IT was half past three in the morning, eyes swollen from all the crying, lying on the bed, thinking about how the past few months have been.
She loved him more than herself, more than she has ever loved anyone, anyone. For two years. Tears trickled down to the pillow beneath her head when she realized that he doesn’t, probably never will.
He was her world, her best friend, her strength and her weakness. He made her cry, yet his name is enough to bring a genuine smile on her face, the feeling of love and warmth inside her. She knew she could tell him everything and anything, be it how messed up he is to how much he means to her, yet it was so difficult to just say those three words.
It all started when she was talking to her best friend, over the phone, arguing about how he isn’t kiddish and now amazing he his, the question was ‘You like him, don’t you?’, not a single word came out of her mouth, the realization dawned upon her, yes, she did like him, maybe he was just a crush, maybe he was something more.
She came to know him through a common friend, on ,28th august 2011. He annoyed the heck out of her, called her an angry bird, in reply to which she called him the green pig, they were each other’s kuchie muchie pumpkins. He would walk her back home from her classes, whenever he could, somewhere between those walks, those fights, the jokes, the cute names, she fell for him, when she looked at him, she could make sense of the word ‘perfect’. How could anyone not love him, she thought to herself, every other day, every other night. His smile, his dimple, his hair, his voice, his eyes mesmerized her, she couldn’t think of anyone or anything other than him. He was her baby, someone she wanted to protect, whose happiness she prayed for.
15th may, 2013 they fought about how they had drifted apart, how she no longer shared everything with him, how she was more closer to his best friend, and she fought back with how he went to meet her good friend but didn’t have the time to meet her. How could she tell him that moving away from him were her fail attempts to forget what she felt for him, how she didn’t want her feelings to spoil their friendship, for her, him being there beside her was more important than dating her, he was her support system. She couldn’t let go him, nor did he let go of her. They fought over the same issue over and over, since September 2012, till the very day he left for college, thousands of miles away from Dubai, to Toronto.
She knew she had to tell him all the reasons, he deserved to know them, but she never got the courage to do so, but when she saw him for the last time, she broke down. The tears didn’t stop flowing, she cried like a kid who got lost, cause that’s what she was without him around, lost. What if he changes once he leaves, what if he doesn’t keep in contact, what if he finds someone better than me there, she wondered. She couldn’t risk it, she just knew it was the time to tell him what she felt for him, there was nothing to lose.
That night she waited for him to come online, she never thought she would tell him all this until she saw him for the last time, nor did she have the courage to tell all this on his face, she had to do it online. Finally when he came online, she told him everything. Her feelings, her explanations to all the fights, his place in her heart and life, everything. Tears trickled down his cheeks, guilty for yelling at her, being rude to her, fighting with her. He apologized to her for his behavior, telling her how he felt he was losing his importance in her life to his best friend, and how much lucky he was to have her and how much he loved her. Both of them spent the night crying and regretting the time they wasted fighting over petty issues. But there was nothing that could be done, it was his last night in the Emirates, he would be in a different continent the following day, miles away from her.
The next morning she woke up to his call, his last call before he left the country. Hesitantly she answered the call, unsure of what to say. He asked her if she would have told him all this even if he wasn’t leaving, she replied with a ‘no, I didn’t know how you’d react’, he asked her for how long did their common bestie know this, she said 7 months, a little part of his heart broke thinking about how different could things be had he known this earlier. Maybe God didn’t want them to talk for long, within a couple of minutes his phone stopped working and he had to board his flight. Yes, that was their last conversation before he left.
4 years passed by, she was still single, still waiting for her first love to be hers, still in love with him, her baby. On the other side of the world, unknowingly he was falling for her more and more every single day. Finally the day came when she left for Toronto to complete her Masters. Excited for her new life in a new country, excited to see him after years.
4th August 2017, four years, one month, 24 days later, they met each other. Both felt so complete when they hugged, neither of them wanted to let go of the other. They spent the evening together having coffee, walking along the sea shore, telling each other how they missed having the other one around in human form cause virtual communication just wasn’t enough. 9:42 pm they stood outside her building’s entrance, saying goodbye when he suddenly pulled her close, placed his lips on her, and kissed her, pulled back and said ‘I love you. You’re my world, and I cannot lose you ever again. Please be mine. Forever. Till our last breath and beyond.’, tears flooded her eyes when she nodded, saying a yes cause uttering a word seemed so difficult.
22nd September, 2022, she was crying and yelling in pain. Labor pain. She gave birth to their twins, a boy and a girl. With them, their family was complete, with him, she was complete.