She walked with him to their lockers, her mind tracing the letters of the words she wanted to say. “I.” She started, muttering to quietly that not a soul could hear her words. The first letter stood for herself, the first half of the equation that put the two of them together, summing them up to make something worthwhile. “L.” L? She questioned it in her head. It was the beginning, beginning of the word that represented everything, everything of their touch and emotion. The beginning of their relationship, the beginning of them. “O.” O, a circle. A never ending object, the shape with no end. It fit the shape of their relationship, a circle, with ups and downs, but in the end curving around continuously. They would always be in that circle. “V.” V? It’s an odd letter. The sharpest sound in the word, the point in it, the climax. It was the point were they knew they loved each other, and it was oncoming, but not yet arrived. “E.” The end of that special word, tying it together like what the word did to their souls. They were connected by mind, body, and spirit by the word ended by E. “Y.” Y is a question. Why? Y? Why not? Her life was filled with questions, with choices answers and abilities, her choice to stay with him, her choice to love him, her wishes and wants that were always fresh in her mind. “O.” Another circle, forming a weel this time, that when spun, moved forwards, extending them in their knowledge of each other and in their love. “U.” The last letter that represented him, and as she let the vowel slip from her lips, she closed her locker, turning to face him.
And then stopped herself.
And at the end of the day she wrote her unspoken words in a letter.
“I love you. And I am unable to say it, the simple three-word, collection of letters that gives you all of me. You’re everything, you are the snow days and the skating dates, you’re everything we ever did together. You’re worth the gunshot wound, the blow that would have killed you. I would not have been able to live if it had been you hit. If you died, it would have meant my suicide. All I want is to tell you these three words, and, my love, someday you will hear them. I’m afraid just not today.”