I still remember how it happened. I still remember the sound of the tires, the smell of the alcohol, and the feeling of dread I had before getting in the car. I still remember how strongly I trusted you.
I still love you.
In case you don’t remember, even though you constantly see it in the news, I’ll tell you what happened. We were at Frankie’s party. Her parents were out of town; her brother was visiting family in Florida. And it’s so easy, just so easy to get a party going when you invite Jess. Jess will invite everyone. And that’s how we got invited.
You and me.
We were the school’s most popular couple, the one with the strongest feelings; the one that everyone believed would stay together forever.
We didn’t.
Frankie thought she could have everything under control. But when the bottle was being passed around, everything spun out of control. Like the car we got into. When the bottle got to us, I politely refused, careful not to say too much. You were always ready to try something new, but this was something even you wouldn’t do. When you told Mark you wouldn’t have any, not being careful at all, he splashed you in the face with it. If he wasn’t drunk, if you hadn’t wanted to keep your arm around me, if you moved, then maybe this wouldn’t have happened. I’m not blaming you. It wasn’t your fault. We were all just victims of circumstance.
You said you were fine, even though the alcohol was all over you. You didn’t want to seem to upset; it was a party. He did only throw the beer at you, not the bottle. But maybe if you asked for another shirt, if you said you were not fine, then maybe we would still be together. It was getting late. We were sober, unlike the others stumbling across the house. I was tired, resting my head against your shoulder. To them, I must have looked drunk. But anyone who’s not drunk would obviously be tired, trying to avoid the drunks, and looking for the others who were sober. You looked at the clock, but it was broken. Someone told you it was eleven thirty. I missed my curfew, and my dad is gonna kill us.
Was.
We were getting in Mark’s car, he was going to drive, so we expected him to be sober. And he was. But the others were not. They were laughing and giggling, and they thought you were just like them. With that huge beer stain on the front of your shirt, anyone would think you were drunk. But that just wasn’t you. We were all in the car, and I noticed something strange. Mark was swerving! But he was sober… or at least we all thought he was. I turned to tell you, and everything happened so fast. The car swerved sharply to the right, and I was thrown against the door. Everyone screamed, the whole car seemed to flip, and something hit my back extremely hard. And everything went black.
They say it was a miracle you survived. I think so too. If I hadn’t been against the door when it flipped, the rock would have hit you instead. The rock hit me between my shoulder blades, and I was pronounced dead in the hospital. You only got a concussion, and I was happy that nothing else happened to you. Dad was mad when he found out, he thought you didn’t care about me and let me die. But when you first heard that I was dead, you broke down and cried. I never saw you cry before. Not even when you broke your arm during football, not a single tear. I knew you cared. I know you still care.
And now, I see you at my funeral, holding a bouquet of red and pink roses. You still remember my favorite flower. I can see the tears sliding down your cheeks. I can see the pain in your eyes. And I want you to know.
I still love you.
With all my heart,


Natalie