23rd April 2009

Dad gave me this notebook today when he came back from Spain. He said it was a special Spanish type of paper. Like I cared what the paper was like. I always thought it romantic and old fashioned to keep a proper journal. I can write all about cute boys and stuff like Scott Mathews. I really like him. He’s one of the cutest, hottest boys at school. I don’t really know him but Sarah doesn’t know her boyfriend Mark. I REALLY don’t like Sarah. She is a b****. FULLSTOP - NOTHING ELSE TO SAY ABOUT HER. She thinks she’s all it. She only goes out with Mark because he’s the fittest boy in the whole of 4th year. We all know that the only reason that he likes her is because she’s got big boobs and says she’s done it with tons of boys.

This diary is meant to be about my life not Sarah and Marks love life. So I suppose I have to write about me. My full name is Isabella Elizabeth Zanussi. My Dad is half Indian. That’s why I’ve got a funny last name. I’m 14 now. I’m in fourth year though because I got moved up when I was six. I skipped P2. I live with my Dad, because my mum died when I was 8. I miss Mum but I don’t feel sad. I just feel lonely. It’s hard only living with your Dad when you’re my age. You feel you can’t talk to him about boys or sex or periods. Other girls have their Mum’s to talk to about stuff like that. Luckily I have an amazing, best friend called Charli who I love to bits who I tell everything to. I have a lot of good friends but none of them are such good friends as Charli. I don’t know what else to say about me. I’m quite a boring person really. But I am going to keep this diary and write in it at least once a week. I probably won’t write as much as this normally. This was just to get me started. I better write about today though coz that’s what the diary is all about.

So today was a Saturday and me and Charli went shopping in town. I didn’t buy anything and neither did Charli but we tried a lot of stuff on. We had lunch in Costa and then caught a bus to Matalan and went to look at the bargains but there weren’t any coz, we realized as we left, it is the wrong season. Then we went home. (As I said – BORING) At half past five Dad phoned me from the airport saying he’d be about two hours. He also told me I had to do tea for when he got back. I wanted to do his favourite so I got out an Indian cookery book and got to work. When the curry was simmering away I went to watch TV. Then Dad got home and gave me my present. I wrote in it and I’m still writing in it. So there is my day…



25th April 2009

Monday, school, boring sums up today quite well I think. Charli was off so the day was more boring than school usually is and I think I only giggled once during the whole of lunch!! I should probably say a bit about the subjects I had today. Okay first it was assembly for the 4th years. Mrs McGregg didn’t say anything interesting and neither did anyone else who spoke. Then I had History which I love coz I just love it. My fave subject. I think instead of going through this which is quite uninteresting I’ll just stick a copy of my timetable in.
DAY
REG
ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
FIVE
SIX
MON
Assembly
History
Biology
Music
English
Maths
French
TUES
Tutor
Maths
Chemistry
English
History
PE
French
WED
Tutor
English
Music
Maths
French
Biology
Chemistry
THURS
Tutor
Chemistry
History
English
Biology
Music
French
FRI
Tutor
Music
History
English
PE
Maths
Biology


So that’s my week. I forgot to tell you about Chris. I’ve known him since I was about three when we moved here. He’s one of my best friends too but he’s a boy and you get in s*** from Sarah and her lot if you hang around with boys who you’re not going out with. But I hang with him at home. I had lunch with him coz his best friend was off too. We got laughed at but I decided I wouldn’t care coz he’s one of my really good friends. I think for once I might have done what my regie teacher Miss Canon said for once. She said you should do new things but be confident when doing them and I wasn’t embarrassed to be sitting by Chris which I think is what she meant.

Okay that’s enough about today.

Love Bella

P.S. It’s weird but it does feel like I’m writing a letter so that’s why I put Love Bella at the end!!



26th April 2009

Today I’m not writing an entry I’m writing a list of people I love most in the world.

List of Bella Zanussi’s Favourite people:

1.
My Dad

2.
Charli

3.
My Granny Theo

4.
Chris

5.
Charli’s mum

6.
Chris’s mum

7.
My aunty Louise in Australia

8.
My mum even though she’s dead. I think she should be at the top.



Charli was back today and I had lunch with her and Chris. He was talking this song he’s just made up. He sung a wee bit to us. Charli was like, “Wow, Chris. That sounds really good.”

