When life passes you by, you cannot get it back. When it is your time to go there is no arguing. You have to bite the bullet and let go. Stop holding on and never say you are sorry, it is a sign of weakness. My fathers rules were always in my head, everywhere I go I hear his voice. Never go anywhere without a knife and always look for the good in people. My father passed away 10 years ago. You would think I would have moved on by now, but when I constantly hear his voice in my head the pain feels new again.
I go to cross the street, but before I can even get to the road I hear, Always remember to look both ways, twice. My Ipod plays the song Where Were You by Alan Jackson and I cross the street at the first crosswalk. Before I get to the other side I have started to cry. I quickly change the song and try to suck up the pain, even though it is hard. My father passed away in 911, he was a single parent and a firefighter. My mother passed away in child labor. I have been in and out of foster homes sense I was 10 and my grandparents passed away. I ran away and also bit one of them at the age of 12. We will just say that it has been hard losing everyone.
I was never like the kids in my school anyways, but now it is even worse. I am not saying I do not have friends, I do, just not a lot. I am the girl in the back of the class. The one who never raises her hand or volunteers. The one that jumps and freaks out when her names is called. Think about it we all know what I am talking about. The perfect wallflower. The one that sees and hears, but is never seen or heard.
By the time I get to school I went straight to the bathroom. I had re-apply my make-up after crying on the way here. That is all I got to do because the bell rang. I never get to school early, there is way to many people. I headed to my first class which happened to be choir with my best friend Bridget, who is my polar opposite. She never has a bad day and no matter what she can always make me smile. I got out my choir folder and was trying to collect my thoughts, when all the sudden.
"Jen!" Bridget yelled a crossed the room, she was wearing a frilly pink and black skirt with a black and white Doctor Who shirt tucked in. Lets just say she is a major Doctor Who fan. "I am happy to tell you that I just ordered a Tardis Dress!" She said hugging me from behind.
"Yay?" I replied with a crooked smile on my face, which were my specialty.
"It's so cool!" She said jumping up and down, while trying to get her choir folder out. Let me point out that it was not working. Once she stopped jumping she successfully pulled out her folder and set her back pack next to mine. She put her arm around my shoulders and we walked to the last risers on the opposite side of the room. "I love this class!" Bridget squealed. The bell rang for the second time and just like clock work Garrett Thompson came strolling through the door.
"You're late Mr. Thompson."
"Sorry Mr. Rye. I will try better next time." Garret said, this happened everyday so we all knew he was lying. Garrett is six foot and wears denim jeans. He is not a bad kid, but he is not a great kid either. Bridget and I are soprano's while Garrett and his friend Adam were tenors. He goes to his riser and we lock eyes for a few seconds. Can you say awkward? Bridget leans over to me slowly.
"Okay, I hate to say this, but I think Adam is really cute." We looked at the two of them and they fist bump. I cannot help, but think 'Lame'. I look at my friend who has drifted off into dream land and I laugh silently. My two hour class went by so quickly, when the bell rang I think we all jump a little. I go to a private school in the small town of Cloverdale, Oregon. Not one with a fancy dress code or anything, but we do specialize in the arts. Yes we have math and history, but we also have fun classes like creative writing and yoga! My classes consist of choir, music, creative writing, drama, math, and forensic science. Everybodies six classes span a two day period. School also only goes till about 1pm.
I put my folder in my messenger bag and headed out the door, after saying goodbye to Mr. Rye the choir teacher. My next class was music. I play piano and my teacher is Mr. Davis one of the three piano teachers. Our school has at least one teacher for instrument played. The only bad thing about having Mr. Davis is that he was on the other side of the school.
"What class do you have next?" I heard from behind, but I ignored it knowing it was not for me. Garrett ran up and grabbed my shoulder, which made me jump. "Touchy, touchy." He put his hands up in the air signaling defeat. I slowly examined my scene before talking. The hallway was narrow and the walls a dark brown. I looked my associate up and down. He is wearing denim jeans and black and white sneakers. His red shirt was quite funny, it read 'Here I am! What are your other 2 wishes?' I laughed silently.
"I... Have... Um." I fumbled to put words together. "Have to go!" I blurted and quickly walked away. Mr. Davis smiled when I walked in the piano room. The room was bare except for a Grand piano in the middle and two chairs. All the piano rooms look the same. Plain brown walls with light brown sound proof padding on them.
"Did you practice what you learned last week?"
"I did. Can I ask you a favor Mr. Davis?"
"Of course you can Jennifer."
"Will you listen to the song I wrote?" Mr. Davis then gestured to the piano. When I sat down it was if all the concerns of the day just drifted away. I was here at the piano and nothing else mattered. The song I played was about a girl falling for some guy. When I finished I stood up and gave a bow. He clapped so I guess it must have been good.
