I’m eleven years old. I have dark blonde hair and baby, blue eyes. This town I live in is kind of boring, nothing good really happens here. Playing a game on my computer I looked outside my frosted window and spotted a moving truck, followed by two cars, one black and one sliver. A new girl moved in across the street. She was so beautiful, nothing I have ever seen. She looks like she is a year younger than I am. I need to know her name, so I went over to her house, knocked on the door, and introduced myself to her.
“Hello,” I said quietly. “My name is Alan.”

“Hi, my name is Anastasia. It’s nice to meet you, but I have to go inside to finish unpacking. I’ll see you later, Alan.”

She had the most beautiful black hair and smile I have ever seen. The next day, I saw her at school. She was in the same class as me and sat right next to me. She was super smart and very talented. Inside the classroom, there was a color wheel she always looked at. I didn’t know why, but I never asked her. We walked home together all the time, and we always had ice cream at her house.

We always had classes together, until we got to high school. She was put in honor classes. When I got to high school, I started hanging out with different people- more like trouble makers. I got into weed. It felt so magnificent; the high just takes you right off your feet into a different world. No worries, but I had one fear. What would Anastasia think about my new habit? Oh well, she can’t tell me to stop. But one day, the most unexpected thing present itself, Anastasia asked me out, and I said yes.

But, I got into things way worse than weed. Every day, I’m pissed at the world, and quite frankly I don’t give a crap. I gave up in school because I got behind. I didn’t want to make it up, so I slept in every class. I started taking pain killers so I could feel better and they could ease my pain, like numbness every day. I was in my own world filled with drugs and hate. Anastasia and I only text a little bit and I can tell she’s mad at me for doing this to myself. I can’t help it that they make me feel better than I do without them. But, two things happened within a day and had a course ready to explode. I got arrested because I got caught doing drugs on private property.

This jail cell is cold, no room to breathe or speak. Why am I here? I have to be trapped in this insignificant cube, separated from all wakes of life forms. I’m sixteen and have a record, already. I was told that being in here for eight months, would fix my drug problem. Inside this jail, or youth prison, I only kept to myself, sitting in my cell, writing letters to Anastasia. She only wrote back one time and never came to see me. In her letter, I only remember one line, “Fix your drug problem and your behavior, or you won’t be with me anymore.” This sentence was harsh but true, but that’s when I finally realized I loved her. I never knew it until now, and I don’t want to lose her. She is the best person in my life and she stayed no matter what I did. She wasn’t afraid to tell me how she felt about me being in this lifeless cell, with nothing to do but think about my life. She’s mine.

I got out early for good behavior. Anastasia was standing outside the prison doors in her blue, winter coat. She just turned sixteen, and she looked so beautiful, that it made my heart melt. I had to tell her how I felt about her, but she beat me to it.

“I missed you,” she said softly. “If you weren’t caught doing drugs, I don’t think you would’ve stopped even if I had a very long and deep conversation with you, heart to heart. Many things could’ve happened to you, like you could have over dosed and died and I would have never seen you again. You would’ve left me all by myself.”