“Yeah, amazing.” I added, trying not to sound sarcastic.

He looked at me a bit funny before saying, Thanks Charli. I really appreciate your opinion. These compliments everyone’s giving me really mean a lot.” Completely ignoring my comment! Sometimes boys are weird!

Gemma and Charli had a big row because Charli beat Gemma in a physics test or something stupid like that. I don’t know why we always go round with her. She’s just annoying. Charli feels the same because today she told me she was considering ditching her and becoming a pair instead of always going around as a threesome. I want to too but I’m scared Gemma will probably tell someone like her mum and I really don’t like Gemma’s mum coz she’s a bit like Sarah. That was really boring wasn’t it? I said I didn’t have anything interesting to talk about.

I wonder if Chris has a crush on Charli. He flirts with her a lot at school.



28th April 2009

I feel like drawing something. I don’t know what. Art was my favourite subject in first year but dad wouldn’t let me take it because it is ‘a waste of time and isn’t a bit educational’. ‘Whatever’ was all I said to him. I didn’t take it in the end because I think I need to do what he says and respect him. Since mum died it has been hard for us. If I didn’t have a good relationship with him both of our lives would just be rubbish. Oh my phone just bleeped. I’ll write some more in a minute…

The text was from Charli. It said:

Meet me at 8 by the park. Have summit important 2 tell u. xxxxx

It is 7.45 at the moment. I better tell Dad I’m going out.

Two hours later

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m freaking out. I can’t rush into this. I need to explain. My house is on the edge of this little village type thing. There is a park in it. Charli lives a bike ride away and often comes down. So I went to the park to meet Charli.

Oh my god, this is gonna sound mad. Chris is a really good friend of mine and I really love him as a really good friend but I would never in a lifetime consider going out with him. I mean I don’t know. I think I know him too well. I don’t know. Ugh it’s weird. I am freaked, what the hell am I gonna do?

Me and Charli were talking for about 30 seconds before I screamed. She said that Chris had texted her saying that he really liked me and was gonna ask me out but that Charli wasn’t allowed to tell me. And then I screamed. “I have to see him. What am I going to say to him? I won’t even be able to look at him. Oh God Charli, what am I going to do and what am going to say.” A thousand things were running through my head. I thought he fancied Charli. Why has he suddenly changed his mind? Maybe he was playing hard to get? Maybe he thought I fancied him!! I repeated, “Charli I have to say something to him. But being rejected is tough on boys. I have to see him.”

“Well let’s going to see him now then.”

“But Charli I can’t. I won’t even be able to look at him.” I was freaking out big time.

Charli put her hands on my shoulders and said, coolly and calmly, “Calm down girl. It’ll be fine. You're gonna have to go and see him. I’ll knock and ask his mum if he can come out. You stay behind and it’ll be fine. Don’t worry.” Charli was being surprisingly unsurprised. I was shocked. She clearly thought I fancied him which I didn’t.

I made her wander around the village with me until I had sorted out what I was going to say. It was half past eight before I decided I could face him.

When we got to Chris’s house his parents were out. It was his older brother who answered the door. Chris’s brother is 18 and very, very spotty. “Can Chris come out for a bit?” Charli asked politely.

“Sure he can but when will you be back? I was told that I had to have him in the house by at least 10,” enquired Chris’s brother.

“Yeah we should be back before 9. See you later.” Charli was excited. Chris came down the stairs at a terrific pace. He went red when he saw me, guessing Charli had told me.

“Err Hey Charli hey Bella.” He looked awfully embarrassed.

“I um don’t really feel like hanging around anymore. I think I’ll just go home,” I said, chickening out of my wonderfully prepared speech.

“No Bella don’t. I need to talk to you. I need to say something important.”

“Well” I replied feeling myself go red. “I said to my Dad I would be back I would at half eight and it’s already twenty to 9. I should go.”

