Dear You

I can't stare at you too long. My eyes hurt. They burn. I think...if I stare at you too long...they might even catch fire. Just like yours that have caught the fire the moment you opened them - I've never met anyone with golden eyes.

(Every time I say that you correct me with a "They're brown, just a very light brown," but they're not. They happen to be a very vibrant golden.)

I can't stand close to you for too long. My head spins way too fast and being this close to you makes me want to jump you.

(No, thats probably not the best idea when we're in school.)

I can't let you touch me for too long. When I feel your fingers trail across my neck and travel down my spine my stomach turns around so fast and no, actually thats not the best feeling, they lie in books, it actually makes me think I'm going to be sick. But I still don't want you to take your fingers away because even though the looping in my stomach makes me want to curl up, it still is such an incredible rush that I'm starting to get addicted to it.

(No, I'm not asleep when you do that.)

I can't let you play me for too long. When you go away is the time when the hurts finally come my way. So you should either stop or play me forever .

(No, I won't mind, with you I wont mind.)

I can't see you hurt for too long. You sit there and stare out the window and I know that inside, everything is being eaten away. I love that you let me see you when you're weak but I hate you being weak. I want to walk over, wrap my arms around you and kiss away your fears and tears. But I hold your hand instead.

(No, thats not the best but for now I'm content.)

I can't be your friend for too long. I'm sorry, I've tried and I've tried so hard. But these feelings are so much more than friendly...

(And Yes, for now, thats as true as I can be.)

XOX
Me