I never thought I would be that girl.

Caught in the middle of my own personal eighties chick-flick cliché. You know the one I’m talking about. Unfortunately Hollywood has it all wrong, as usual. This inopportune chestnut of being in love with your best friend is not all it’s cracked up to be. I’m sorry to have to be the one to break the news to ya kiddos, but here in the real world you don’t get cheesy happily ever after’s and flaky romantic dialogue. At least not according to what I’ve experienced.

Why so bitter you may ask? Because my friend, instead of those oh so sought after unfeasible fairy tale finale’s, I find myself in the very real truism of being hopelessly and altogether in love. No, I agree, that certainly does not sound like a dreadful thing whatsoever. However little do you know, when that love is unrequited like the one of this ensues to be, it can quite honestly be the most miserable thing conceivable.
Those who have not had the misfortune to experience such a feeling as this I’m positive will by no means ever accurately comprehend the way it feels. I don't know what it is really, but sometimes it genuinely takes everything in me to not reach out and run my fingers through his hair or wrap my arms around his neck then just hold him close to me and never let go. If I was truly honest with myself I would have to admit that I am perfectly content being his friend, in fact I love it. I just have this incredible urge to kiss him, that doesn't go away... and this feeling that we would be perfect together.
It's actually kind of funny, in a sick twisted sort of way, how big of an impact he has on me. It's like when I see him, he doesn’t even have to say anything. All he can do is smile with that crooked grin of his and my day is instantly made. From time to time I get this impression when we’re standing there simply talking to each other about absolute claptrap like we always do, that maybe, just maybe, he feels something too. And the one little insignificant glimmer of hope is what keeps me holding on.
I sit here and wonder, as my fingers frantically sweep from key to key of my laptop urgently trying to put into words the contradictions and filly of emotions bouncing around inside my head, if yhe’ll ever understand just how much of me belongs to him. I wish he could hear all these words I’m too afraid to say to him, for fear that they just won’t come our right. There are so many things I'd like to tell him. I wish he could understand. But if I told him, both our worlds would change. For good or bad, I'm not sure.
I’m not sure why I have myself convinced he’s the one, but everything about it just feels right. But I can’t go on trying to force this thing any longer, after all if it’s meant to happen, it’ll happen. People that are meant to be together always find their way in the end. I’m just hoping he’s that person, because I’ve never met someone who brightened my day more than that boy. I’ve never prayed so hard for something so indisputably good to merely stay in my life forever. He might just think of me as some girl, but I just want him to know, that I'm the one girl who took one look at him, and fell harder than I ever have in my entire life.