?is a flashback?
It was dark there were cobwebs all around me. The smell of sewer stung my lungs as I took breath after breath. I didn’t know where I was going, and I didn’t know where I had come from, I just knew I was walking. Time was just a number and forever in my life that’s all it had ever been. Bugs encircled me, occasionally stopping to bite me, but I didn’t mind.
?“Were going out for dinner we will be back soon” my mother had said. I ran around picking up toys playing with them getting tired of them and running around and picking up other toys. My mom smiled at me and then said to the babysitter “we will be back in 2 hours at the most, Kristen take good care of my little boy.”
“I will” said Kristen. My mom walked over to me hugged me and kissed my forehead. I struggled to get away from her not knowing this would be the last time I would ever feel here arms around me.
An hour and a half passed I heard the honk of my car as it locked. I heard the sound of a gunshot and an ear piercing scream, my mother’s scream. Another gunshot interrupted the scream and rang through the crisp cool night air. I will never forget those sounds. They will always ring in my head.?
“ What are you doing walking around out here this late at night” an old lady yelled from her doorstep.
“I’m just walking I will be on my way though” I said through clinched teeth. I turned my head feeling her eyes burn through my shirt. I started walking faster.
“Please don’t walk away so fast” she yelled after me “do you have anywhere to go”
“No” I said as I turned around
“Please come in and sleep you look like you need to.” she said in a caring voice
“That is a very nice offer but I don’t think I will take it” I said hesitantly
“You should take it” the old lady said. Before I could refuse she walked over to me gently grabbed by arm and took me into her house and showed me where everything was.
? “Rob Cunningham wears handed down clothes” someone yelled at me
“ It’s not my fault” I said as my teacher put her arm around me and took me to her office telling me to forget about what they say about me because they can’t tell who I really am. I walked out of her office with a new look on things. People laughed at me and threw mud at me, I just kept walking. I walked straight to me foster home and my foster mom yelled at me and told me I was wasting her money.?

I snapped back to reality I needed to go to sleep. A few minutes passed as I thought about anything and everything. The old lady walked in.
“why arn’t you asleep yet” the old lady asked me.
“I was just thinking about things” I replied
“You have all the time in the world to think about things, go to sleep now” she said as she looked me straight in the eyes. I recognized her eyes from somewhere but I couldn’t remember where.
“I will” I told her. She walked out of the room. I started to count sheep. 2 hours of counting sheep and I finally got to sleep. sleeping felt as good as it would feel getting a drink after running across the Sahara desert. My nightmare, oh how I wish I could skip this nightmare. Every time I try to sleep I have this same nightmare.

My ex-wife Julia. She is so beautiful. I have never seen anyone like her in my entire life. we were arguing. She yelled some, I yelled some. Julia was getting frustrated, clinching her fists and her face turning red, she stormed out of our house. Even mad she was beautiful. How could I be so ungrateful? How could I let her fall through my fingers like water falling from the sky. I never heard from her again I just found divorce paperwork in the mail. I woke up with a jerk sweating. I was glad the nightmare was over. That fight was horrible. Trying to forget what I had just dreamt. I get up, wash up and I look at myself in the mirror. I tousle my dark knotted hair. The cuts on my face make me look like a thief. My bright blue eyes that look as out of place as a cow in a mall. I was a mess. I walked out of the bathroom and head for the door.

“what’s your name sun?” I jumped from fright. I had forgotten that I was in someone else’s house.
?I woke up sweating with the fire alarms ringing in my ears. I jumped out of bed and grabbed for Julia’s picture, the police and firefighters came very quickly and asked if there was anyone else living her I told them no. they tried to salvage what they could of my stuff but most of it was gone. I had the only position I ever needed. Everything I had was gone, my wife, my house, my job, my parents, everything.?
“What’s your name” the old lady repeated
“My name is Rob. What is your name?” I said with a suspicious voice.
“My name is Ethel, Rob please stay for breakfast and talk with me”
“I would love to thank you” we got to talking and we went from subject to subject I haven’t had a conversation like this since the last time I was with Julia. We got on the subject of her daughter. She told me her daughter was married to a good for nothing jerk who cared about nothing but himself. She started telling me more and more and everything added up to one person Julia. “Was your daughter’s name Julia by chance?”
“Why yes. Yes it was Julia. How did you know that?”
“Because, I am that good for nothing jerk who cares only for himself.” I replied in a hurt tone. “Do you happen to know where she is? I would really like to see her and to apologize for everything” I saw a tear form in her eye as she said in a voice a little above a whisper
“That’s very nice… but, Julia got killed in a car crash 2 years ago”
At that moment my heart sank into my stomach. I couldn’t believe it. I felt as though my reason to live was gone. I felt helpless. I crumbled to the ground forgetting where I was and who I was with. I heard Ethel repeating my name but I didn’t want to respond. I got up brushed myself off. Opened the door and walked out into the alley forgetting about everything that just happened. I was back in the dark alley night. With the bugs circling me with every move I made I was just walking. Forever walking