"You have come so far sense we first started." He paused. "Jennifer there is a student who wants to start learning the piano, but none of the teachers have room left. Would it be to much to ask if you tried to take them on after school?" Mr. Davis gave me an encouraging look as I pondered my thoughts. "It will be good for you Jennifer. Get you out of this shell you have created." I was unable to speak so I just shook my head yes.
After I thought about it I should have said no, but Mr. Davis was right this could be good for me. The rest of class went by pretty quickly, actually all of school went by in a blur. At the end of school I went back to the piano room after calling my foster parents from the schools phone telling them I had an after school activity today.
I walked into the piano room to find that no one was inside. I put my bag down by the door and went to the piano. I sat in the chair and began to play the song I had written. When I finished I stood up and I heard clapping from behind me. I tried to turn around, but tripped between the chair and my own feet. I closed my eyes and expected to hit the floor, but when I didn't I opened my eyes. I saw a familiar face staring down at me with a smile.
"You should really try to be more careful. You could end up hurting yourself." Garrett said lifting me up back to my feet. I looked to the door where Mr. Davis was standing and not to mention laughing. I sent him a quick glare and then found my footing again. I then walked over to him.
"What is he doing here?" I whispered looking back at Garrett who was walking around the piano, looking quite amazed with the instrument.
"He is your..." He paused, I am guessing to find the right word. "Mr. Thompson is your protege if you will."
"I am sorry Mr. Davis I don't think I can do this." I said looking at Garrett again and back to Mr. Davis.
"Just give him a chance Jennifer." Mr. Davis said looking down at me. He then put his hand on my shoulder. "You might have more in common then you think. I have to go and run some errands, I will be back later." Mr. Davis turned and walked out the door leaving me alone with my student?
"I am... Um." I hesitated. "My name is... Um. Jennifer." I finally got out and tried to avoided his eye contact, like maybe that would make this go away. Apparently I was wrong because he replied.
"I'm Garrett." He said with a smile and held out his hand. I looked up at him and back down to his hand that was stretched out in front of me. "You shake it." He chuckled. "No?" He said dropping his hand. "Okay, lets just dive on in, shall we?" He said plopping down in the chair by the piano.
"That is..." I paused. "Where the instructor sits." I pointed to the chair in front of the piano. "You sit there."
"I was hoping you could play something first."
"Why Me?" I said as my heartbeat started to race and my hands started to get all sweaty.
"Well you are my instructor, also what you played earlier was amazing and I would love to hear more." His brown eyes sparkled with excitement. I blushed and turned away to go to my messenger bag and get my choir folder because it had the perfect song. I pulled out the song Pretty Saro arranged by Nancy Boone Allsbrook and Glenda Goodin, a song we learned in choir last semester.
"I will play if you sing with me." I said quietly.
"It would be my honor." I sat in front of the piano and began to play the into. By the time the words came I was so submerged in the music that the words just sort of came out of me without thinking.

Down in some lone valley in a lonesome place
Where the wild birds do whistle and the larks do increase,
Fare well pretty Saro I bid you adieu
All I'll dream of pretty Saro where-ever I go.

After the song was over and I realized what I just did, I tried to stand. When I got up the room started to spin and wobble. I started to get black spots in my vision and felt my body start to go backwards, but I could not stop it. I never felt myself make contact with the floor or anything else for that matter. I was out cold.
I jolted awake, not knowing where I was or whether or not I was safe. I sat up quickly, to quickly I might add. I was really dizzy, but I finally realized I was in my bedroom. I looked around, but did not see much. There is a desk which is covered with papers and a bedside table with a lamp and Ipod stand which doubles as my alarm clock. The walls are a light blue with white trim. I also have a darker blue for my bed spread and my brown tebby bear by my pillow.
I have lived in this house for 4 years now and my 'foster parents' are super nice. I should really start saying my 'to be' parents, seeing how Mr. and Mrs. Gibbs put in the papers to adopt me. Mr. Gibbs or Jeff is a composer, or in other words he writes music for famous singers, manly country artist. Jeff is not terrible short, he is about 5'9" but he is shorter then Mrs. Gibbs. He has sandy blonde hair with eyes the color of the sky and glasses that rested on his perfectly sized nose.
Mrs. Gibbs or April is a novelist and has written 3 books so far. She has long brown hair and deep brown eyes that can see into your soul. She is about 5'9 3/4". She has an amazing sense of humor and has a perfect wink. At least that is what Jeff tells me. I pull myself out of bed and walk into the living room. To my surprise I found my 'to be' parents and Garrett who was asleep in the teal arm chair on the other side of the room.
"Jennifer dear, how are you feeling?" April said looking up from Jeff with a smile.
"I am fine April, thanks for asking." I paused. "What is he doing here?" I pointed to Garrett.
