Juliet, my dear Juliet. I have ruined my life, it is torn into shambles because I was coaxed into brawling with Tybalt. Well not coaxed because he was insulting me. But I still killed him. Balthazar had already told me about my dear Juliet’s death, how she had been found dead before her wedding. He told me that she was supposed to marry Paris and that the wedding was to take place today. Why would she marry him if she already has married me? Does she not love me? Maybe it is for the best, she should at least be happy now that I am exiled. Even if it is not something that I would like, she deserves the best and he is a wonderful man.
“Romeo, art thou alright? Thy looks appears somber and thou has been silent ever since I told thee of thy love’s death.” How does he think I am? Would he no feel so sad, so depressed if someone that he held dearest to him died before their life has even begun? I doubt it.
“I am fine, dost thou know how mine lady died?” He shook his head.

We were ridding, ridding to an apothecary. When I told him of my plan he prayed that I was making jest, he actually got down on one knee in front of a church and prayed. But when he looked upon me he saw not an inkling of humor. His face went pale and he tried to change my mind.
“Oh wilt thou not listen to reason? Self-destruction? Oh my friend wilt thou not abandon this vile idea that hath possessed you? Wilt thou not retire back to thine own bed, to thine home?” My mind was filled with the thought of my love, next to her dead and rotting ancestors. They would probably be bones, some might even be ashes. The thought chilled me and sent pain up and down my spine. Tybalt would be buried there as well. I though about the last seconds before I killed him. I felt sadness, anger, hatred and rage towards him because he killed someone that I cared about. I should have died and not my friend. But underneath the hatred and anger I also feel horrified because I killed him. When it was the last thing that I wanted to do. He is my cousin and I killed him. I deserve to be banished, I deserve to be miserable for the rest of my life. But now my life is unbearable.

Normally people would think someone mad for even having the thought of suicide cross their minds, for even a second.
“My lord, we have arrived at the apothecary, as you requested.” Balthazar told me, pointing to the old and rundown structure, reeking of poverty, that I remembered seeing before.






***

I am so close to death yet it seems so far away. Will I not be happy after I die? Will I not be with my love, the person that I would give up my life for? If so then why do I feel unwilling to leave? Why do I feel hesitation upon drinking the substance that would give me relief and peace? I thought. My mind was fighting a war, what I wanted, what I needed, and what was logical. Would it really be wrong to just die? Who would miss me, who would really miss me? My family would miss me! That is who! I should just leave, that would be the sane thing to do. But it would also be the most painful thing to do. My thoughts were making my head explode. They made my head pound so much and it seemed to be a drum beating in a fast and loud rhythm. Such as the one that is played to give courage to soldiers.

I was opening the tomb when I heard a sound, someone was coming up behind me.
“Montague, thou art a villain. Thou comes to disturb the spirits even after death! For that offence thou wilt die!” It was Paris, he was supposed to marry Juliet before she died.
“Thou knows only part of this tragic tale. I only intent to put my sad and restless spirit at ease. Wilt thou not let me die in peace?” I asked. He just seemed more outraged and offended than he already was.
“Thou wilt die by the people’s hand, if not mine own!” He unsheathed his rapier and was coming at me with all of his power. His blows missed but I could hear the whoosh it made when it missed me. I did not draw because I did not want to fight him. He did not do anything to injure me. He fell in love with my wife, he is as mad and sad as I am. I pitied him because we had something in common, we both lost someone that we cared about.
“Wilt thou leave me be? I beseech thee sir, let me die in peace.” I pleaded, but he just kept coming at me.
“I wilt let thee die, die in millions of minute pieces!” he yelled at me. I still did not pick up my rapier because I did not want to harm him.
“Romeo, my boy!” I heard friar Laurence from a distance. He was running towards me. Then stopped in his tracks when he saw Paris.
“Art thou overjoyed to see this monster alive and in Verona, Father?!” Paris yelled at friar Laurence. You could hear the disgust and hatred in his voice dripping out with every word.
“Thou dost not know everything my young county. Wilt thou let me explain this situation?” Friar Laurence’s tone was light but you could also hear a sense of urgency ringing in his voice. Paris nodded, irritated but with some respect towards this holy man, and we both followed him into the tomb. As soon as I saw Juliet, lifeless but still bewitchingly beautiful, my heart pounded in my chest, my eyes were fixed on her and only her. There was no Paris or the friar, not even the dead bodies, just my Juliet, beautiful even after death has wrapped her in his midnight black cloak and dragged her soul into the underworld. May Pluto be kind and, when I die, let me be with you. Then I heard a noise come from somewhere inside. I was still looking at Juliet when noticed that she had slowly moved, just a tiny bit.. Oh my goodness, my lady love lives. She has conquered death and returned to the land of the living.
“Oh comfortable friar, I know well where I should be and here I am. Oh, where is my lord? Where is my Romeo?” Her voice was soft and she seemed to be comatose. Her eyes were sleepy as if she had just been asleep and not dead.
“Oh my god! How canst one that hath died, return?” Paris was surprised. His hand covered his mouth and his eyes were wide in awe.
“Doth thou see now why thy brawl would have been pointless?” Friar Laurence scolded us. We both nodded and I took a few steps towards Juliet. She looked at me and smiled. Her arms were outstretched to greet me and I wrapped my arms around her. I stroked her hair and kissed her. Tears were running down my cheeks. It seemed like a long time before Paris separated us and then punched me in the mouth. It was so hard that I could feel a drop of blood on the lower lip of my mouth, we were all still in the tomb. That hit dragged me back to reality, there were other people with us.