“No please don’t I really need to talk to you. I really like you as more than as a friend.” His words rushed out; I opened my mouth to speak, “No don’t interrupt. I need to tell you the whole story. I like you as a girlfriend. I’ve always wanted you not anyone else. Ever since we went to secondary school. Okay,” he took a deep breath, “you can talk now. I’m done.”

I’m going home. I’ll text you tomorrow.” I felt tears and a lump in my throat. I don’t know why. I wasn’t the one who had been rejected. I turned round and walked home. I couldn’t bear to talk to him. I had to think things over. I don’t think Chris saw it like that. Charli ran after me while saying to Chris “Don’t worry. I’ll get her back. Just wait a second.” But he turned round and walked the other way. The trouble was that his house was in the same direction as mine.



29th April 2009

I feel miserable. Poor Chris. I was going over and over what happened in my head in bed and what I said was awful. I need to say sorry. He got back late last night and me and Charli got in s*** from his mum coz he’s wasn’t back in time. I texted him and said:

Soz bout yesterday. Fone me plz. I really need 2 tlk 2 u. I’m REALLY sorry. I didn’t mean 4 it 2 b like that. B xxx

He didn’t text back. I was desperate. I rang Charli, she said I should keep trying so I texted again. I wrote: Look, I need 2 tlk 2 u. Chris u r 1 of my best friends and I need 2 no if u really feel like that bout me. Plz Chris.

Then I rang him. The phone rang for ages and then he answered.

“Hey Chris.”

“Err Hey Bella” His voice was scratchy. Either he’d been crying or there was bad signal from across the road.

“How are you? Do you want to come over later and we can talk properly? I need to know how you really feel.”

“Yea that would be good. I’ll see you in 5 minutes. Okay”

So he came over. I lead him up to my room. Dad asked where we were going. I said he was helping me with my French homework. When we got to my room he slumped down on my beanbag. I sat on the bed carefully arranging my short skirt do he couldn’t see up it. I looked at him, wishing he would be the first to break this awful silence.

“Bella, I have never felt like this about anyone before. I feel like I want to spend every second of every day with you. I want to kiss you and hug you and comfort you when you’re sad. I…” I was shocked. Chris was serious. And suddenly the feeling came to me. I loved him to. “I think I love you too Chris.”

Then he leaned over and took my hands and lent forward. I lent forward as well. I suddenly found my lips against his and he was rubbing my back and running his fingers through my hair. I feel like I’ve always known this and I don’t know why I had ever realized before.

And then he got up and left. Just like that. He just stood up and left without saying anything. And I had to ring Charli.

“OMG Charli, Chris kissed me.”

“Really properly? With tongues?” I could tell Charli was mad that I had been the first one of us to do “tongues” as she called it!

“Yes, I love him so much and I needed to tell you. He’s just left. Oh my God, Charli. What am I going to do tomorrow at school?”

“Well just say that you and Chris are going out. And it’s as easy as that.”

“Do you think so, I don’t know Charli. I think it might be a mistake. What will Sarah say?”

“Oh for god’s sake Bella, why the hell do you care what flipping Sarah thinks. To her we’re nobodies. It doesn’t matter what she thinks. Just go with it.”

‘Ok, ok, it’s just she seems so important and high up.”

“Sometimes you really confuse me Bella.”

“Charli Dad’s yelling at me. I think I should go. See you tomorrow.”

“Bye Bells” She put the phone down. I went to see what Dad wanted. He said tea was ready.

I have had such a cool, wonderful day. I really think I’ve finally found who I am. It has been a really cool day.



30th April 2009

At school in assembly Mrs McGregg was talking about exams which are happening next month. I am studying every night from now on. ‘Chris Collins is going out with Bella Zanussi’ got round the whole school in less than 10 minutes. Charli was trying desperately to keep us in from the crowd because she knew we didn’t want a fuss.

Wow was Sarah p***ed off that I, her like arch enemy, had a boyfriend almost as cute as hers. She was livid. Chris has got to be the second or third cutest boy in 4th year. I don’t care one bit about Scott Mathews anymore. I’ve got Chris.

Mrs McGregg also announced the date of the S4 end of year dance. It’s on the 29th of June. I’m soooooooooooooooo excited coz for once everyone will be jealous of me having cute, fit boyfriend instead of me envying everyone else. God, that’s sounds really b****y. That’s not the reason I’m excited at all!! The reason I’m excited is because I am going to be dancing with Chris and I will be wearing a sexy dress!!

