I rolled over expecting to feel Noah, but of course, I didn’t. These past few weeks he’s been acting like we’re not together. Avoiding me. One word answers when I ask how his day was. Ignoring my calls. Whatever’s wrong with him, he needs to chill because I’m starting to think he’s cheating on me. Well maybe I’m just overreacting. I got out of bed and shuffled to the kitchen, seeing Noah in the living room eating a bowl of cereal while watching Sports Center. “Good morning...” I said to him. He gave me a head nod. See? He won’t even acknowledge me as much anymore. Today was our 4 year anniversary and from the looks of it, he’s forgotten. “Anything you want to say?” I questioned in a slightly irritated tone feeling he’s forgotten. “Like what? Today’s Saturday. Nothing special.” He said again while still looking at the TV. I didn’t even say anything else. I didn’t like to argue with him so I went back upstairs and got back in the bed. I was done with him.
…

It was about 5:00 and I was still in the bed. I wasn’t in the mood to be bothered with since Noah had forgotten what today was. Another 20 minutes and Noah pokes his head in the door. “What?” I say to him in a tone that shows him I’m not happy with him. “Start getting ready.” He says standing in the door. “For what?” I turn away from him cause I’m not going anywhere with him. “Just start getting ready. Now. And dress…elegant.” I hate when he tries to boss me around, but I didn’t feel like arguing so I got up and started getting ready. Around 7 I was showered, my hair was done, my makeup was done, and I was putting on my dress. “Babe, hurry up. We’re going to be late!” he yelled from downstairs. “Late for what?! Noah, where are we going?” I yelled back while trying to buckle the buckles on my heels. “Don’t worry about that. Just please hurry up.” I heard him say. It’s obvious that he’s not going to tell me so I stopped trying. Once I got it buckled, I took one last look in the mirror. I had on a short black dress with black stiletto heels and my hair was in fluffy curls. As I walked down the stairs, the look on Noah’s face was the same look he had when he took me on our first date. “You look stunning, as always.” he said while taking my hand. “You look pretty handsome yourself.” I said back to him. He had on a grey cardigan and some black dress pants. We got in the car and drove off to his secret place. The car ride there was silent since I was still upset with him. When we finally pulled up to our destination, I realized it was the restaurant he brought me to when he asked to be his girlfriend. A small smile crept upon my face as we walked into the restaurant. “Reservation for Steel” he told the lady behind the computer. “Right this way” she said with a smile and we followed her to our table. Dim lighting, colored walls, low music, I love this restaurant. After we ordered, he got up to go to the bathroom. While he was gone, I saw a folded piece of paper in the seat. Being the nosey person that I am, I reached over and grabbed the paper to read it. I heart sank when I read the first line.

“I cheated. I’m sorry.”

When Noah came back from the bathroom, I was heated. “What the hell is this Noah?!” I yell shoving the note in his face. He looked shocked at first, but once he saw the note, he knew what I was talking about. “Babe liste-…” “No don’t ‘Babe’ me!” I cut him off. He tried to grab my hand, but I snatched it away. I turned away. “Who was it?” I said lowly. “What?” he said acting like he couldn’t hear me when he knew damn well he could. “Who was it with, Noah!?” I yelled at him. The whole restaurant was looking at us but I didn’t care. He took a deep breath. “When my friends and I went out one night, we got really drunk. This girl started forcing herself on me and I didn’t stop it.” He said while looking down. I couldn’t believe he would do this to me. “Really Noah? I trusted you! You promised you would never hurt me! On our anniversary too! I loved you, and I thought you loved me.” “I DO love you!” he said loudly back “No you don’t! If you loved me, you never would’ve gotten sloppy drunk and got with some skank off the street!” I yelled back. I was completely done with him. As I turned to walk out the restaurant, he grabbed me hand and pulled me towards him. “Please, don’t leave me. I’m sorry I cheated and I’m sorry I forgot.” he begged me. I snatched away from him. I was not about to be manipulated into staying with him after he cheated. “No Noah. I’m done.” I said while walking out the restaurant, leaving him there. I caught a cab to my mother’s house and on the way there I broke down crying.
…

The past few days I have been staying with my mother because I didn’t want to see Noah at all. I would have to face him eventually because I have to get my stuff out of his apartment. He’s left countless text, countless calls, and countless voicemails saying how sorry he is and how much he loves me. I’ve ignored them all. I didn’t want to hear it. The doorbell rang and when I answered it, I was shocked. It was Noah, but it didn’t look like the Noah that I know. His normally smooth hair was rough, he hadn’t shaved, and he looked like he hadn’t slept since the night I left him. “What Noah” I said ready to close the door. “Erykah, please. I’m sorry.” He said lowly. I didn’t want to hear it “Goodbye Noah.” I started closing the door. “Wait! Please listen. You are my first and only love. I know I messed up. I know I did. I know I’m probably about to lose the best thing that has ever walked into my life, but I don’t want that to happen. I’m not saying to take me back right away, but don’t shut me out forever. I can’t function without you. I can’t sleep knowing you’re not next to me. I’m losing my mind, Erykah. I need you. I love you. Please.” He said with red eyes. Tears started to build up in mines as well. I pulled him into a hug and he started bawling into my shoulder. “Now I’m saying I’m taking you back because I’m far from that, but I won’t shut you out. I won’t do that to you.” I said to him. It was going to take time for me to be able to trust him again, but he would always be my first love.