When I made it up Ian’s porch I let myself in. I heard yelling from the back of the house so I decided to go see what the problem was. I found Ian and Deb both in Ian’s room, Deb was yelling something about Ian’s dirty room but Ian was pretending not to hear it. He rudely strummed his guitar and wrote down notes, he was writing another song! But Deb didn’t sound so thrilled.



“Ian Joseph Wolfe, stop playing that damn instrument and listen to me!” Ian did nothing. “Don’t you hear me? I said stop! You need to clean up this pig sty right this very minute!” Ian did nothing and I stood there frozen in the doorway. Ian subtly looked up and matched my gaze. A smile appeared on his face and Deb paused her yelling confused. She turned around at me and her face turned cherry red from embarrassment.



“Sam sweetheart, I’m so sorry I didn’t hear you come in!” She hugged me lovingly and while she did I saw Ian set down his guitar and head out of the room. Deb’s mood instantly changed. “And where do you think you’re going?” Ian didn’t speak, he just kept walking. Deb followed him out into the living room and I did the same. Ian grabbed his jacket and headed towards the door where Deb caught up to him. “Listen to me Mr, if you take one more step forward I’ll, I’ll—



“You’ll what?” Ian yelled back. “It’s not like you can take anything away from me, you’ve already done that a thousand times!” Oh Ian! Why didn’t he just listen for once in his life? “The only thing left you can do is kick me out of the house!”



“Ian, you know I would never do that.” Deb whimpered. It was like Ian screams had smashed her confidence, Ian controlled the outcome now. I felt bad for Deb, Ian used to never be this way. All the anger, he had so much, and he keeps it all bottled up inside until he can’t take anymore, then he explodes.



“Well maybe you should! I’d love to get out of this damn house!” Ian reached for the door handle and was about to storm out when Deb gently set her hand on his shoulder.



“Please don’t go.” I could tell she had been holding back tears; her voice broke near the end of the sentence. Ian took a deep breath. I knew he hated to make his mom cry.



“I’m going to work.” He said sternly, “I’ll clean up my room when I get home.” He shook off his mothers shoulder and slammed the door behind them. I watched as Deb stood silently in front of the door and listened as Ian’s truck roared to life and the sound faded into the distance. She turned to face me and took a loud swallow.



“Ian will be back just before midnight.” She said grabbing her coat and purse. I just nodded “I believe Anna is somewhere in the playroom downstairs.” She grasped the door knob and just before she opened the door began to speak again. “I’m truly sorry about that.” She said with a smile “Thanks so much, again.” I smiled back at her.



“No problem.” Then she disappeared behind the door. I sighed then headed downstairs to the Wolfe’s playroom to go find Anna.



The playroom used to David’s office but Deb transformed it so she could actually walk in there without tearing up. Ian still could hardly step in the room. He always acted so tough around everyone, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who really knows how soft he is inside. Once you crack his shell the feelings start to pour out, and not very pleasant ones I might add. Particularly his emotions always come off as angry but I know the truth, anger is how Ian hides the sorrow. I’m the one who sees through his acting out, I don’t even think Deb quite understands the way he acts.



Anna on the other hand doesn’t have one angry bone in her body, but why should she? She was too young to remember her father, that’s why the thought that the room she spends most of her time in is the exact place David would work for hours. David was a writer, a very good writer. Unfortunately he was never actually published, probably bad luck I suppose. I know if I was a publisher and read one of his stories he would have been on the New York Best Sellers List in no time! He used to keep all of his stories in the drawer in his gigantic redwood desk but Deb sold the desk in a garage sale because she was late on the mortgage payments and really needed the money. Now I think she keeps them somewhere in the bedroom. I’d give anything to read them again but I feel weird asking, even bringing up David’s memory seems to Deb would make her want to break down in tears.



The door to the playroom was cracked open slightly and I could hear Anna’s playful giggles from behind the door. I attempted to open the door a little wider so I could squeeze through, but it hardly budged. I decided a better approach would to try to slam into it with my shoulder. Bad idea. I yelped as my shoulder hit the solid object and the pain shot down my arm like electricity. I backed away from the door and shook my now throbbing arm. I heard Anna laughing at me which influenced me even more to ram down the door, but I wasn’t going to try something that stupid again. Fed up the brash-like thing I walked over with my hands on my hips and once more tried to push the door open, of course I was unsuccessful. I sighed in defeat and sucked in my stomach so I could try to squeeze my body through the tiny crack between the door and the wall.