I don’t know why but Dad’s been acting really weird lately like he thinks he knows a secret of mine that I don’t know that he knows. CONFUSED!! Chris’s mum probably told him that we’re going out. I’d better confront Dad. I just don’t know how.

Later

I asked him what it was and he said I had to tell him my latest news. So I said “Well Mrs McGregg said the school dance was on the 29th of June.” I didn’t dare add anything else.

“Bella…”

“What?” I said innocently.

“No secrets in this family. Tell me the other thing.”

“Well,” I began nervously, you never know how a dad might react to something like this, “Chris kissed me.”

“And?”

“I kissed him back. In my room on Sunday.”

He looked at me in surprise. He obviously hadn’t been expecting that. “But you didn’t do anything else though did you?”

And I answered “No of course not silly.”

And Dad said “Good, I knew you and him were going out. I saw him in the shop and he asked me whether it was ok for you two to be going out and I said it was fine as long as you didn’t do anything stupid coz I’ve heard you and Charli taking about such and such says they’ve done this and that with such and such and I was worried.”

And then I answered him “No dad only stupid people like Sarah Robinson. Me and Chris are not stupid and I think we really love each other. Sarah and her boyfriend definitely don’t.”

And then I went away. He sighed. I love my Dad so much. I really don’t know what I’d do without him.



2nd May 2007

Wow a lot has happened. I don’t know where to start. I’ll write a list not in detail coz that takes a long time.

1.
Sarah and Mark broke up. (Boy dumps girl, girl cries all day, teachers ask what’s wrong, girl tells, teachers let girl off homework, girl stops crying)

2.
Sarah asked Chris out, to get back at me I suppose but still. She said to him “Look Chris your hot and that weirdo Bella isn’t gonna give you anything worth while” I don’t think she meant about fun birthday presents. She meant another type of fun. She continued “If you go out with me you can stay over at my house; my parent’s go away a lot.” He didn’t answer her. She doesn’t like him, but she hates me. I think it’s just a way of annoying me.

3.
Dad’s going away for a few days and I’m staying at Chris’s house till the fourth. Only trouble is Dad has forbid me to sleep in the same room as him. What a shame!!!

4.
Charli was going out with a boy called Jamie but she dumped coz she found him snogging Sarah’s friend Jess. She doesn’t ever keep boyfriends for long. She says she’s waiting till Robert Patinson realises she’s the one.


Oh my God. What if Chris takes up Sarah’s offer? I mean, most people say all that boys want is sex. Maybe I should ask him. I am writing this at his house.

Later

I asked him. “Chris, you’re not gonna go out with Sarah are you?”

“No of course not you idiot! I love you remember?” Then he leaned over and kissed me. I could feel him tugging at my pajama top but I shooed him away big time.

“Chris, stop it.”

“You don’t like me kissing you?”

“I love you kissing me. Just no more than that. Ok?”

“Yes, beautiful,” he said absent-mindedly.

Now I am back in his spare room and I’m going to sleep.



4th May 2007

My birthday tomorrow!! I’ll be 15! That’s old. Chris came with me to meet Dad at the station. We got the bus a bit early so we could spend a bit of time wandering around town before. Really fun.

A list of things I’m hoping to get for my birthday:

1.
a new phone

2.
money for buying a dress for the dance

3.
a necklace saying Bella

4.
a new pair of earrings

5.
a nice new purple pen

I think that’s it. I better go. I will write tomorrow after my birthday. Chris and Charli are going over which will be good.



5th May 2007

MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have had such a good day. I got up at half past 9 and had croissants and hot chocolate for breakfast. Then I opened my present from Dad. I got a pair of earrings which were little blue rings with a black dot in the middle like little eyes. He brought down another jewelry box as well. It had a silver locket saying Bella on it. But the case was old. “Your mother saw the necklace in a shop and got your name engraved on it. She said we should wait and give it to you when you were fifteen so you loved it properly and now you are so here it is.” I looked at it thoughtfully and then put it on.”

