I held my tongue and clenched my hands together on top of my laps. The deafening silence left me buried in my thoughts. It keeps echoing inside my head, washing me over. 

      I glanced over at the clock. Four a.m. Ten hours sitting on the couch, watching life pass by the checked hallways. Blurred faces of people that I’ll never see again. 

       Click. Clack. Click. Clack. I jerked to the side. 

       The nurse peered over my shoulder. She looked at her clipboard and back at me while twirling her pen. “You can come in now.” 

       I pressed my hands on the sides of the couch and gathered my body together. The nerves suddenly came rushing through and a throbbing pain followed.

       The nurse turned back. “Are you coming?”

       I nodded. 

       The sliding door glided shut as we walked past it. The hallway seemed endless, with shadows reflecting from the wooden arched vinyl windows on the side. The shape of the shadows always seemed to morph into different shapes the more I walked. 

      The nurse stopped at room 404. “This is the room she’s in. Right now, she’s resting, but she’ll be awake soon.” She rushed over to the monitor then replaced the IV pump with saline. 

     “I’ll be back in a moment. Please sit with her in the meanwhile. If anything pops up, please feel free to tell us.” With trepidation, the nurse ran hastily, almost dropping her clipboard. 

      I glanced over at Esme and slowly placed my palms on her hands. Her hands are delicate and soft. Her thin fingers crossed with mine. I could feel every heartbeat. Each heartbeat feels like calmness has washed over me. I gently placed my head on her, and whispered to her ears. My eyelids felt too heavy at that moment, so I gave in and closed my eyes.

     A soft yawn woke me up. Esme stretched her arms slightly, restricted by the placement of the needle injections in her arms. Her eyes twinkled with mirth as it landed on mine. The smile touched the corners of her mouth. She began reaching her hands and started patting my head. 

     “Wyatt, I’m surprised that you came.” 

     “I hadn’t seen you in weeks. Everyone has been begging me to go check up on you. Oh…. and this is for you.” 

      “Oh. Thanks. You didn’t have to buy all of this for me. Your presence is more than enough.” 

       “Open it. Aren’t you curious?”

       “A bit.”

       She took out a large box with magenta colored ribbons. She untied the ribbon vigorously and then slowly lifted the lid. 

      “Ooo, you got me an eye mask,” she gasps “I always wanted to read this book for the longest time, but never got the chance to.”

      I chuckled, “Back when you were in school, you kept raving on how you wanted to read The Silent Patient. There was another one that you wanted to read. I believe it was The Rising Tide by Ann Cleeves. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find the book anywhere online or in bookstores.” 

     “It’s alright. At least now, I won’t be staring at the yellow wallpaper anymore. I’m so sick and tired of it. Every day, when I wake up, the yellow wallpaper just pops in my face, singing ‘Rise and Shine’.”

    “How have you been doing these days?”

     “This week, my condition is better compared to last week. Last week, I didn’t have any appetite and I just kept throwing up all over the place. I lost about 3 kilograms that week.”

     “Three kilograms?! That’s insane.”

      “I also had high fever for three days straight. The highest was 39.16 Celsius. My body just felt so uncomfortable. I felt so hopeless then.”

       “Did the doctor tell you when you are able to be discharged from the hospital?”

        “I’m not exactly sure. I heard from one of my nurses that they are going to give me the lab reports. If the lab reports turn out normal, then I could go back to normal life. If not, then I have to stay here, maybe even transferred to a different room or hospital.” 

       “Yeah, we’ll see.”

         The doors banged and crashed. Groups of doctors and nurses all came in holding a clipboard.

         “Nurse, Is everything alright?

          All the medical professionals exchanged looks, some even looked on the ground.

          One sighed.“I’m afraid I have some bad news.” 

          Oh no. Just when everything was going right.

          “You have Crohn's Disease. We did the lab work two weeks ago and the results just came out yesterday.”

          Esme fussed. “Wait. What are you saying right now? I thought that all this pain I went through was because of that stupid weight training class.” 

        The nurse calmed her down. “We know it’s a bit difficult to take in at first.” 

        Esme wailed, “This is supposed to be my senior year. This year, I’m supposed to go on senior trips with my best friends, Idriss and Dionne. I already filled out a permission slip early in the year and paid the five hundred dollars for the Hawaii trip. I’m missing out on graduation, signing yearbooks, attending prom and just being with my best friends before they all go away to college. I was even excited to attend university and have my own newfound independence. What am I gonna do?” 

                I caressed her forehead and kissed her with small little jabs of my lips. Her lips against my lips felt tender and scorching. I pull back before she leans forward. “Hey. Don’t worry too much about it. You need time to recover. After all, you’ve been through a lot.” 

              She replied with a defeated look. “I guess so. But what about you? Aren’t you also going away to college like the other kids in our class?” Her tears that she was holding back broke free into a stream of river. 

             She sniffed. “Wyatt, I’ll miss you. Don’t hold back because of me. Go out there and enjoy life. If it is too painful to remember me, then I want you to forget me. I don’t want you to be in misery because of me.” 

           “I’ll.. I’ll.. miss you too. When you are alone, you can read the copy of The Silent Patient that I gave you. That way, you won’t have to stare at the wall. I’ll come visit once in a while, maybe during my break.”