Fall of October 2012. That’s when my social life started being my number one priority. I had become MVP of my high school basketball team. It felt like my life had finally fallen into place. My grades were now high enough to make me more self-confident, which is something I had lacked before my sophomore year. That’s not all; another thing I can add to the long list of great things is my girlfriend Margaux. Margaux’s short blonde hair that what cut close to her jawline, and her blue eyes made all the other guys fall for her, but I was lucky enough to call her mine. To everyone we were the perfect couple; athletic, smart, good looking, popular, what more could you ask for? I remember the night I had asked her out, she wanted everyone to know right away so I had just done it at the Halloween party. Short and sweet, that’s how I remember it. And it was no shock to anyone that we were going out, after all it felt like we ran high school. Not long after that “Levi and Margaux” became the talk of the town.

~
One thing about Margaux and I’s relationship was that it wasn’t about two people just liking each other, it was more about all the other people liking us. Don’t get me wrong, she’s still my girlfriend, but sometimes I wish it could be less about the status and more about just us two. Language Arts happens to be my favorite class, and it’s also one of the few I have with Margaux. I sit down and start taking notes when I feel something hit my shoulder. A note… it says,

“Hey babe,
Whatcha doin later tonight, my parents won’t be home.
Xoxo Margaux”

Truth is, I’d love to hangout with her. But I wasn’t about to throw it back to her through a note so I planned on talking to her after class. I like talking to her alone, it’s basically the only privacy we get. The thing is, we’ve been dating for at least a month now and its almost December but things haven’t really changed. I was hoping when thanksgiving rolled around she would get to come to my house for dinner, but im worried that she doesn’t think its that serious yet. The bell rings and I run to her as she walks out the door. “Hey sorry I didn’t return the note, but yes id love to come over.”

“Good, be there at seven.”

She winks and turns away, as I watch her strut back to her locker I think about how many guys wish they could have her. I guess you could say I feel lucky, but I don’t know if I love her. In the past month you could say that we haven’t had much alone time, and when we did all she would talk about is her friends and their boyfriends. I just wanted a relationship where none of that stuff mattered; I wanted this relationship to be about Margaux and I.

~

I get to her house at exactly 7:03, ring the doorbell and out pop Margaux’s cute and charming face. “Come in!” she says opening her mouth revealing her white teeth and big smile. As I walk in I notice the huge TV on a brown wood cabinet that has the show Girl Code on from MTV playing. We make our way to the couch, “So where did your parents go?”

Margaux says with a laugh, “Oh, they had some party to go to. The usual ‘drink all night, get home at 4am’ kind of party.”

“Well isn’t that always fun…” By now I’ve leaned over and put my arm around her, hoping she’s comfortable. I stare at her eyes for a second wishing that she would see how hard I’m trying to get her to notice me. I run my fingers through her hair. Yup that did it, were now face-to-face looking in each others eyes. This is the first time I’ve felt any real connection with her. Our lips finally connect, but then she pulls away slowly and says, “I don’t want this relationship being about, you know, I actually want you to care about me.” I now start to get mad.

“Margaux, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’ve waited weeks to actually know that you like me. If it isn’t clear that I want to be with you than I don’t know what is. I’ve tried hard to get you to notice these little hints but I guess I failed.” I don’t know what got into me but I had to say it, sometimes I ten to speak without a filter. If I didn’t tell her now I might as well never, but what she said next really shocked me.

“Your signs? I’ve noticed I just haven’t reacted.”

What makes her think she has the nerve to say this? I’ve been trying so hard to be the best boyfriend possible and yet I guess it hasn’t worked. By now I’ve been sitting here for a few minutes and had time to calm down.

“I don’t know what you expect me to do, but I’m willing to fix this only if you are.”

“Levi, you mean a lot to me and of course I am. Can we start fresh?”

I really want to say yes, but I’m making this too easy.

“We can try it, but I’m over this act to try and make us more popular. This is our relationship and if you can keep us more private from now on that’s all I ask.”

I look back into her eyes, and try to make everything the same as it was before our arguing. I go in for another kiss, this time she doesn’t pull away. We continue till the night ends expressing our love for each other until I’m forced to leave. When I get home I sit and just think about the night. Its crazy how things can go from on the verge of breaking up and then go right back to being normal. But hey, I can’t complain.