I was walking down the dark cold road on the way to the bus stop. The walk wasn’t very long but it was very cold so it made it seem like forever. I looked at my phone and it was 6:18, I was almost there. The bus came at 6:25 so I’ll be fine. While I was walking, I was listen to my favorite singer, rapper whatever he is, Eden. I always been in love with him and his songs. As I was approaching the bus stop my arms ached as I tried to switch my purse to a comfortable angle. I rolled up my sleeves and looked at my scars. I then rolled them back after a while. Cutting myself wasn’t the worst, it kept my heart from so much pain. The bus was running late again, it was now 6:30. I looked at what I was wearing, I had a long sleeve shirt, jeans and an oversized hoodie on. I waited for the bus while listening to Eden, the strong wind up against the trees, and laughter of the kids at my bus stop.

Finally, my bus came as I was turning into a living ice sculpture. I quickly sat next to my friend, Journie. Journie has been my friend since I came to this school. We go to Charlotte Academy and were both in the ninth grade. My name is Callie. I moved from California to here, Charlotte in July. I’m fourteen and I’m a not so alright teenager. I’m a bomb, an explosive, or that’s just how I see myself. I cut myself, and I tried to kill myself about three times, four if you count last night. Oh yeah, and I have serious trust issues, and that’s about it I think. Journie and me “click”. Were a good team at times, but other times I think she doesn’t care about me despite that, I love her. Journie is half-black and half-white, so her skin is a light color. She’s skinny, but she eats so much. She also has long dark hair, always curly.  She’s weird but hey who isn’t. I qualify her as a “friend” but I don’t have any friends because they end up leaving. I don’t stay too attached to people. She doesn’t know I cut, she doesn’t know I’m not fine, I wouldn’t never tell her either. I joke to her about it to see her reaction, but to me she doesn’t care so I keep quiet.

“Hey” I said as I turned to her. She had on a bright pink jogger suit and bright pink vans. She loves matching, like everything must match or she can’t wear it. “Hey” she replied. “What’s up”? I said. She turned to me and started talking about her crush and their conversation last night. “We were up talking all night last night, till like 4 and I fell asleep, I like him so much Callie, you just don’t know” “I know alright” I said in a sarcastic tone. She laughed. “Why are you wearing a long sleeve shirt and a hoodie, it’s supposed to be hot later?” I looked around nervously, trying to figure out a lie. She knows I watch the news and stuff so I told her I forgot.  We then talked so more, as we got to school. 

When the bus pulled up to school I groaned. I felt tired, I didn’t want to be here. This place is filled with lies, backstabbers, and all types of problems. When the bus driver opened the door, we zoomed off. We don’t eat in the mornings so we went straight to class. It was Monday so we had to go to home room. On the way, there I saw one of my “friends”, Sophie. She is another one of the people who’s been talking to me since day one. She a little chubby, but very pretty. She has long blonde hair and chubby cheeks. She had a black dress on with red shoes, he’s very stylish. You barely see her wear jeans. I went up to her and hugged her. “Sophiaaaaa, Sophia, she’s just a girl in the village doing alright” I sang as I hugged her. She laughed at me and hugged me back. The bell rung. It was now 7:05, which meant it was time to go to class, school started at 7:10. “I’ll see you later girl” I said walking away.

When we entered home room, everyone got quiet. Don’t you just hate when people stare at you? It makes me feel sick and all nervous inside. I don’t really talk to anyone except Journie in homeroom, because I don’t have any friends. We sat down and talked. 

“Why everyone want to get quiet all the sudden”? Asked Journie. “People are like that but who cares”. I replied, “so guess what”? I forgot to tell you but when we were taking exams I told Nicklahas something. Now, Nicklahas been my “friend” since like the second week of school. He basically my boy best friend since Brandon. Brandon’s a long story, and I don’t want to talk about him just yet, anyways Nicklahas and me are close. Very close. He’s Puerto Rican and tall. He looks white but he’s Puerto Rican. He very weird, and he’s skinny. One of my favorite things about him is his smile, his smile makes me smile when I don’t want to. I have a huge crush on him, I can’t get him off my mind. Ever since are classes changed, I don’t see him as much. He doesn’t know in detail why I’m an explosive or whatever. Once again, I don’t get too attached, that’s why I’m not chasing after him or anyone. I’m going to just do me, no matter what.
“This is what I did, we were talking and…” Journie rolled her eyes. She doesn’t really like Nicklahas and I didn’t care. Nothing was wrong with him what so ever, she says he’s annoying. Which he isn’t but whatever. She barely listens to me when I talk about him. She looked over at me and smiled. I rolled my eyes and I just kept quiet. “You’re seriously mad?” I didn’t talk. “Okay fine”. I looked at her with disbelief. Every time I’m mad at her she doesn’t care like she didn’t do anything wrong and we don’t end up talking till I apologize. That’s another reason, why she doesn’t know anything, I trust her but I’m not telling her.
It was now 7:11 and we get out of home room in 20 minutes, since I was mad at her I decided to listen to music and turn my emotions.  Just like the vampires in “The Vampire diaries”. I really wish I could do that at times, because my heart is too big to not care.