“I wish she was here. I feel odd. When Charli was 15, she and her mum were comparing 15 year old birthdays. I can’t do that with you coz it’s not the same, but dad?

“Yes Bells…”

“I only realized last night or the night before that if I didn’t have you I wouldn’t be me. I love you so much and I don’t know what I would do without you. Don’t ever leave before I’m ready like mum did will you?”

“Of course I won’t, I love you too much. Now go and put those earrings in before your friends get here.” I ran forward and hugged him. Then he handed me another parcel (a cute denim skirt) and I went to the bathroom and put the new earrings in and the skirt and tights on before hearing a loud rat-a-tat-tat on the front door.

“Bella.” That was Charli’s voice.

“I’m coming, give me a sec.”

“Me and Chris will be waiting in the living room.”

From Charli I got a voucher for Monsoon and a cute make-up bag, from Chris I got a DVD and a bracelet. I also opened my present from my Granny which was a box of Thornton’s toffee and £50, just enough to buy a dress and I have another £50 saved which is enough to get shoes, bag and a cardi of some sort. I also got a box of Maltesers. We used them at the cinema.

Me, Charli and Chris went to the cinema and saw a film called Jen about a 15 year old girl who somehow gets forced to “do it” with her boyfriend then gets pregnant but looses the baby just after she has decided to keep it. It was sad but very good. It was a 15 because we are all 15!!! (Well, Chris’s sixteen but that’s not the point) Finally, I can go to 15’s with my friends when they go. It’s so annoying having a late birthday. If I was in the year I’m meant to be in, I would be one of the oldest but I got moved up a year.

A card came in the post from a lady called Judy Price who I didn’t know but Dad said she was a random child minder from when I was about 5. She sent me £20 which I added to my dance fund.

And that was my birthday. I’m now officially 15. Oh and we all went out to supper. Dad, Chris, Charli, Chris’s parents and me. I had pasta. But pudding was best. Warm chocolate brownie with chocolate sauce and ice cream. DELICOUS!!





9th May 2009

I’m meant to be revising but I can’t be bothered. I do have my first exam in two days time but I am so lazy. Chris and me were kissing outside English today and Sarah comes past and hisses, “Get a room, you sickos.” I hissed back at her, “You’re just jealous Sarah because Mark dumped you for Louise.” She sloped off before Mrs Watson came up and told us that our behavior was inappropriate for school premises. Chris and I decided that she was jealous too because her and her husband aren’t “sexually active” anymore. Poor old Mrs Watson!



20th May 2007

I haven’t written for a long time because it was the first week of exams. Ugh! So many prelims, exams, and practice highers!!! I am soooooooooooooooo tired. But it’s the dance in a month and a bit. Next week there are exams as well. This is rest week. So there won’t be much writing for a bit.



24th May 2009

Went into town with Chris. We were pretending to be talking about “last night” in all the shops. The old ladies in the jewellers got really freaked out. Chris kept going, “The duvet got in the way a bit, didn’t it?” I replied, “Yes, good thing you kicked it off.” The old ladies faces were so funny!! He also pretended to be buying me a wedding ring. Much to the old jeweller lady’s suspicion!! At one point she came up to me and asked, “Just how old are you dear?” I said, “I’m fifteen mam,” in a funny American accent.




3rdth June 2009

Sorry I haven’t written for a long time. Me and Charli are going shopping on Saturday for the dance. It will be great. Chris is pretending that he is excited though I don’t think he wants to wear a tux! I told him he should wear a kilt instead but he looked at me funny. I’ve got to revise now.



5thth June 2009

We went shopping today. I got a really nice dress. Its black and silver. From River Island. And some shoes. It was good. Got to go and study now. It’s second exam week next week.



23rd June 2009

EXAMS ARE OVER Thank God. Less than a week till the dance. My dress is black and silver and my shoes are black as well. I have a little shiny black bag and a black cardi. It will be so fun. Chris hasn’t officially asked me yet but it’s obvious we’re going together.



25th June 2009

OH MY GOD!!!