“I know,” I said, looking at the ground. “I didn’t want to think you felt this way when I did drugs, but you know what, you were there and you showed me some tough love. It taught me a very valuable lesson about howr fragile you are and how fragile life really is. I want to thank you for showing me that and telling me what you did, even if I really didn’t want to read it, I kept reading that one sentence over and over. I’ll be with you forever.”
“You don’t have to thank me. Just think of it now as a new beginning, that nice and friendly boy I met the day I moved to this town. The one who was always there for me and protected me from people verbally abusing me about my weight and you telling me I’m perfect no matter what they think.”
On the way home I could not stop thinking about how much she has done. She made me realize that I have found the one person I want to be with forever, no matter what happens. As we pull into my driveway, I ran inside to ask my mom where my grandmother’s ring was that she gave me. She gave me this ring the day she had passed and told me to give it to the girl I marry and make the mother of my children. I promised her I will. I think I have found her, but I am pretty sure I did find her. She is right across the street. I picked up the ring, put in the box, and put it in my coat pocket. Walking across the street to her house, my heart was racing, a never ending nervous beat. She was walking out of the door as I walked up the three steps to her front door.
“You always have the right things to say, don’t you? I like it. You’re beautiful.”
“You’re handsome.”
“Marry me?”
“What?”
I got down on one knee and asked her again. “Will, you marry me?”
I got the ring box out of my coat pocket and opened it. I want her to have my last name, forever. She became speechless as I opened the black cube, holding the ring safe from harm’s way. I looked up at her face, she had both hands clasped around her month and a tear was gliding down her right, soft check. She shook her head, signaling the answer, yes. As I put the ring on her finger, her face was turning red, like she was blushing endlessly. The orange glow from the sunset, made her features stand out even more.
Four years later, it was finally time for her to have my last name. The church was filling up with the one hundred and fifty guests we invited. I can’t wait to see her walk down this aisle. I surprised her with pink diamond earrings to wear with her dress. It was hard for her to hide her dress from me and keep it a secret. People were making their way to their seats. The groom’s men were taking their place in line behind me, and the bridesmaids started walking down the aisle in the red dresses. Red is my favorite color. She read me like a book. The music started playing, and the doors opened. She looked so beautiful in her white form fitted dress at the top and Cinderella like on the bottom. It was a good choice of a dress she picked out, but she always had a good sense in fashion. Her face looked as smooth as a baby’s bottom, and her brown eyes were so pretty. As she walked towards me, she never looked at anything else but me. Her eyes were fixed on me. I took her hand as she got to me, turned to the priest to marry us. He did.
We are now happily married to each other and it’s a dream come true. About three months after our wedding, Anastasia got into beauty school. It’s want she wanted to get into and do after high school. She was so happy doing what she loved to do. After her first day of school, she came home with her arms covered in bright colors. We cuddled up close every night after she made me dinner. I love it how she falls asleep in my arms next to me, laying on my chest, really close. She told me she feels like I’m protecting her from nightmares when she’s sleeping. But, she woke up one night screaming in pain. We rushed to the hospital and found out she was going into labor. We had no idea she was pregnant, but not just with one child but with twins. We were proud, unexpected parents to twins, one boy and one girl.
Many years have pasted and the kids are all grown up, but Anastasia has been having pain in her left breast. She went to the doctor and after she told me to come to the doctor’s office right away. She had breast cancer. My heart dropped, but she said not to worry. I still did. After a few months of treatments, the doctors said she will be just fine. She died October 18, 2010. I could feel my heart beat fade away in my chest; however, I was still walking away in tears. The planning, however, was terrible. I couldn’t stand on my own two feet. I feel like all the life was sucked out of me, not even an ounce left. I don’t understand, the doctors said she was going to be alright, the treatments worked. What went wrong? I don’t understand. How could this happen?
It’s time to plan her funeral. Yes, this will be terrible. I have to do it though, I’m her husband. I have to be strong, no matter what. This is for her I want to be perfect even if I don’t want to. I have to.
The funeral home was a mile away, now. The sky was covered in grey clouds, no light showing, sun hidden, and no blue sky. I have arrived here, seeing family, friends, co-workers, and the picture of her and me. She told me we would die together, holding each other’s hands, side-by-side. The priest saw me, now and nodded. It was time.

Taking my seat, trying not to look, looking at the floor, I took a deep breath. I looked up and saw the beautifully, hand-crafted, brightly-colored, bouquet of flowers. She liked bright colors. My darling, best-friend, childhood friend, wife, is in this rectangular prism, cold, life-less, stiff. I miss her voice, laugh, soft skin, how her hair felt, the way she sleeps on me, how she concentrates doing her homework, everything, but most of all, I miss her being by my side.
I’m lonely, all by myself. Our bed will be empty. Damn! This is hard, but I know she’ll always be with me somehow, somewhere, something. The priests asked me if I wanted to say some things about my wife. I slowly got out of my seat and approached the spot where the priest was standing.

