July 7th, 2086- 3:00am

When she left everything turned grey, there’s this knot I feel deep in my stomach that turns more and more as the days go by without her, I hated everything in the world, why her? Why did they have to take her, everyone acts as though she never even existed, am I supposed to just forget?, How can I forget the one person who made me feel seen , who never once judged me and held me together, now that she’s gone, I don’t know what do with myself, I’m falling apart , I’m sitting in the dark in the bed we once shared, swarmed with the thought of her. What will she be like when she returns? Will I be able to handle the way she is? Will I have even a sliver of the woman I once loved? It pains me to think this way but it’s seemingly the harsh reality I will eventually have to face...my Alicia won’t be real.

July 14th, 2086- 5:00am

I can't sleep , it's been a week and two days since they took her from me, I have to be up by 7 and go to work and act like everything’s okay, I have to put on a fake smile, so I can keep my job, I can't show any emotion, I can't be seen “unhappy”, people here get killed for that, the world is truly disgusting now, I have to live with the fact that my dear Alice is gone, now my smile won’t be because I got too see her perfect smile and perfect black silky hair when she wakes up, it won’t be because of the kiss she gave me every time I would go off too work,  but now I smile so I can live, but do I really want to live? I mean what’s the point if I don’t have her here, and I especially don’t want to be here when they bring her back to me and she’s…different, I hate thinking about it. I'll have her physically here, but she won't be the same, she will be programmed how they want her to be, she’s being used as a test rat, like she isn’t a human with a human body and a human brain like the rest of us. The thought of this consumes my mind every day now and the smile I wear is getting harder and harder to hold.

August 7th, 2086- 2:00 pm

It’s been a month now, I can’t even bother to get up and get ready for when “she” comes home in a few hours, I have an empty feeling in my stomach , I can't think straight and just writing this is taking me a while because I’m too weak to move, you never really realize how much a person's loss could affect you until you lose them, I can't stop thinking about the last time I saw her, how the sun was hitting her face perfectly, with her green bright eyes glimmering and shinning, and how it made her skin glow, and even though she hated her smile I loved watching her smile when the golden hour that was in front of us , it reminded me of how the sky looked when I got on one knee and proposed to her at the beach just a month before they took her, that moment was so special for the both of us, I was promising to devote my life and time to her for eternity, seeing her so full of excitement and joy from me just putting on the ring making it official, it’s something I wouldn’t hesitate to relive again. Who would’ve known then that our life together would be coming to an end so soon.

August 8th, 2086 – 4:00 am

When “she” came home,   I didn’t know what to expect , I never fully mentally prepared myself for whenever I would see her again, I expected to be able to keep it together so I wouldn’t have trouble with smiling, I needed to make sure I looked happier than ever to have her back, even if “she” wasn’t herself anymore, I had to push back any emotion , but as soon as I walked up at the door ready to open it, my anxiety ascended and I started to panic, my breathing became heavier and my head was spinning , I couldn’t even place my hand on the door knob , I was shaking ,  I couldn’t even force a smile out of myself , I was thinking to myself why should I even be opening the door too welcome “her” back when she’s no longer the person I knew, she would physically and mentally be something else , there’s no point in her even being welcomed back in  if I’ve already mourned her loss, but there was no escape from this , so I worked up the courage and opened the door. My heart dropped as soon as I saw the person that was standing in front of me, “she” didn’t even look like my Alicia anymore, her eyes were cold as ice, her expression was empty, her hair had lost its glow, and instead of the vibrant smile I remembered I was met with a pinned eerie smile that was uncomfortable too look at... I was face to face with a stranger. I looked down to see an envelope in her hand, when I opened it, I was filled with enmity when I was faced with the check that came with my dear Alicia, was this supposed to be some kind of consolation for the woman I once called my wife?

July 7th, 2087 – 3:00am

A year has gone by, a very depressing, dark year, the sky no longer had its special vibrant colors like it did when she was here with me, it was now grey and dull, at times I would forget “she” was even living with me, her presence was erased from my brain, and the times where I would acknowledge her, I was simply extricating at the sight of her. That was until today when something peculiar happened. I decided to go out sometime around golden hour as this was my time in which I felt the need to get out of the house which held almost a gloomy aura to it now. As I walked into my backyard, I saw Alicia watching as I walked out the door. I’m not sure what persuaded me to do so but, I decided to invite her outside with me and as she stepped out and the sun hit her face, for a moment the softness in her eyes returned, her hair glowed, and under her breath I saw her mutter the words “Eric”, and for just a moment Alicia was real.