And Then I Am Gone(Trigger Warning) | Teen Ink

And Then I Am Gone(Trigger Warning)

May 4, 2021
By SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
200 articles 23 photos 1053 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)

"Upon his bench the pieces lay
As if an artwork on display
Of gears and hands
And wire-thin bands
That glisten in dim candle play." -Janice T., Clockwork[love that poem, dont know why, im not steampunk]


When blood hits the water, what happens? Does it disappear into it, like smoke in the wind? Float like oil, separate, sad. I guess I won’t live to watch my blood, whatever it does. I stare calmly up at the blade. Strange. I should be crying, pleading for my life, bravely shouting my last words, fighting. I feel nothing. Maybe I won’t feel it slide into my flesh, gracefully, mercilessly part it. I meet the eyes, cold, indifferent. Why does the killer mirror my emotions? Or, why do I mirror theirs?

I watch the slow descent of the sword. Frozen. Everything is frozen but my eyes, the sword, his arm. Seconds become eons, staring into the glint of steel reflected in the killer’s drained eyes. Drained of their color, a cold, empty grey. I figured I should move, try to dodge it, but I can’t. Everything is so slow, and my body is paralyzed in time.

The water under me pulls, impatient, trying to embrace me. My eyes flicker closed and then open. A millisecond, it took. Years, it took. I lock eyes, my warm colored eyes to the cruel grey ones. Does he feel how slow time is? Does he feel impatient? My eyes flick from him to the blade, falling so slow. It's still a foot from me.

My eyes flick to the water. Staring into the depths of the current ready to pull me in, hide me, keep me from sight. Hold me forever. I try to feel the rest of me, but it's like there’s a wall at my neck, blocking feeling. Blocking the tightness of the ropes.

I return my gaze to the sword, closer, now. Maybe 2 inches left of life. Two millennia. My eyes lock on his again. I feel an odd sensation on my neck. Heat explodes from it, as something cold plunges into it. I don't look at the sword. I keep my eyes locked on his. Cold, indifferent. Another body to wash away. The cold steel cleaves flesh quicker and quicker.

I feel it collide with the bone. It could press, but it doesn’t. I keep my eyes on the steel ones as I fall into the arms of the water, watching for any change, any warmth, any color. To see if they care. I detect no change, and the gaze breaks as they turn, abandoning me to the water. I fall under, silently. But just before I can watch the blood, my vision flickers, black spots grow fuzzily, and then I am gone.


The author's comments:

haven't a clue what was going on to get her there. must be some story. i almost had her killed by a dragon, or committing suicide, or a variety of other options, but I figured a knight-like figure to kill her.


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This article has 3 comments.


on Dec. 23 2023 at 10:28 pm
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
200 articles 23 photos 1053 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)

"Upon his bench the pieces lay
As if an artwork on display
Of gears and hands
And wire-thin bands
That glisten in dim candle play." -Janice T., Clockwork[love that poem, dont know why, im not steampunk]

2 or 3 years later... this kinda holds up. I needed serious help, but this holds up.

on Aug. 27 2021 at 9:13 pm
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
200 articles 23 photos 1053 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)

"Upon his bench the pieces lay
As if an artwork on display
Of gears and hands
And wire-thin bands
That glisten in dim candle play." -Janice T., Clockwork[love that poem, dont know why, im not steampunk]

thx(:
i saw this again and realized its kinda cool in a really freaky way

Lydiaq ELITE said...
on Aug. 27 2021 at 5:38 pm
Lydiaq ELITE, Somonauk, Illinois
172 articles 54 photos 1026 comments

Favorite Quote:
The universe must be a teenage girl. So much darkness, so many stars.
--me

It's horrifying, but you have this ability to drag out the tiniest moment in time and make a whole story out of it.