whale. “Thank goodness I showed up or else you would have been as good as dead” said Holly. “Thanks for saving me.” Thadius said with great gratitude. “How did you end up in the water anyways? You know you can’t swim” Holly implored with concern. “It was Eldridge and Cletus! Eldridge broke the ridge I was laying on.” “Well you know what this means right? We must devise a plan to get revenge on those two.” Holly said with a confident look.

Over the next several weeks, Holly and Thadius began work on their revenge plan. Multiple ideas and scenarios were tested. After some time Thadius and Holly had conducted a plan. Every morning Eldridge sharpens his tusk between two rocks underwater, and while he is asleep, Holly will put several jagged rocks into Eldridge’s “Tusk Sharpener”. When he awakens the next morning to sharpen his tusks he will later find out that his most prized possession is ruined.

It was midnight and Eldridge was nowhere in sight. Holly took this as her chance to swim to the depths of the Arctic Ocean to find Eldrgide’s Tusk Sharpener. After several minutes of intense searching, she spotted it out of the corner of her eye. Cautiously she looked around to make sure there was no one in sight. Carefully she strategically placed the most serrated rocks into the cylindrical hole. Then she was gone, and the plan was set. As the silhouette of the orca grew fainter and fainter, Cletus emerged from behind the hull of a wrecked ship. Maniacally he laughed knowing of the teams failure.

The next day Thadius awoke smiling tusk to tusk. He rushed as fast as he could to find where Holly always eats. He spotted Holly eating a seal near an ice shelf. “Holly! Holly! Did it work?” Holly just stared at Thadius as if she had seen a ghost. “What’s wrong?” Thadius said with confusion. The sounds of laughter erupted from behind Thadius. “Looking for this?” Eldridge managed to say while holding half of Thadius’s right tusk. “No! How could you?” Thadius cried. Eldridge just laughed. Feeling ashamed Holly and Thadius left without a trace. Oozing with delight, Eldridge began to flip for joy, soaring at least ten feet out of the water. Eldridge so infused with confidence attempted a back flip out of the water laughing all the while. Not previously noticing it, he landed on an iceberg. Struggling to slide back into the water, Eldridge realized he was stuck. “Help! Help! Help!” Eldridge shouted, gasping due to his intense screams.

For forty days and forty nights, Eldridge lay there until a local penguin spotted him one day. The cause of death was not known but assumed starvation. No one knows what happened to Cletus. To this day Holly and Thadius remain best friends.