Then I saw the prince come into the tomb. He was looking right at me and pointing his sword to my neck. He started yelling at me, calling me a villain. Then he slid his eyes towards Juliet. His face turned a pale color, like chalk and his eye sockets were black as if he had not slept for a long time, with dark purple bags under his eyes..

A few minutes later I saw my father come, along with the Capulets.
“What is this? Dost my daughter live and Romeo, that villain, hold her!” her father was in an outrage and would have killed me, had the friar not stopped him before his sword could pierce through my heart. Friar Laurence told the Capulets, my father and the prince that Juliet and I were married and that he had given her a potion to make it seem as if she was dead but his real intention was for her to not marry Paris and that I would come to take her away from Verona and we could live our lives together in Mantua. Everyone was silent; however, her mother was the first to react. She came closer to Juliet and, in a swift motion, she slapped her right in the face and Juliet fell to the ground, a small sob had passed her lips. How dare she hurt my wife, leave her bruised! I would have done something, but her husband practically yelled saying that her actions were rash. She did not even look in his direction, she just glared at me. Her cold eyes were like daggers. I thought that he would say something like, Wench, didst thou got behind our backs and marry our enemy! Wretched girl!

Instead they just looked at me, it felt as if they were judging me. After a few minutes we were walking towards the courtyard, a few feet from the Capulet family crypt. The night was at its peak and it was pitch black. There were no torchbearers but of a sudden there were lights outside of every door, so it wasn’t as dark anymore.
“A toast for the end of our family’s feuding.” Lord Capulet declared, along with my father. Their faces were smiling and their demeanor was gay. I have never seen my father so happy.
“We shall have a feast at the time that the sun rises over the horizon the day next. When Phoebus, in his golden car of light, brings forth the light and banishes the dark to the deepest niches in the underworld.” Prince Escules roared, his tone was light but still full of authority. They never said if I would be hung though. They never even mentioned if I would be punished for breaking the law. But at this time my only thoughts were that the feud was over and that my love was alive. The poison was forgotten, it was still in my pocket when I dressed for bed a few hours after that night. Paris had been mad at me but later did not bother me or Juliet about the marriage or tried to fight me. He really cares for Juliet. I wish that, if I ever were to die, that she would find someone else and be happy. Someone like Paris, for he really does love her and is willing to give her up because he saw that she was happy with me. Now I feel so bad. I felt guilty because he had fallen for her and now I had ripped his heart apart, but it was not my intention to harm him in any way. The sun had risen and everyone was preparing for the feast, a wondrous feast. Then moment that I arrived at the at the Capulet house I was welcomed with a scowl from Lady Capulet, a smile from Lord Capulet and a kiss from Juliet. She was dressed in a green gown, the same that she wore the night that we met. It was a welcome change from that black dress and veil that she wore when she was in the cript, dressed as if for mourning.

My heart was pounding in my chest, my hands were sweating. I could barely breath, my throat was congested. I could not even utter a single word. But after a long moment I found my voice.
“Love, thou art fairer than Venus. Thine eyes art bright enough to blind he that is light’s god. Thou art no comparison to aurora for thy looks excel hers. Both love and light are jealous of thee. Gods gaze upon thee and become moony-eyed and pass their time wishing that thou were their‘s.” Afterwards I lightly kissed the back of her hand. She did nothing, just looked at me and blushed a deep crimson.
“Oh boy. Thou dost make my daughter blush. Come hither, ‘tis thine home for thou art my son. Now come and enjoy a day of merriment for my good fortune and my new ally!”

Even from a distance you could hear pots and pans clattering, dishes being placed on tables, some were being cracked and broken. As I walked through the interior of the home I saw rich carpets, tapestries made of silk and there was a vase of roses, so dark red that they appeared black, at every entrance and the centerpiece of every table. There were servants running back and forth making sure that everything was perfect and then, after half an hour, the guests were sitting and everyone was ready to begin. I had not seen Paris since last night or Lady Capulet since half an hour ago. Lord Capulet seemed not to have noticed because he had raised his glass and called everyone’s attention.
“Good Morrow gentlemen and gentlewomen. I have called thee here to celebrate the marriage of my daughter and Romeo Montague. Now will the strife between our two families end and start anew. Our families have know many tragedies, but I wish that we will rise above that time. Like a phoenix, we shall rise from the ashes of sorrow, hatred, brawling, despair and be reborn into a time of peace, prosperity and love for one another.” Everyone cheered, Juliet and I cheered the loudest of all because our wish for our families to live in peace and for us to be together had been granted. Yet, I still felt a nagging in the back of my mind. Wilt everyone be able to forget about those that are watching us? Wilt they be willing to bury the hatchet and become allies? I was uncertain for a moment but then I shrugged the thought out of my mind. That dream that I had, the day my life changed had been just that, a dream. As I raised my cup of wine, I saw Lady Capulet by her lord’s side. Hath she been there this whole time? As I raised the cup to my lips I felt a chill run down my spine. After draining the cup in one gulp and I suddenly felt my limbs go numb and my heart begin to slow. My vision became blurred and I could not get enough air into my lungs. I looked over at Juliet and she seemed to look at me, she seemed worried. Her worried gaze was the last thing that I saw before I fell and closed myself from the world of the living forever. Death welcomed me with his bony arms outstretched but I tried to resist. He said that there would be no going back, I had died and was now awaiting trial for my sins. I looked around and saw that this place was cold, dark and filled with the souls of restless ghost not allowed to visit the earth above. Is this my reward for loving someone? Wilt fate torture me so? Doth she not know how I ache? I am doomed to live in hell, no not live, to roam the land of the spirits…forever.