"He asked to stay until you woke up." Jeff answered turning to look at me. April and Jeff stood after balancing off each other.
"What do you think we should have for dinner mon chapton?" Jeff lived in France for two years for collage before coming back and marring his high school sweetheart April.
"Anything you cook is good enough for me, mon amour." April replied, you learn many love phrases in this house. Such as Mon Ange, Mon Chapton, Mon Amour, Ma Luoloute. They translate to my angle, my kitten, my love, and my honeypie. "Jennifer dear, will you watch our company." April asked as she followed Jeff into the kitchen to make something for dinner.
I sat on the couch against the west wall. I looked around the living room which was sort of narrow. I sat on a soft brown couch which was on the opposite side of the room as the TV. The teal arm chair was off the other side of the TV and there was a window on the north wall. Not long after Jeff and April went into the kitchen Garrett began to wake up. He stretched his arms up and his legs out. He then paused and looked around before locking eyes with me.
"How are you feeling?" He asked sitting up in the arm chair.
"Fine."
"You don't talk a lot do you?" I looked down at the floor.
"No."
"Your parents seem nice."
"Their not my parents!" My got flustered and stormed out of the room. It might have been immature, but it was easier then telling him why I got so angry.
"Jennifer dear, what happened? Are you alright?" April's voice came ringing through my door. Honestly she was one of the last people I wanted to talk to right now.
"Go away! It's not like your my mother!" I yelled through the door as I fell to my bed and laid my now wet face on the pillow. A hour or so went by when there was a knock on my door. I rolled off my bed to open it. As I did I stated to talk.
"April I didn't..." I trailed off seeing how it was not April standing in front of me.
"Hi." I slammed the door manly from the shock of seeing Garrett standing there. "Jen open up."
"No, go away." I said through the door.
"I just want to talk to you."
"I don't talk a lot remember!" I said louder and with more anger this time.
"Please." His voice was soft through the door. "I can't even start to understand what you have gone through, but I just lost my dog. I know that is no where near losing your family, but I am just saying I know what it is like to lose someone you care about. It's hard, but you can't shut people out forever."
"I can try, right?" I sighed. "I don't let people in because I am afraid of losing them." I place my hand on the door and laid my forehead on it also.
"I will never leave you." I lifted my head and opened the door. My eyes were filled with more tears. No one had ever said that to me. He would NEVER leave me. I did the only thing I could think to do and that was hug him. So I did.
A year passed sense that night at my door and Garrett has kept his promise. We were inseparable, he never left me. Jeff and April's papers went through and I was officially adopted. We have become a lot closer, but I was still unable to call them mom and dad. That girl I used to be is gone now. Well not totally, she is part of who I am and that will never change.
I am getting out of this shell I created years ago. The song I wrote was featured in a city wide competition and I won! Adam and Bridget eventually found each other not to mention Mr.Davis and Miss Day the drama teacher. Everyone was happy, but kind of freaked out by the whole thing. Today Garrett and I are making dinner for Jeff, April, Bridget, and Adam.
"Hey Garrett." I said. He turned from the stove and I shoved a handful of cool whip in his face. Lets just say I was laughing so hard and I let it show.
"You really want to go there?" He teased. He got the cool whip off his face and into his hand. I tried to get away, but he rapped his arm around my waist and wiped the cool whip all over my face. "Do you surrender?" He laughed.
"I surrender!" I put my hands up in defeat. The rest of the night went by in a blur. That is until Garrett went to leave, that I will never forget. We walked outside and down to the sidewalk.
"Okay, I guess I will see you tomorrow." He said. I looked up at him then hugged him. "Bye."
"Bye." I replied. I turned back towards the house and that is when I heard it. The screech. The thud. The halt. It was an out of body experience. I see myself turning around and running towards the car, to Garrett who is on the ground. Then I am back in my body, just like that.
"Mom! Dad!" I yell as loud as I can for Jeff and April. They come running out of the house. "Garrett's been hit by a car!" I yell almost crying. Jeff fumbles for his phone and calls 911. The ambulance came and took Garrett to the hospital. Jeff and April quickly got us to the hospital as well. Once we were able to see him, we did, but he was asleep.
I walk in slowly and sit in the arm chair next to the bed. The heart monitor beats with his pulse. A nurse came in about two hours later.
"I am sorry, but you have to leave now." I looked up at her with red eyes.
"Please ma'am, I can't leave him." After pleading for a couple minutes she changed her mind. "I'll see you tomorrow." April hugged me. "Mom." I said hugging her twice as hard. "Bye guys." I waved as they left. I sat back down in the arm chair. A while later I laid my head on the bed next to Garrett and I was not quite out when I heard a moan. Garrett leaned over kissed my head and said.
"I said I would never leave you mon ange and I meant it."



The End