Scott Mathew asked me to go with him to the dance on facebook just now. I said I’ll think about it. Loads of girls like him and I used to be one of them. We all thought he’d go with one of Sarah’s crowd. He’s friends with Mark. I’m going with Chris. So why did he even ask me? But… I mean… Scott Matthews is like hot. Really hot. I have to text Charli and see what she thinks.

Need your advice. Scott M askd me 2 dance. Wot shood I say? I think I still like him. But Chris is my boyf. Wot do I do? Bells xxx

She text back a minute later.

OMG, u shood so say yes. Chris is not nearly so fit as SM. I luv him. Ask him 2 ask me!!!

I texted Scott. Hey, Soz but going wiv Chris. Y did u ask me? I am going out wiv him. Charli wants 2 go wiv u. xx

He just text back. I’ll see what it says. Oh God. He said: I don’t wnt 2 go wiv Charli. I wnt 2 go wiv u.

What should I say??? WHAT SHOULD I SAY???

I text back: SORRY! I used to like u but now I like Chris. He’s my boyf. Soz.

Oh my God what the hell am I going to do. The really fit popular boy that EVERYONE likes or my cute, smart funny boyfriend who I really love? Just writing that, made me realize. Of course I’m going with Chris. Not SM. Chris texted me saying: We r going 2 dnce 2gthr, rn’t we? Luv u xxx

I answered: Of course we r x but, what if Scott persists with this stupid thing of me and him going? This is where I need my mum in life. I can’t talk to my Dad about boys.

Scott texted me AGAIN!! “Why, Chris? I thought u liked me?” Scott is sooooo annoying but he is really fit and everyone would be jealous. Wait a sec. Why the hell do I want everyone to be jealous? I text back saying: Ring Me.

Then this utter nonsense happened.

“Bella, please just go with me. I really like you.” Scott sounds weird over the phone.

“God, I used to like you because you were one of the fittest lads in school and everyone liked you. Now I’ve got Chris who I LOVE for God’s sake.”

“Oh ok then. Bye Bella.” He hung up on me. Scott Mathews just hung up on me!!. I think I’ve hurt his feelings. I’ll ring back.

“Scott, I’m sorry about just then. Just because I’m not going to the dance with you doesn’t mean we can’t be friends and stuff. You could go with Charli. She just broke up with her boyfriend and needs a bit of support. Being asked by one of the fittest boys in school would cheer her up.”

“How long does it take to get this into your head? I want to go with you not your friend.”

“Well, if the only way you work is persisting until you get what you want it is definitely not the same way as I work. Just going to the dance with Charli doesn’t mean you have to go out with her or anything. OK?” And with that I hung up on him just like that. Now he knows what it feels like.



27th June

It’s only two days till the dance and I still don’t know who I’m going with. Well, I do. I just feel bad for turning Scott down. It’s his own fault for being such a b******.

Chris hadn’t kissed me since that day at school. I kind of missed it. So I asked him round after school today. He was really nice. My dad was working late and we fixed ourselves a really yummy snack of chocolate spread and banana sandwiches. He then made pineapple smoothies. I was really full after. Then we went and curled up on the sofa. Dad got home at 7 o’clock and me and Chris were asleep on the sofa!!! We were so tired. He gently woke us up and Chris and me walked round to his house. At the door, he kissed me. Not quite as full of tongue as before but like he really cared about me and I realised again that I really didn’t want to go to the dance with anyone but him.



28th June 2009

Awful, Awful news. Chris is in hospital. He ate a boiled egg and soldiers last night and he was sick after. They just thought it was because he had a bug or something but it turned out the egg had some disease. He wouldn’t stop being sick all night so his mum called an ambulance. All last night the doctor said his condition was critical. He could have died!!! But he’s all right now, thank god!!! But the trouble is Chris won’t be able to make it tomorrow!! And now I have to go with Scott to the dance. I said I would at school today. He said that was great. But he also said that he was glad I’d dumped my “crummy boyfriend” for him. But the thing is me and Scott are NOT going out. I’m still going out with Chris but the whole school even Charli thinks that I dumped Chris. Charli was shocked.

“How the hell could you have dumped Chris after you acted as though you were getting married to him? And for Scott Mathews too. You really are an idiot Bella.” And she stormed off with Gemma (who I thought wasn’t our friend anymore). That is all she’s said to me all day!!! I thought she was meant to be my friend. I’ve got a bad feeling she told Chris too. I don’t have a clue what I’m going to do.