Here goes nothing. I thought to myself, I just hope I don’t get stuck. Now that would be something embarrassing, at least Ian wouldn’t see it, but I’m sure Anna would tell him later. I let out a huge breath when I finally entered the room. The ground was covered in toys and dress up clothes, there wasn’t even one space on the ground where I could step without smashing something. No wonder I couldn’t open the door! Anna was sitting leisurely on a navy blue storage tub in the corner dressing up one of her dolls.



“Hi Anna!” I said gleefully. Anna looked up from her doll and smiled at me enthusiastically.



“Come play dolls with me Sam!” She hopped off the tub and picked something up off the floor, another doll. “Here you go. I picked it out just for you!” She said running over to hand the doll over to me.



Honestly I really wasn’t in a good enough mood to play dolls with a bossy four year old. For one thing watching the argument between Ian and his mom had brought down my spirits and it really didn’t help that every time I closed my eyes he was there. He would always be smiling at me the same exact way. He had such a beautiful smile… I felt my heart begin ache inside my chest, it was longing for him. I quickly tried to forget about him for a moment, even though it pained me to do so. I thought maybe if I could stop thinking about him even for a little while I might completely forget about him, then my heart wouldn’t have to go through this sick kind of torture ever again. But the funny thing is I didn’t really mind this crazy mental pain, actually I kind of liked it. It gave me this sort of adrenaline rush that caused my blood to warm making my heart feel like it was melting, almost like chocolate when you place it on your tongue. It gave me a lot of energy, not insane hyperactive energy but some kind I really can’t explain. All I knew is that my body was almost as light as air and inside me my feelings churned around in my head like I giant bowl of soup and I could feel them all it once, it was a really good feeling.



Trying not to show the reluctance I actually felt a gently took the doll from Anna with a smile. She bounced up and down excitedly while she explained the game we would be playing. I just went along not wanting to upset her. Her bubbly laugh ended up lifting my spirits and eventually I began playing along enthusiastically. After a long while Anna began to yawn and her eye lids looked like they were getting heavy. I scooped her up in my arms as she took another large yawn. It took all my energy to hold back one of my own.



“I think it’s time for bed.” I told her.



“I don’t want to go to bed, I’m not even ti—“ Another yawn escaped from her tiny mouth. “Well maybe just a little.” I smiled and tussled her blonde hair.



“How about I read you a bedtime story?” I said while slowly walking up the stairs and down the long hallway that lead the way to her bedroom.



“Yes please!” She nodded eagerly.



Anna’s room was pink from floor to ceiling; a pink rug, bubblegum pink walls, and a small pink bed. I gently set her down and made the bed for her. When I had finished she came up to me with a small book in her hand that she obviously wanted me to read. It didn’t have any title or illustrations on the cover but I recognized it at once. David had written it a long time ago before he was sick and when Deb was still pregnant with Anna. It was a story about a little girl and her father. Ian had once similar minus the whole daughter part.



I smiled and took the book from her then tucked her in tight between the covers.



“Read it Sam!” She begged. How could I refuse? Anna had that kind of innocence that made you want to do anything for her, besides I really wanted to read it too.



I opened the book to the first page and started to read aloud, she giggled when I made my voice low for the father’s dialogue and shrill for the daughters. It was a very nice story and Anna started to doze off near the end. When I finished she was completely knocked out and I gently closed the book and set it on the bedside table.



“Sleep tight Anna Banana.” I whispered into her ear and very lightly kissed her on the forehead. I turned the lights off and as quietly as possible, closed the door behind me.



It really wasn’t that late, around eight o’ clock. So I got my book out of my bag and decided to read for a little while. I took a seat on the Wolfe’s large brown leather chair and swung my feet over the arm casually. It was an ok book, something I had read at least a hundred times before. I wasn’t particularly a huge fan of rereading unless it was one of my very favorite books, or a good classic. I wasn’t very far into reading when I heard the roar of an engine pulling up the drive way.