“Anastasia, my dear Anastasia. You’re so talented, with the way you play your flute and have ideas for your make-up looks. You’re so adorable when you dance in the bathroom when you get ready to face the day, swaying your hips from sides to side. I’ve told her that countless times. She lit up my world, changed it for the better, I wouldn’t be where or who I am today without her. She’s my pride and joy. I married her and started a family with her. She was a good mother. She was always there for me and most of all our kids. I know I can only remember her in my dreams and seeing in pictures, now. But, you know, these were the best years in my damn life. Sleep well, babe. We’ll be together soon.” I told everyone, with tears running down my checks.

I’m the last to leave the grave site, and her scent is still swirling around freely in the car. The house is empty, cold, and lonely. Her side of the bed was empty, not even her body imprint left. I’m so alone. How could she leave? She promised.

Many days have passed since she became an angel. I’ve turned to this newly, pure, addicting substance. It enters my body every day, and it gives me such a rush. I know that Anastasia would disapprove, but it’s the only thing I’ve got left to look forward too. I know I should stop but my craving keeps growing; I now do it more than once a day. This monster has many ways for me to come back to it.

I sit on the bed, injecting the cold, harmful, clear substance into my warm body. It feels cold, running through my veins, finding every inch, never missing anything, always hitting the right spots, taking away this pain. A black shadow starts to cave into the room.

“Dream,” I said to myself. Dream one more, sweet dream of her beautiful face light up in the moonlight.”

My eyes opened, and I’m confused. The walls are white, tubes connected to my flesh, needles in my arms, liquids entering my system. There’s a patch on my chest, connected to the screen, rating my heart. I turned to the right, by the doorway, only to see what I thought was gone. Her silky, black hair was pulled back, and she was in her school uniform, arms covered in bright colors. Lights bright, window open, birds singing, it was summers way of saying “hello.” As she walked closer, I could see the lines where the tears had ran down her soft checks.

I’m alright. There’s no need to cry.” I told her.

“I know you’re alright. I was…I was just worried sick about you.” She replied.

“I’m alright. I promise. But I have to ask you a question. How…how did I end up here, in this bed, connected to so many tubes?”

“When the doctors called me, I was working on a client. They left me a message, and I checked it when I took my lunch break. In the message they left, they said you got into an accident…the firefighters had to use the “jaws of life” to get you out of the car. I called the doctors back right away after I listened to it. They said that you had some blood loss…”

She kept talking, but I can’t come to this reality. I’m just amazed by her presence. I could touch her hand again, feel her soft skin, and smell her scent she always leaves in the car. I felt this strange, stitched pattern on my stomach. I lifted up the blanket, only to find an incision had been made and stitched back up.

“You had internal bleeding. A piece of metal from the truck that hit you punctured your stomach; you had emergency surgery, so they could stop the bleeding and take the piece of metal out.”

The doctors came into my room, checking the charts, changing the bag of blood and medicine. Anastasia stayed with me, reading and doing homework on the table across the room. She opened her laptop, turned it one, and typed in the password. I asked the nurse to get her coffee when Anastasia disappeared into the bathroom. Anastasia came out, saw the coffee by her laptop, walked over to me, and kissed me, thanking me. I watched her as I slowly drifted into my dream world. She woke me up when she had to leave for school. I lay there, looking at the white walls, white floor, white ceiling, and white sheets, white everything. There wasn’t a splash or hint of color, just the color white.

I got up and went to the bathroom. The floor was warm and soft. This was very nice hospital. After I splashed cold water on my face, my wounds were healed but only now they’re scars. Anastasia found me in the bathroom. She looked at me and smiled.

“Welcome home.” She told me.

“I’ve been home from the start.” I replied, kissing her soft lips.

She took my hand and smiled. I looked into the mirror, staring down at our lifeless bodies.