Also, to make matters worse, at lunch Scott had his hands all over me. I was like, “Get off me. You freak.”

So I did something really stupid and asked dad for his advice. This just so you know was the worst thing I could have possibly done. I could have gone to visit Chris in the hospital and explained everything. I could have phoned Scott and told him things weren't the same as what he thought they were. But no, I asked my dad, my 45 year old dad, for advice. How on earth I thought he possibly remembered what it was like being 15 I don’t know but that’s enough about how much of a mistake I made. Here’s what happened.

“Dad, I’ve got a bit of a problem.” I walked into the kitchen where Dad was making something that smelt way too spicy.

“Yes, Bells, what is it?”

“You know how Chris is in hospital, well for the dance tomorrow night…”

“You’re going to a dance tomorrow night?”

“Yes, I told you ages ago.”

“When does it start?”

“It doesn’t matter when it starts. What matters is that I have to go to a dance with a boy who I don’t even really like and who thinks he’s going out with me and so does the rest of the school even Charli but I’m actually still going out with Chris. So I have to spend the whole night from 8.00 till 12 with a stupid, popular football player which doesn’t even compare to the night I would have spent with Chris.”

“BELLA, You are 15 not a 20 year old woman living in London. I wasn’t even sure about you going out with Chris until he came over the night before last. I do not want you spending the evening with a boy you don’t even know. As for 8-12 that is NOT happening. You are not going to this dance. OK”

So now I’m not going to the dance with a popular, stupid, dumb footballer, I’m not going at all! My life sucks. I have a stupid old fashioned father, I’m not going to the 4th year end of year dance, and my boyfriend is stuck in a smelly, hygienic, annoying – doctor-full hospital.



29th June 2009

Everyone was really excited about the dance this morning at school. Everyone is going, everyone! Except me. Charli phoned me 7 times between the end of school and the beginning of the dance. She managed to get a date with Ryan Scott, a friend of her ex Jamie’s.

So at half 7 when everyone was heading off to the 4th year end of year dance, I was sat eating pizza in front of some absolute crap on TV. That’s when I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself, put on my dance dress and go hand have fun with the person I really wanted to hang around with. Chris!

I dressed in my dance dress then put on some make up and packed into a bag a pair of jeans, top and my converses incase I got uncomfy then went to find Dad.

But to my surprise, what I found was Chris lying on the sofa. Dad wasn’t there, but Chris was here in his place.

“Wow, you look beautiful, Bella.” He sighed.

“How come you’re not still in hospital?” I shuffled nervously in my dress. I felt my cheeks growing warm at him saying I looked beautiful.

“I got let out this morning, but I’m not really allowed out of the house but I think the doctors will let me go next door to see my wonderful, hot, beautiful girlfriend.”

“Oh Chris.”

“Are you going to the dance, coz you’re dressed like that?” he said casually.

“No I was coming to visit you in the hospital but I really wanted you to see my dress on.”

“It looks beautiful. Why aren’t you going to the dance?”

“Because I didn’t want to go with Scott. Did Charli say that?”

“She didn’t say anything. What’s up?”

“Well, everyone including her, thinks I dumped you for him. He had his hands all over me at lunch time but I told him to get off me.”

“I’m glad you did. You don’t like Scott do you?”

“Not any more. I’m going to get changed.”

“Ok, Then we’ll watch a film or something.”

So I went upstairs and put on a pair of jeans and a top and my jumper with the koala on it. When I came downstairs, Chris had made popcorn and drinks for us. In the end the film was just on in the background, we just nibbled on popcorn and talked, curled up on the sofa. I had a wonderful evening, much better than if I’d gone to the dance. Chris has just left. Its 10 o’clock and Dad is still round at Chris’s. So I have the house to myself again. This is the last page of my dairy. I need to rat out a new one. But I think finally, I may have discovered properly who I am and what I want to do with my life. I want to become a writer. Since I started keeping a dairy, I’ve not just written in it, I’ve also written countless stories and poems. So I think I’ll be a writer.